09.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QMlhwyq0f
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYKwYHV8EY7
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePngIzimDc
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ546Xog7TG7
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVvWJpoooR
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUfK0ssb32
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2BHLz399N
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfN96WA5Ci
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjN5b8AHA8P
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlj4iX6tZeL
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBHBKkwyL2
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FfapNmDVh
「怎麼了？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywUy5pg24f
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMh1Uv7rrG
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwNHKV7IPi
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRmcgURkfX
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAaPeM8EVt
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSoyAEgGQI
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKy5A9L9EY
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUPTXQinCv
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ichjOSRjc
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdgMzu8ZLC
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDf9Y4sK0i
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdwhnc6S73
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvkwYL2luN
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq0f2SKGOE
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKEUSq9JjT
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsdeueWT6l
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vLA89N2uy
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ3J0lbRfF
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ90358rzy
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2TT2TNeziB
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlhEhxhBUW
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYvpMMU4dD
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6YtbEbxDM
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjZgbp2F4J
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzD0058dTe8
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrtHKyLa1Sl
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFd4NRKz3sH
「也要。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAFvUKvBBz
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WRMGTIk2j
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXnHrSrTH6
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5UHfDshwy
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRpx7gquZ3c
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgcAmEc1hj
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcHmNvblq0
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO10bnImdT2
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0wwzeoRYFo
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LnqRklZg1
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiHjjFR8yQ
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlA0s2v7rza
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUa1f5Qt5q
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeRbU5ypbx
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9d2yp9Nev0
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bYoGaHr07
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVP5KItYXP
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAsOEYKRnW
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeDVohFsgV
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLrxkgXbrR
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvI7t5Z4rs6
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkCf89YW9m
「愛的本質？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3rRlqQlmi
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEBkDD0naS
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanwFfaFN6f
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiD5VdT1NrK
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIpFO9JZT2
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8mdoQH7dj
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFvexvyILh
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuj2wspeDIo
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyeAtzCbBr
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1OICcJk9u
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbDwTtVTCo
「新年快樂。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzlZuciHKk
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPSwnjkEGk
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnM0TblEV5A
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO66dQJR2Pc
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgZbjn2iLe
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvey9Ty9wR
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggQ3RLwRR5
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvCKwHVxYM
「新年快樂，傑。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRy8bkO4vh7
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8urSv5LGd
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFWCHZlXnZ
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRTRpOHbfx
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzRX7CaTup
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaIou2Jm0s
10.197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGyjjggJe2
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqgO11zRaQ
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFy2EFF2bQ
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qOH6qOEXH
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrevR7P7b2D
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkillAk1B6Y
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEi8WsEZc4
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKjJUu8Mzn
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw72yDJ4nU
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNRLkfDMwyF
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuyMZwrBLI
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1w7xSum51
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1vL4wt6vh
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIqMJFHJEu
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7GwlSjW5Z
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1huFokOEUu
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0bo1j1u16
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoozwpihxF
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2DjVtZ1rtN
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2hzlg9X40
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3qeDUpqCY
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡco6l2OCC5Y
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN84FjX0xi7
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaMtAH2FNkX
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3Sz6Lv6Tr
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNm8XACg2T
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwNaPJiuVQ
他對我說：不進來嗎？197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVUNtI9lPb
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOc2ivWJVr
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtKjDMANH4
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZxPzA9JuM
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66gous59kD
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡao348fiBFV
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXFED4vQB0
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PbwOLkkOK
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DAWm2u4kd
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBm1IaFVv4q
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FT5BX12xY
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIBuKb4HHX
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JSh5mArlF
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbaspDarfR7
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnjlNzEyHg
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8ICAzGAEF
我好像從未了解過他。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQtFQIPuvep
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijCzENPn5H
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ofJUhNScE
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXP9igv3Zr
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOYhnMEd63
「是你嗎？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDCd4GfKFE
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW2YdYu8mc
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0TiZJkDJw
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRmCkKE0hy
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavMVnRnVCk
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPasE3mR0r
夏油傑笑了一下。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22myg2CDv5
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJSPYnirsq
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAF5PPyBue
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxzsOzpzLl
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4JH8MPZ9H
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRVYUR0aER
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnq7vPpnma8
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBDlROunx8
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInI9eBQ5qx
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPRRU1QN2B
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxTKX4VCis
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBpgOjbWJW
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0HIpDf9rB
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8kAFJyNXk
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNuEfQ64L4
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFZFz8awmP
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo709bAARO8
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHle9Dj5M9a
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4hE8yetEC
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6tjJXoLTP
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxhhn1MAgA
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3BY6f6I8M
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9nQvQJ6GS
就這樣吧。197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcX7wlAcvu6
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCNFFmjmCV
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmsajCTRXA
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnGshbBJg1
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