EP 11 這份擁抱真實的代價
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「你們回來了嗎?」264Please respect copyright.PENANA5pu6yIdb2l
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在花園裏,新井的妹妹坐在樹陰下,而她的大腿,成為了水無月的膝枕
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「良世你沒事吧?」264Please respect copyright.PENANAWJoqiBaVDv
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「奈奈子姐姐!人家⋯人家沒事了喔!你看!」264Please respect copyright.PENANAmoQ4jqoJNL
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女孩精力十足地回應
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「這可是因為赤羽姐姐的幫忙呢!」264Please respect copyright.PENANADTm5u69MRP
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首先從走廊的陰影踏進陽光之中,是高個子的女性,長直的黑髮,淑女的存在如同歌劇台的紅布,強烈的氣息掩蓋了先前的味道,轉幕,後方跟隨過來的是名鹿奈的男子,還有⋯兩人
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面無表情的男性,還有跟在後面的女子,抓住男方的手,卻步速不及,樣子狼狽,兩人之間還有一絲
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分隔
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「這樣嗎⋯便好了」
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走在後方的鹿奈明顯地鬆了一口氣
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「⋯不過穩陣起見⋯來⋯」264Please respect copyright.PENANA5pERGLXWm2
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尷尬的兩人,男子的佐島走近了一步,當他踏出第二步時,被女性捉住的手限制了他的移動
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「放手,我不說第二次了」264Please respect copyright.PENANAbHcVAG0fNm
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鈴木 花子,眼中閃過白光,唐突地放開手,倒抽一口氣,她不敢回望對方,低下頭,生怕自己的淚水被看見,生怕自己顫抖的兩手被注意到
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但沒有,沒有人在乎,佐島 一茂轉身便走開264Please respect copyright.PENANA8NoRYPbYRv
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而女子站在那,半身還在陰影之中,捉住自己右手手肘,嘗試壓抑急促的呼吸
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祈賀一切處於吉祥成圓寂,成就無往大自在,使善良的人得善業,惡人立地悔過,亦使修信者的信念堅定,昇華淨地而脫離紅塵生死之困,使其身心不染凡塵之俗而長放明光264Please respect copyright.PENANAFCAnJGVhDl
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讓之如意自在,如此的善性必能破除所有惡業障道,達成自在的真言264Please respect copyright.PENANASiu9rsKr9r
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修成正果無所著往,凡事耐心修行,捨去頑念,終究能發掘真正的喜樂
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萬事成為吉祥的真言之理,不分你我人他,天下平等,只要以理智的鋭利斬開煩惱和戲言,清心練修,則成得真喜264Please respect copyright.PENANAFxhOm7X1xf
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仰心堅道,乃不會落入逆境,而豐有智慧,功無不圓,德無不寂,迅速成就覺悟之道264Please respect copyright.PENANAcLSgJGtxgR
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彼岸至吧,感賀真言吉祥之處,去吧去吧,眾皆往至彼岸吧
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在礫石旁邊的地上,是男和女,如果這個是個聖經故事,便分別名之亞當和夏娃
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只是現實並不是一個神話,不是一個宗教傳聞,沒有神跡的世界中,世人看待非常的出現都作為神罰,上天的怒惡
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是罪,對惡人們的罪行感到憤怒,對在大地上行走的螻蟻下了神旨,以神聖的裁決判之不忠處罰
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下令苦痛,為贖罪之佣
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是神聖的詛咒264Please respect copyright.PENANAGlJInm8ygN
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尤其是對那叛背了初衷的少女,那試圖跟隨莉莉絲步伐的扭曲
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唯是,西方聖經的世界實在無法真正述之大罪264Please respect copyright.PENANAdJPrrn30Sg
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三千大罪,無明之過集於一身,瞎其心境而不清天地,行苦生,業障之道,不見論小大乘亦能濟之愚
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執者不痴而念在無明支,癡者的煩惱顛其眼中黑白,闇昧造作不達不解不了,涅槃途徑之距仍需經七次苦行修途
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佛之悲授悔,放下心頭之恨,立地成佛,察無明乃始,無始無明
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身為未種下善根、未清視淨障、未成熟或相續,未多修智勝解,以及未能積集福德、智慧兩糧,釋迦牟尼絕可為己三轉法輪
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初轉示輪煩惱散,二轉教輪無相、三轉證輪善分別,授道論法無生無滅而本生寂靜,一切自性涅槃,叫之信可解可
