你好，我是莊坌但。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jf78hbbOH
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gzLzf4O8X
等等，你現在一定「噗嗤」的笑了出來，然後想著這是什麼白痴名字啊？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr1NuXZ19D8
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIKUZDxCWW
對，我也覺得這名字很白痴，尤其這還是我爸整整一年叫我兒子，終於在我一歲整時，去找個算命師特別算出來的名字，據說是九五之尊的好名字。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHdjSglVPW
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsL2aqMBio
我覺得這應該是九五加滿的屁名字，九五個屁。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQiiC5ts0s
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAs7gvtCoB
再說說當我爸第二天再帶我去找那個算命師時，那個算命師竟然被警察抄掉了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpEnp7b59i
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWhaqU04WH
媽的，在我面前被抄掉耶。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKz5em2nM9o
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyryd6YwH82
我想這件事絕對對我造成很大的創傷，不然我也不會把一歲發生的事記到現在了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcyJFrcdCIW
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kticuWi6h
更別說每次的自我介紹了，那簡直是地獄。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyNu8rvlrq
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMcESl1bpq
「大家好，我叫……黑板上的就是我的名字。」我總是低著頭，不想看到班上同學討論我名字的嘴臉，那會讓我不小心上社會新聞頭版。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhT0sPOjdYb
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNh6kanqan
小學一年級，同學看不懂我的名字，還有種「你好屌喔」的感覺。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnYrfYIgJq
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjY1fDQp5y
到了小學六年級，那真的很恐怖。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ZkAhwLgm4
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡne4K16gr01
「喂，那叫莊什麼但？」一個看起來長大會拿刀跟別人問好的同學，轉頭問一個年紀輕輕就戴了看起來和戴起來度數都超深的眼鏡的同學。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhGTDzPgC8
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UDFLfFxM7
「坌，念起來就跟笨蛋的笨一樣。」戴眼鏡的同學想都沒想就講出來。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGsSErjtpi
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AefyM0Ybc
全班開始爆笑，我只能站在台上傻笑，一直笑，不然我會想掐死那個戴眼鏡的同學。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkqXUl7l8V
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28ALOkGBWI
請把這個畫面重播，這也是我國高中自我介紹時，所發生的慘劇。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8kWZniKWm
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt1lE1k7OQ
而我的綽號，也一路走來，始終如一的「笨蛋」加上一個會心一笑。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFuWHJXHmPx
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh6b7oLHSi6
大學聯誼時，我想我就像是在地獄被天使笑吧。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDQCHiMOMe
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7LFz3aRHV
「你好，我是……」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmBJYuIyMk
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SVxF0ekw7
「他的名字叫莊坌但喔！超厲害的對不對？坌就是大坌坑文化那個坌，但就是但是的那個但，所以我們都叫他笨蛋喔，超屌的對不對？」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2eysFfJdg
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lZhqvtxy7
室友真是幫我介紹的相當好……個屁！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnavz41nBxZ
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wZHhMRwLu
我就只能傻愣愣的笑，然後對面女生就摀著嘴笑。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9VuCBS6FN
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30xXwx7H2m
偏偏，我的長相比普通還普通，也沒有有錢的老爸，更沒有找男人屁眼的癖好，所以我一直沒有女朋友。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDsmonnSOlt
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIwuH8hIcIG
畢竟，誰也不想叫「笨蛋的女朋友」吧？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItPVFTwU1B
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Zx0bgbdDu
再說說我的人生吧，這名字絕對是個詛咒！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmaogq6vfO
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5H4muVdCs
從小體適能1600跑走就是我的惡夢，更別說在那段期間我身體的抵抗力還會自動升級一個level！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKJsp21BNE
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQcN3cUQhQ
此時你一定會想，抵抗力提升有啥不好？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqDloV05rp
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGH6JqaXB8
不好啊非常的不好啊！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtCHGygaDB
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRrdn8V90H
感冒簡直跟我是好碰友，我家擺的藥也簡直可以開一間藥局了。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3nj5QANOO
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FQglEzEoM
而體育老師的規定，只要身體不舒服就可以不用參加，前提是，他會陪著你去保健室。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHvUmI983n
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVZpQ3HZoQ
但是，就算測體適能前一天，我的鼻子還在被鼻涕強姦，只要一覺醒來，我就能夠用鼻子呼吸，然後痰也會自動消失，肚子痛什麼的也一併痊癒！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYF8PinPPC
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKcRNKy6SJ
然後我當然只能哀怨的等著老師點到我的名字，接著緩緩的跑完1600……或是走完。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1Ldy8hRRw
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3GMSVf2T5
出了社會，總是得找份工作。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0kLqK4y74
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KkOMvqwiJ
我自己買了台50CC通勤。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalL7PDFDvD
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU7NtHlPs3Y
但我想它跟我一樣，體弱多病。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DSCxXxm85
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50MvgkQ9C2
常常停個紅燈後，它就不想動了，所以我得一個月去車行一次，不然我就只能走路去上班。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaYnK4YECf
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtVsHj2cAJ
而且我想，它是台只要載別人就會很威猛的50CC。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusukKPjbJR
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LiWeHwrtF
「坌但我今天坐公車來，等等載我回家喔。」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDtxcyP1QT
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgECXeSWQDY
「喔，不過我的50CC很爛，有可能一半就掛了喔。」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty7rP4adwF
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIDW3Zldya
「哎呀，沒差啦，真的掛了再說。」444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPgMpoAdK6
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiFpZLPNFz
然後，我很順利的將同事載回去，而我家的50CC在路上連熄火都沒有。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZraIGTRzMv
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqHyJ0UgFF
「沒很爛啊，聽它引擎的聲音感覺很猛咧。」同事在他家門前這樣說。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMsrvN35oaJ
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICMixwIYiT
我發動50CC，然後同事關門。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvKCgyVxkB
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZNCX57W5Z
它熄火，我傻眼。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrGaZenNJB
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhWtbX22mx
好險我跟我同事回家的路是同一條，所以我一邊緩緩的牽著它回家，一邊罵著它這台竟然給主人熄火的50CC。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbqMsnZCsP
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLPIXDniWZu
當然，出了社會還是沒有女朋友。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55DxImOG1B
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk5SgOPfYf
畢竟誰也不想當「笨蛋的女朋友」乃至於「笨蛋的老婆」吧。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ72wWEcBsvJ
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfBH1nHSFT
但叫坌但又不是我的錯！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgFjxyn8ge
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡva5pBUOCti
我無聊環顧著新租來的房子──前一棟因為地震垮了，隔壁的房子頂多家具壞掉，偏偏就我的整棟垮掉──看到了我目前用不到，以後可能也用不到的雙人沙發。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlfj5MrrhM
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPI0IG86CV8
我打開筆電，百無聊賴的看著日本的動畫，也許我還是希望能夠像裡面的主角一樣，開個後宮吧？444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d0cZvacV1
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3VGyrd9Ei
不過那就叫「笨蛋的後宮」了，想到這裡，我竟然不自禁的笑了出來，笑到眼淚都飆了出來。444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaCuiNe1dOu
444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnnJJN8N6L
混帳，一個人的人生哪是名字能夠決定的啊！444Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFi1TcZMhO
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