我是季妍，出版界筆耕多年的小小插畫家一枚。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBXyVWNwYUI
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nR0zbkA0G
我熱愛我的工作，作畫迅速從不拖稿的我，筆耕之餘還在家裡開了繪畫教室騙騙小朋友，幾年下來，事業小成的我有了幾個足以讓我膨脹的稱號---出版界稱我“季快手”，學生叫我季老師…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67ZYwFjfue
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb455XvWIDq
但，這些，都不及我另一個稱號來得“響亮”。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetjbZkReSo
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UvX7F159V
這個稱號是婆婆取的，她叫我~~“無~蛋~雞”~~~464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZdGvTW1uV
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnUniNvgc4K
是的，你沒聽錯，因為在她眼中，我就是隻生不出蛋的老母雞。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pGelgGNOS
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcE0X5JBhpg
也許是怕我日子太無聊了吧，老天爺給了我一個全世界最棒的老公，卻又買一送一的附贈了個機車婆婆，結婚三年來，生不出半顆蛋的我早已被她嫌到十八層地獄，偏偏她老人家想盡辦法就是無法把我從“楊昕然老婆”的位置踢下來，因為她兒子超疼老婆…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1AwQBhCqJ4
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolfF0OZN4S
呵~~~你看她煩不煩哪！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8ptTLEvjk
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWeCsoTV7q
媳婦的肚子沒動靜，兒子又越來越“老”（明明才32歲），眼看楊家就要斷子絕孫了，婆婆的焦慮越來越嚴重，於是她開始檢討我敷不出蛋的可能原因……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavjg2O0RIA
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcDdLoR7g8
吃冰、吹冷氣……好，我改。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCismfxTuU
熬夜……對，我的錯。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEeGTVDCCQ
使用便宜水彩顏料……便宜？一盒幾千464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUF5HLcE7j7
的“林布蘭特”？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpw2nt7jpFH
呼吸的空氣有毒……好吧，我可以不呼464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2L9kskdbfM
吸了……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5iiW7dG5k
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF08XeT3waO
總而言之，親愛的婆婆把所有生不出孩子的原因都歸到我身上，偏偏怪東怪西就是不怪她兒子…有一次她親愛的兒子終於看不下去了…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzK9Pkxgt3
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXfemW6Rcy
「搞不好是我的精子有問題啊」，楊昕然先生說。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4Hp8wafgA
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6ixSuOxQn
「胡說，我們楊家的精子怎麼會有問題」，婆婆嚴厲否認。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhoicodqB87
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOwiA0O4cxi
噢，對了，說到精子，我老公是窩在手機堆裡寫APP程式的程式設計師。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHi3PCauawk
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVeuy6D02I
所以他的精子“絕對”沒問題。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREHikiKhQt
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwWMurG3ru
唉~寶貝兒子沒有錯，生不出蛋的媳婦趕不走，婆婆的日子簡直沒法過了。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4TtwZGLk3
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVO2yGE9JF
怎麼辦？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0J865Wyjj2
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡht1MvxsKjx
能怎麼辦？…只好叫媳婦多多“努力”囉！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnRRleGNTt
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5AN6ViXS8
於是，親愛的婆婆天天督促我，天天督促我，電台賣的成藥我當飯吃、全臺灣的乩童都成了婆婆的FB好友，對婆婆來說，乩童的話就是聖旨，乩童叫我做什麼我都得照做……為此我吞了香灰、喝了符水、嚐遍了你想像不到的噁心東西…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtZAjhygSi
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4wMFveoCg
但，這麼“乖巧”的我，那天還是爆發了…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6SVg0D3m7
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJVQOd2V6f
因為婆婆叫我去跪“她娘家”的祖先！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXgDMYde2a
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXF9cG5jLe
「為什麼我得去跪妳媽的（ps:這不是髒話）祖先」？…我心頭一驚。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnp3zaeR1q
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG6y49HKp0
「大師說妳祖先得罪我娘家祖先，所以祖先不要妳的種」，婆婆舒適的窩在客廳沙發上削著我剛買回來的西洋梨，「除非你向我娘家祖先下跪道歉，不然」…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVByCrOyg7
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ppriakfdF
「下跪道歉」？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUILyDz2cZ
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStDw7SaZvY
「沒錯」，婆婆繼續削梨子，「所以明天妳跟我回」…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2MdYcvWVqe
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRxKP3aZIhh
「~！…、☆○＞□＾」…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiDS4m0nNa
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ575XiDevA8
不知是不是方才喝的水果啤酒太上頭了，明明早已對婆婆的刻薄言語“免疫”的我，竟然被區區幾句話惹火了，於是，當婆婆終於消滅了難纏的梨子皮，準備享受她的勞動成果…的前一秒，我突然伸手搶走她的梨子…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWGu80jvUy
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPpj8JI2kK
「接下來還有什麼」？我紅著眼問。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0pXMhWKqo
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADsSKcreTa