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眾生之俗,停十二有支之無明,執迷不悟之色,故失三有四有264Please respect copyright.PENANAYhA423DlHZ
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不達欲界,止色界外,方禁步無色界
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本無、死無、中無,生無
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然而我佛慈恩,再輪迴業報,派貴人悉息其生眾情,始入十二因緣,治無明與執念無明
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真言只是,佛理並不是唯一的道,業障終也是要靠施主本身突破,昇華之抉在於念間,抑制煩惱之力
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為了少女,少年付出了代價,換來了生有,只是少女能否察己身,終止貪嗔癡之輪迴,只可靠她自己的意志
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噩夢人柱玩偶 爱麗絲264Please respect copyright.PENANAxCc8psyj0i
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鈴林 花子264Please respect copyright.PENANAi4vKCnuIod
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這是少年正抓住的少女,她的名字
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少年拖動無力的身體,爬向少女的身體,伸手觸其手肘
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無力的手緊握,頓時,一道綠光出現,在手心和手肘之間
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那是一道翠綠色的光芒,比祖母綠色更純似寶石的欣賜,是代表大自然母親的光亮,將生命的顏色顯現出來的結果,千萬的祝福從之中,隱若能見到,還有,一絲黃藍外的光澤,純粹的單色
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一股衝動和欲望的結晶,是附有全新意義的存在,正因如此,才給予全新的名字:
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說欲望和衝動,是本性,基因的表現無誤,直接説生命的根性甚可為正確,但兩者的混合,乃比本性更強大
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生命之上的存在,勝於一切肉體的虛形之物,介於「無」與「有」間隔中的精神
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精神的同域,意識,自主意識,對自我的確定,分離外、內的能力,抵抗外在的原始動力
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「怒氣」264Please respect copyright.PENANAwpILp1roxb
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是憤怒
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少年抓住少女,是出於單單的怒氣,比起欲望更高,是因為情感出於更複雜的意識,而非單單刻在基因中的「定律」,勝於生命,比生命,更恐怖
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因為執念是無法改變,只能破壞,但破壞,是一個失敗
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因為不同於有限的生命
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永恆的想法,是無法被真正被消滅的
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全新的開始264Please respect copyright.PENANA3I2cA0DJFq
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全新的希望
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全新的體驗
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全新的生活
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全新的車
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全新的生命
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全新的想法
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全新的勇氣
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全新的感覺
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全新的絕望
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全新的身體
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全新的心靈
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全新的自己
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全新的折磨
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全新的歌
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全新的哀曲
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全新的世界
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全新的悔疚
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全新的回憶
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全新的死亡
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全新的痛苦
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全新的
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⋯⋯
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您不是全新的
