致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ54QLkWzK9
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前提，是特殊情況之下302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuEzZLubqM
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXCZg9C0R2
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大概302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRdEHkcyRw
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPs4WAWDJD
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkkBWTCgXMT
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「⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0v7RpBifAq
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkPxbk6o2h
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBpHYydsWH4
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCFm9Z69wa
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcVgqmkS4u
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不良日常性時候302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0h0mmkgGN
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC79B2D9B1N
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSShxRmYXB
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZrrVWjDyi
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Jx2kVp7ST
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDJGl4e8At
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5PTvDCninV
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJyT4pPYmj
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IlPqpOLIW
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNCFkwzoJe
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrHfpkg0AX
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「呀！來了、來了！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovGdM1aI5b
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「走啊～」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7ll5orhmU
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcomLEnoNZo
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JEiNQ5lRA
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他302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UqMwFM5vz
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「又被欺負了嗎？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SmHxMklzs
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1chFZnLFhQ
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39OKufLlj6
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQGWK2FUw7
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDMj02kD6B
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKLCze0Cn0
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⋯⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSLksKsknL
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怎也好呢302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvC8OWWIrr
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「⋯⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn45EC4D3Z
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIumQsKb06
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9HpMinEjQ
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—— 咔 ——302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFakkZKGlp
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⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DRXCGIVcQ
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⋯⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5ydjysPUj
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKe4ltfzFVJ
「嗚⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jmP2xqVlk
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5jWvBguoB
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBgaPA2ruV
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRJt4cOMHn
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「啊？！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYQKUzmznf
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—— 啪噹 ——302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡap2nvWLEBt
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRg05URm25
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtWdx4dulz
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她一樣302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoo8sW91Adx
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkD2xH0QBIe
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9QqvaCZyA
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「對不起！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ30uhkRVP6
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtidlgAphi8
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「來」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgixCgLtV7b
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「⋯謝謝」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloGLnbPefA
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSIFNWMool
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gJdvAOZj5
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFUuf32laj
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekRpT8QcCc
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「那個，水無月？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVAeChLKwz
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「怎麼了？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHx8hxJ1jI0
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyNUCOx9th
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各種302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8yt0CfQTH
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMDn9xbEsO
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfBLHXVqW9
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且只能回味302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiiTyt86jd
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「回來了嗎，島見？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjAX0HWWS3
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHTqUYhZhQ
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslxppsdUOQ
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwyBGrBAnYo
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「媽媽⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2i0iiS9ZN
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「⋯⋯是的？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GlXGqWQ5i
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTFRoULEcK
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsPnyVexXO
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEx0ycr4bA
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKAj5xo6Y8
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呢302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxu5YYrqwx
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIcbyIpjNq
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwykKNl3Rq4
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來得太突然了
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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太過成功才使人後悔啊302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrXRUXDeOJ
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzu5flOW8C
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如果⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBgK067cbo
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFUFLNfJ00
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來得太突然了，去得太突然302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSl1CpZUQkg
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklWqgLNOQh
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道歉又有什麼用？302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRa8QVIZWBJ
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卻302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxGkrXkubv
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6REDWljKD8
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要説再見了嗎？302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K9GnqlcLu
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我不想302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNV3XodAiKb
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBha34bVcQm
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXW2Zm2RUUI
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我不想那樣子302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJxUyJnuAS
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3gIqITQjj
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnepiuhzZhH
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不在這般的前半生之後302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3nlF8RiwU
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⋯⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6QkJyRAXG
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無論如何，日子倒是來了302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUg5SOpQtAe
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最後的笑容，就在當刻302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYxc6wHQ4R
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOg2PApnE1J
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—— 啾 ——302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL4ctSzmrN0
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我不接受302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0BBA1iAZn
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「賀羽⋯？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8C8ccIF45
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—— 啾 ——302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDDhHjlSaZ8
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGuIPqW72z
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcXGzG9Tzk
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我不接受這樣的結果302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIGScJGLo1
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYrvkoi2CQ
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vj0KSHDIb
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHzobxjidBb
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我的本性302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YyqxoF1aH
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJp6uPlCVH
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—— 啪 ——302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBCTeZ8YRD
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「給我閉嘴」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZF47Kn2Sb
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGuBBhEoYz
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我終究只是野獸而已呢302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrpr1BWdiZ
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhYla7Lr2L1
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrhrYS8s9D
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而作為人形野獸真的該死302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhWTRJScXj
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如此痛苦也是活該302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0JzAsC8si
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忘記不能也是302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTjjbyJuGq
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5luCm6fJGb
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLP7ZgyOpE5
「張開口！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIegQrXurbc
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTq3qRgSCQK
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發現了嗎？302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRpMBw8UxO
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgzxkO6wEV
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARJ6icc9vn
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJiJyQ2JIT
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「為什麼⋯⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLvKdLPngf
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我所嚮往的302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF20dfWF6G
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所謂的302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkenziTjE5F
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「正常」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuktbd3qJt
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純粹是個謊言302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmFJ3dVHzZ
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCEfH3ukqC
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWlDcplrtz
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⋯⋯302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnJ7ogoHfK
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所以說，我是異類嗎？302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuDaNB2H7S
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「⋯⋯再見了」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0Cok7j7ue
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當然302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBae5XdCvR
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkaQ215tnb
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS6Af3IJeN
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WQyjy1zqA
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「嘿⋯」302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjv2bgKnjd5
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自討而已302Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYBpiV7nAD
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns3.17.156.147da2