「蛤」？這是我嫁入楊家以來第一次對婆婆發飆，可能是不習慣這樣的我吧，婆婆完全愣住了。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YNuPQMQEy
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jbZc37E2i
「我說…接下來妳還要怎麼“玩”我」？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfk3v7jjAwq
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIk1wqQGMe
「什麼“玩”妳」？婆婆盯著被我搶走的梨子，一臉的莫名，「我還不是為妳好」…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnJTBU3ctV
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyY01dDWhmF
「為我好」？我氣笑了，「原來逼我喝符水吃香灰吃到拉肚子是為我好」…我咬牙切齒的用梨子指著婆婆…的鼻子，「摸摸良心吧！如果今天安然生不出來妳會這樣對她嗎」？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ge6LZw4yR
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWugFEUPPM
PS:楊安然---昕然的妹妹，某私立大學夜間部學生，楊家的寶貝，也是婆婆絕不能踩的大地雷…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbuMdPth6iJ
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYcltpEIt9
但此刻氣瘋的我竟然踩下去了！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTKcCG1Yxe
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG96splnf7p
「妳…妳這隻無蛋雞」！婆婆果不其然的…炸了，她憤然站起，把我手中的梨子搶去狠砸在地，「妳敢詛咒我女兒跟妳一樣沒蛋！妳…妳給我滾出去」！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRe3jAY1BQX
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4QihpMJ3X
「為什麼我要滾」？我叉腰繼續做死，「這裡是我家耶」！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlt1I0L5Uew
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOv29TlEa0i
是的，這間位於碧潭河畔三房一廳的小屋是我和老公浪漫的家，我的婆家“遠”在五十公尺外，但我忘了婆婆是老公最親愛的老媽，更忘了婆婆是個多麼愛演的老太太。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDtGvdaEI3
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW3xoob69Fx
「妳…」…罵著罵著，婆婆竟然一屁股坐在地上嚎啕大哭起來~「嗚嗚~~我是造了什麼孽啊！年輕的時候為楊家做牛做馬，好不容易當了婆婆，還要被媳婦糟蹋」…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjITVosoH5
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6I7wQq5mZJ
「媽」…唉…又來了…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVmkeTLf7b
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfoj56pZui
我無奈的揉揉眉心，一邊讚嘆婆婆的“演技”，只是……這裡只有我和婆婆，她能演給誰看？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT78v70EIsc
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36qyfnHXhZ
咦…不對……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJDnSL87cg
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWg65ynS7Z
我看了看電視上方的大圓鐘…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG5SObEEFJ
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndNGykuuPO
呵…果然…老公接安然放學快到家了。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsSSeBdC0G
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESu5MFep3B
「我的命怎麼這麼苦啊…嗚嗚嗚」…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyFGx3OID6
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SjBcepTQ9
我無奈的看著眼前演得興起的婆婆，孝順的兒女快回來了，而苦命的母親還坐在地板上哭天搶地，可想而知，幾分鐘後這個家會有多“熱鬧”。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59p5HVF64X
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Zdkmf8TJx
「唉」…我忍不住歎氣…唉…又是這樣…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8gLjyuNQIf
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgE6X4V5gL
我很清楚如何避免即將到來的衝突…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioSMj6csFd
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNC6mafL0rH
不就是答應去跟“她媽的”祖先下跪道歉嗎？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRMYEULf0t
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaK65mmqyN6
下跪，簡單，但接下來呢？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpHOl30Ralm
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hWUOIbodA
只要我變不出孩子，婆婆永遠有新的花招等著我…464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vtgyzBDER
　　464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSlylnnYPFQ
我已經陪婆婆玩兩年了，這樣的日子我還得熬多久？464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJMbL3ElKr
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJXZso6SNw
　　　　我 受 夠 了！！！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByDyTuFnKA
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqIDFD3gT4
「妳慢慢哭吧」，婆婆的哭聲幾乎穿透了天際，但我已經不在乎了…在一片空白的思緒中，我恍惚的握住了大門門把…「我~~不幹了」！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1wkaxKDFa
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZwwoJsctO
“ 砰”！！~~的一聲…婆婆的哭嚎聲被留在了門後。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhumYHAusn
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQRIaMTkVJ
我走出門外，迎接我的是愁煞人的秋雨，十月的碧潭剛迎來入秋第一道寒流，冰冷的雨絲一根根扎入我毫無防護的雙臂，我知道我該回頭，但我無路可退。464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnVTSNIKoN
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFVYDOlA7Q
退不得，那就跑吧！464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMiy56JGmF
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQagNk8YhF
於是我開始拼命奔跑、拼命奔跑……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyDa6HYCmYi
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vJgHF5hEL
萬萬想不到，這一跑，竟跑出了我的第一個孩子，還有那短暫卻一生難忘的姐妹情誼……464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq1PkzWmr5
464Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1rnyfCMEw
這是一個很短、很短的故事，如果您允許的話，請容我用旁觀者的角度，向您娓娓道來吧。