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昨晚下過雨來264Please respect copyright.PENANA0AnJ9GgaJL
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中午的陽光照耀著葉子上的露珠,儘管石頭地面已經乾了,但綠葉沒有,那是因為葉面上的疏水性質面和籤毛,至少生物課是這樣教,坐在窗旁,望住外頭的葉子,聽著背景課室中,同學們的說話聲,微微打在耳鼓上的聲音,彷如按摩,叫人逐漸萌生睡意
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「我說,你別睡啊」
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正當眼皮正處於關機狀態,大腦即將乘上前往夢鄉的直通車,那干擾性的按筆聲襲來,強迫精神進行自由落空,全身肌肉一個收縮,叫人在模糊中醒來
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「欸!我說,你不是還有作業還沒有做嗎?待下午息後便是那科的課了喔」264Please respect copyright.PENANAPoKVLrrXcg
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坐在桌子對面的女子,手肘放桌上,托住腮子斜著頭,望住自己,訓導的口吻呼喚自己
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「不打算做嗎你這傢夥?老師可是會罰你留堂,功課做好才讓你走喲,別忘了你是累犯的説」
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「吃完飯不睡覺做什麼?午休有休字不是沒原因嘛」264Please respect copyright.PENANA2tc7buyKxe
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睡眼惺忪的我說個話也困難,盡量避免含糊不清地回話卻格外辛苦,倒頭便趴回在桌上睡
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「那麼是說,一茂你打算今天又又又留堂嗎?都放假前最後一天耶」
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她的聲音並不刺,反而開始變聲後帶點厚實,也不大聲,花子說話很注重自己的聲量,剛好,清晰地打擾自己和睡眠的婚姻生活
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「誰會在家做功課」
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「我」
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無奈的語氣,我隱約感覺到鄙視的目光
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「我,不會」
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「會不會過分啦?怎有一年生像你這樣,每星期都留堂呀?話說你當初又是怎樣考進來的?」
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「我可以考進來因為是命運」
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「聽你廢話,期末作業和考試我可不管你了,叫命運女神用第三隻眼睛幫你吧」
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「不要嘛」
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「不要你的不要」
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因為手肘被額頭壓得有少許麻,所以我很順手地伸手,拿走了女子放在桌上,摺好的毛衣,擅自當枕頭用了
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「我說,你這樣會壓壞」
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「我不在乎」
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「哼,不管你了,我自己繼續讀書」
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花子那方靜了下來,說話聲,唯獨是筆在平板上戳碰的聲響還是很阻擾
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「麻煩請你寫字可以小聲點嗎?你這麼吵我睡不到」
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「你⋯!你啊⋯我說⋯」
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倒抽著氣,少女發出冷冷淡淡的笑聲,又笑又氣的感覺,直至完全靜止後,她說
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「你還真好意思的說」
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「對」
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「對什麼鬼」
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少女用筆打在自己的手肘上
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「快點啦,我教你做就是了」
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「你的借我抄」
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「不要」
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「那我先睡」
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「快點啦,起身做東西啦」
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我還好想睡多一會
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放學後的數分鐘,走廊上已經沒有同學們的蹤影,不是到活動中心去,便是回家去了,從課室中走出空盪盪的長廊,走前靠在欄杆,望著操場後的田園,我等待著站在課室門口的那女士完成複閱
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「看上去可以了,感謝」
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「終於不用留到黃昏了呢,佐島」
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「你可以走了喔,還有,祝你聖誕快樂」
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「嗯,謝謝主任,我先走了」
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向她點頭,女士點頭回應,只見她轉身就走,手抱平板往教員室去
