09.234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2IPhrFRDUo
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tMh3nDh2r
課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9cs9OPae2R
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZHWLNXROY
又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEyaCtDjD3
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaLfBy9NVw
傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5BqryO6sG
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAwN6FRwvv
他回頭看向我，「嗯？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0AaTNNYp1
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKYcvudtYA
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4lJ8N8SAX
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqrX0BZp82J
「怎麼了？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLM4qy0I7t
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw7OPJjjGa
沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOkKtq9iBsN
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQ4KIuMUm2
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZAHEjhhZL
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lrprqbfaK
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DQfiY8mc8
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirAEdarGAL
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwfOtjia3a
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcdiRd2AjR
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NCGNU08hE
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2OvJvBkVDP
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZZVepUDpr
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHccwPognE
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXHCTdyLEH
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4WURT42ws
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbbmpj1JYW
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBE5qNGNqJl
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtj7HqaWw0S
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCjmJP1kfF
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDp8F6qq97
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XFjBlH9Ky
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuL7iUmBIDN
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZg9ghFlaU
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyY3DvnBVn
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOGZKlNo9X
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCOjWGRhkp
「也要。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQWgaQ6TCB
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6XjYQb6Zy
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0x8UGwoD8w
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ7MhXjlkUU
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgnErzhsh7
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLrB0vD8alK
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DjTAvEzeO
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXfG4CDjYw
從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8uHvCdoyk
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAq9rQkdZ0J
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvvR3hLp5hx
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQMe7LfmCx
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteX2gONIin
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsZ8uc9bew
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxSI6VrjD3
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpCwnEURdN
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoILKYap28H
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuPMgodZTD
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPeix41T490
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIp85e15a2H
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5NWj1Hc6c
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAbPufBMBm
「愛的本質？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6vq4TfMHN
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCq7Y8aM8K
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6R0xd5d9u
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTgbcAAaoz
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaQm3h6wiAJ
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4L2wVeFx2o
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxjm2FeutK
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOImi4qE5d
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYsVLTPSXM
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgH6Dgfx3D
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVTSc5joTX
「新年快樂。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0sxleE2ck
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMU3o4Mfw2
站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNzqqhP48V
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1nW9d3Ck5a
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3NtThV0rc
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsAOQMjFFqA
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56OHqEub2r
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYanY2HmNr5
「新年快樂，傑。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hxbYkvNSp
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHdwXkId2u
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVW8qm1M0TG
──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4B6k0JYBc
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoAk8IUdMf
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyaDZcRwGYL
10.234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0BnH2ckXp
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ052imJyJJ7
夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTF2wAb4mp
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq3LUSOTjlM
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEnM2nFbGA
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOIm0DMBOOZ
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYNiYMHlfO
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrGLWEQAbq
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4qdSmeBAa
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHNNHmFv4b
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnvIm7FHGi
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUrEF6eAJT
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxbab6iq6l
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8Y0T9a3Nr
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtN71ns0RZq
隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CkHOH0UQy
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgrpaDwmy7
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJb0cIKnPR5
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAf1IO3EF4
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBhWvGKWvF
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKa0tsCUaZ
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauPM4PY0Xx
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuYvaxJUH2R
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0687tgPdg8
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3gtFWGMv6
電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1e1BeTQHsB
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNdHN28u62
他對我說：不進來嗎？234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAFESH8x5tT
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyJSoRZ5yTR
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOj0vOcgQt
室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfTciaqet2
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3mAlf15vE
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvs4f1FZbfO
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8G8VnJ1qjW
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNr77kLzhP
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZanDDKHcFi
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCXtO1NZaA
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxITxsArl3
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUc4HUbNnA
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqr7iLTufF
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0y2GnEaih
就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTMmP4COli
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGNsapqvdo
我好像從未了解過他。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtFzfkNhZRt
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslxvRn2ru2
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwu59IcMeuQ
我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡByCzSVL7uY
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPS6lrXTvP
「是你嗎？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkR8BRlUkHm
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3upVBXTbm
是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHIe2EWlIH
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01KVC9MLtb
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbwhR6bjVi
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCwfPkqJFq
夏油傑笑了一下。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnMWR8N5FM
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEUIF2cLGC
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMKyevrLDd
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLcI3emmKN
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFYpxAhjWja
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEfkBQU3Mf
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9CMPnrOZi
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZntGbTq6V
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3E9DNVHK7
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8OIF0Xd26
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0ZjZGT07k
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVjJtylcPCS
都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU6ensUw2ET
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwi7tdNHgQ
但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHe9FvQUGp
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHpKuqSWrK
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeWkfM8LZ9
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzG8eLokabq
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNP3dXek1t
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSRT5gsudH
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMH9mOkGsA
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡty5cPwk34H
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcN2UbHdnZH
就這樣吧。234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76zUoZGocO
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOFPn5W5Rb
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VPFHhsZSw
234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MqzNluHif
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCVqUJzDNT
240815 10 二修234Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cmsDpk6Ab