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逆向走去,輕鬆的步伐疾步至走廊末,從樓梯頂的扶手上滑到樓梯底,急不及待暫別式永別校園,一如既往地去地面飯堂找那傢伙,只是當走出門口,手便被捉住
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「⋯我說,我在這哦」
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黑髮的少女從快跌倒的姿勢站回起來,調正眼鏡的位置,以疲意的死魚眼瞪向自己
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「你在這幹嘛,還有怎麼這麼累的樣子」
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「我剛剛沒去飯堂睡呀,我可相信你不用五、六點才走,最快⋯十分鐘⋯不過似乎高估你了」
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「不就多一分鐘,那老婆婆總是很多話,沒辦法啦」
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檢視腕上的時間,我聳肩,無奈回覆
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「那現在呢?怎了?回家?」
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我攤開手心,對她問道
264Please respect copyright.PENANA8KRdqcemdS
「回你個家,小朋友才回家,我們去玩」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAskT0j1gyxI
女子一個大力拍下去手心,打得有點紅
264Please respect copyright.PENANAvLvQrRtiN9
「你不用回去照顧你的妹妹弟弟嗎?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlY6ixoJHtt
曳著手,我嘗試揮散著痛覺
264Please respect copyright.PENANALoWWLReQ0h
「我爸今天方便,可以幫忙,雖然天黑前要回去就是了」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtWw06tYy38
「好喔,那去那裏」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAsuIuAJw6Fm
「銀座」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmgdcj05NmT
頓下,女子的雙眼從比木乃伊更死,到比盾牌座更亮,閃了期待的白光起來似的
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwZjjVfFJkh
「什麼鬼」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAqe709Z6pz9
只是聽到回覆的瞬間,心痛,錢包痛
264Please respect copyright.PENANABAj9DPTMeL
「你應承過我哦,作為學業輔導的回報,別忘了,我就好想去銀座吃中華料理」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJlD5yrHNPA
花子倒後走著,跟隨之,兩人緩緩離開了校門
264Please respect copyright.PENANABRxxbA5j8w
「我們就兩個普通的初中生,那有錢?銀座不是我們這些庶民去的地方吧?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANARd6s2wVyih
「孤寒鬼,哼」
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3i1x9LJzg2
「好啦,那麼去東京吧,現在走快點的吧可以趕上下一班直通車喲?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3FAQUI7WQ1
「噫,只是你想去那邊吧?看音遊,打商店街,吃城景,逛馬卡龍」
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6giyZn3Tqa
「動詞全錯」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGcKxDvYzQw
提起步伐,並肩前走,兩個窮人正在走上敗家路上,火車站去
264Please respect copyright.PENANA98POStkbVf
「就像你的藉口一樣,你明明有錢,只是都把錢丟到宅宅的東西本店去了,嗚咽,我們的友誼真的比不上二次元的獸人嗎?你這個獸控」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQW5ImnyOmZ
露出俏皮的笑容,語氣得意洋洋,女子語畢跑到前面去,見加快的腳步,自己也不為意地追上去,嘴巴自己則在回撃
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQmEScmnSfr
「你才獸控,你全家獸控,我喜歡人類形態的娜奇,不是老虎形態的」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQwR9qmkgmb
「再者你不也是嗎?明明打琴用錢比我凶,叫我墊你的數」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQiz9gh5g7g
「那是還利息」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAns9VaRqKSd
「最好是啦!」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjjSr5ZMRre
「跑快點啦!下一班車還有三分鐘到了!」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAv1uloYoBYD
在傻氣中狂奔,穿過大街小巷往人羣中去的兩人,臉上掛著孩子的天真
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPdqPf9q94u
雖說是該開始煩惱的青春期就是了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAdgKqqM4QwP
264Please respect copyright.PENANAn48Ek3KW95
純白的畫紙,留白的美妙,真好
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAsdWNZJshf
264Please respect copyright.PENANA4Dy8lt6psa
因為昨晚下過雨,今天的天空沒有一片白雲,一望無際
264Please respect copyright.PENANAWC5V4n4Kxt
在更繁盛的城市中,美麗的海藍天下,我們愉快地渡過了為數不多的光陰,時間總是不經意從指間流出,成為了刻在夢中的過去
264Please respect copyright.PENANA76OMQryyA5
若然不知道命運的安排,能更幸福的話,不如就默默地當條金魚,在沉悶的水缸中自由自在,不會哀愁,不會煩慮,無憂慮
264Please respect copyright.PENANArO3rKg5rcC
倒是要自己將好的壞的,所有我們之間的回憶都通通忘記了,那樣的話反而更殘酷,好叫我夜中抬頭望向白色的吊燈,無法叫出名字的迷惘
264Please respect copyright.PENANAv0tzheTnAR
卻現在當下,我們只要安靜地樂在其中,一聲不發地集中,注意指頭的着陸點,留心手腕的力度究竟是橙紅還是水藍,跟隨拍子機的四拍子,彈奏十六分的音符,享受心臟的鼓動,欣賞音樂中的靈魂
264Please respect copyright.PENANAscS1nSxGwK
不要去想些有的沒的,我們要思考如何破解這道謎題才對,小心被多餘的東西引走了思維,鐘錶的倒數正在挑戰我倆的能力,我不敢說沒有被刺激到,始終對方的離間計有點效果,我們的合作有點弱,不過呢,趁最後的倒數,勉強成功了,可喜可賀呢
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjBuSrXA7Go
還有什麼值得開心的事情呢?今天你也終於全極達成了,那刻整個遊戲廳也因你的原始呼叫看過來了,笑死
264Please respect copyright.PENANAOAjvvmBmAW
對了,在商店街的二手店中找到很稀有的維尼兔手工製造套裝,你說有空的話會幫我弄,親手做玩偶,作為我妹妹的生日禮物,這樣她便集齊全個系列了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAWUokEEO6z5
還有,終於有幸遇到《魔女之園》的宣傳活動,拿到安柏的Q版鎖匙扣呢,不過你這麼無恥一人拿三個不是太好吧?雖然對方好像沒發現
264Please respect copyright.PENANALM669RfMea
不過你暗算我加錢加大蔥油餅的詭計,我是知道的,但看在你吃得如此開心的份上,便放過這事一馬吧,對不起錢包,氛圍中盲目的我沒有為你報仇,我還要被牽走了,叫了一杯珍珠奶茶,在錢包身上再插多刀,至於你打開防火門去廁所,我就搞不清楚了,究竟你是單純還是單純愚蠢
264Please respect copyright.PENANAfYiS4tHNzr
不過這樣好像還不錯,缺乏理性而跟從感覺做事,是花了不少雖然,但如果金錢可以買到你的笑容,你在我身旁覺得安心的話,那麼拿住如此記憶為回償的我樂於接受
264Please respect copyright.PENANA7k8YBWrHog
畢竟對不起,我沒有花那麼多時間在你身上
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明明一直以來,你幫我這麼多
264Please respect copyright.PENANAednw1SqU8I
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhlqnw7lX3d
我好想就此沉睡下去
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJBeA69tS6D
264Please respect copyright.PENANAR9RaYQoBEd
「聖誕快樂」
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黃昏的東京駅前,你的綠色袍裙在泛黃的日光下盡見棉質和尼龍的混色,校裙的氣質和那條馬尾十分配襯,你的眼鏡被太陽光打個正著,反射著白光
264Please respect copyright.PENANA9AdcRQmCzA
怎料你的雙眼也閃著亮光,作為泛淚光的少女,我不會如何面對,唯獨是你伸手收下了禮物,欣喜地笑
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbMZLBIXAwq
我記得,那是一套衣服
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtfaCaw47l9
花了幾個月,親手縫製的衣服
264Please respect copyright.PENANAS55i1HMr3O
一套綠色的洋裝禮裙
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《魔女之園》中,愛麗絲的圍裙
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只是,我沒有想到看到你穿上自己的作品,心中不是開心
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而是害怕
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終究到底,那是給花子的禮物
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而不是送給爱麗絲的
264Please respect copyright.PENANArNyF0dws1q
264Please respect copyright.PENANAv8YW5Z7T8G
就這樣,一覺不醒
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFWH2TvpUeS
264Please respect copyright.PENANAsCCNFhGMBR
新學期的第一天,你的座位是空的,學校沒有任何你的蹤影
264Please respect copyright.PENANAw38WBwG2dM
在假期開始後,你沒有聯絡上我,沒有人肯告訴我真相
264Please respect copyright.PENANAukWcJPVknI
那一年開始,你消失了,而我不知道為什麼,難道是討厭我了嗎?我不知道,有段時間,我不敢去思考相關的事情,直至開始下雪的月份來到之前,我只是自己一個人過日
264Please respect copyright.PENANAm1AvVMnv0A
我知道自己除了有你以外,沒有任何朋友可言,唯獨是我沒有真的明白自己是多麼孤單,自己是如何地不存在一樣,在學校裏自己一個人渡日,旁觀大家有各自各的圈子,然而自己不屬於當中之一
264Please respect copyright.PENANAxu7VUiDUCU
昨天回家的路上沒有你的陪伴,但上學時我還是一如既往地等待著你平常會坐上的班次到站,眼見火車離站,我才甘心自己一個回校,雖然在車站裏找不到你,我怕某天,你會突然回來,我怕你找不到我
264Please respect copyright.PENANAvDcyQA1ekd
不過我是知道的,其實自己在給自己藉口,對的,我害怕,我十分害怕,每天去扮傻做些沒意思的東西,裝作你還在我身旁,是因為我不想承認,你已經不在了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQmzqLpf9oi
有天,我不知道犯傻還是怎樣,回神過來,我站在不是學校的車站,我所下車的地方是你所住的小鎮
264Please respect copyright.PENANApc5VUfJrHk
憑僅一次的記憶,走在陌生的路上,我慌張時閉上眼睛,跟隨著你之前的腳步,我幾次想伸手抓住你,但我一張開眼睛,你便不在了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAIjVTb2FgBQ
「不在了」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAW5syOmOCto
你曾住的地方,沒有了你的蹤影,不見你的家人,完全陌生的人家住在我曾認為「熟悉」一詞,應該所歸屬的地址
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPNAq8h8Hv6
你好壞
264Please respect copyright.PENANAqHwOE4nidr
那天晚上,我居然在自己的母親面前哭了,我居然在不怎麼有空回家的媽媽面前,令她擔心了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlk3oXiIDBu
這次,我真的忍不住淚水了,在父母面前像個小孩一樣的長女,只是個麻煩鬼罷了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQEXs8oHUNl
還是說,我也是因為給你太多麻煩,所以你才離我而去嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAl8leEnD16r
現在才說對不起,已經太遲了嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAZuBdtZ0w9z
264Please respect copyright.PENANApuDiR01ZKZ
兒時的小我,只是稚孩一枚
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6J0DjaUx29
天真地請問,「母親我將成為如何?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAkPHDvC6H6y
「未來的我會幸福嗎?還是會一事無成呢?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANA7C8gkLaLsa
媽媽溫柔回笑,如此地說
264Please respect copyright.PENANAXEIU5RqJP7
264Please respect copyright.PENANA626bBcYHFl
媽媽是在我旁邊過生的,星期天早上,在下雨,睡醒後我發現她沒有了呼吸,我把爸爸馬上叫了過來,阿爸他很快便叫了急救車,但到頭來,醫院那邊表示無能為力,因為阿媽不是有病在身,只是自然猝死
264Please respect copyright.PENANA1dJNuZt7Pt
阿媽一直以來身體也很弱,可能是長期在外工作、奔波勞動,令她的身體終於受不住了,默默地於睡夢中離開了我們
264Please respect copyright.PENANAyfSyUZ0Jfj
那時候,阿媽正難得地放假,在那天之前,我們一家人還久違地外出,去家庭聚會了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPBlqQdXb52
那天晚上,我還希望,可以有下次
264Please respect copyright.PENANAavJIT9SYel
我知道有些事情不能逆轉,小孩的我不是傻瓜,好歹深信沒有邏輯,就會得不償失,就會拿苦來辛,但我控制不到
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbAOn8XZhNq
我在醫院那裏鬧脾氣了,不過,事實是不會,不會因為我所希望,而改變「現在」的方向
264Please respect copyright.PENANAEM1v1BXSUy
因為⋯
264Please respect copyright.PENANAKvWsSllFlH
Que Sera sera
264Please respect copyright.PENANArjRHOfYiNa
Whatever will be ,will be
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(會成就之事,終將成為)
264Please respect copyright.PENANANP1RmH0dJi
我告訴自己,我只是一時無法接受
264Please respect copyright.PENANA1AlDA0aGJo
但是心痛的折磨感不是一般的痛
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我撐不住
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我上學也不行了
264Please respect copyright.PENANA460eMKzgjE
遭到情緒支配的時候,我覺得自己的身體不屬於自己似的,我好怕這樣,發現自己無端端流眼淚,無故又發怒,冷靜不了下來,好恨如此不理性的自己
264Please respect copyright.PENANAsFD6thYVmz
我好討厭
264Please respect copyright.PENANAHaKqOHZOii
而不理性的我,又做了些感性行為,將自己困住在自己房間中,足足三天,沒有上學了,無論阿爹怎樣叫我,無論弟妹怎樣叫我也好,我也⋯
264Please respect copyright.PENANAARYUlZuEOg
我不想出去,我不想知道
264Please respect copyright.PENANAiPXUILry4b
我不想這樣子
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我不明白
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我只是⋯想回到之前簡單又平凡的生活
264Please respect copyright.PENANAIm9c4iyHcX
我想媽媽回來我身邊
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但這個房間,已經找不到她了
264Please respect copyright.PENANA4q6UNNuMTW
我好怕
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接下來,我還會失去誰?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAfKOhKI3LJV
太混沌了我的思緒,模糊地憶起那天,要我用一句總結的話
264Please respect copyright.PENANASNn1JxaiKe
我好辛苦,腦袋陷在渾沌的溶液,腦髓像被感染了,發炎似的,頭痛和疲倦,失去精神,最麻煩的就是整個人也沒有了條理、邏輯,不知原因也毫無預兆的各種情緒干擾
264Please respect copyright.PENANAeCya9SSTkV
我討厭這樣
264Please respect copyright.PENANA0eOb69e4cx
被情緒支配的身體不屬於自己,無端端流發狂,冷靜不了下來
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQuqafGdevq
我好討厭,好恨
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3aOLM2Adb2
而不理性的我,又做了些感性行為,把自己丟到一個孤立的情況
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUawf1Pffr2
失去判斷能力的我,一心希望解決這份不適感
264Please respect copyright.PENANAcU3KB3UNgU
我或許是個勤力的學生,但我不是醫生
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3iPLElIXqI
至少,我知道生病要吃藥
264Please respect copyright.PENANAlUulh9hbnI
FM2是藍莓的顏色,掉到水中化為暗紫色
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和那天母親的唇瓣一樣顏色
264Please respect copyright.PENANA0BMeUjtgD9
264Please respect copyright.PENANAfByxXZni3m
Que Sera sera
264Please respect copyright.PENANACSzibx0H6A
會成就之事,終將成為
264Please respect copyright.PENANAT3ISBPSsbX
未來並非一定是我們所願見
264Please respect copyright.PENANA8vJqDJHylC
Que Sera sera
264Please respect copyright.PENANAg324ogtMGW
若然是得到什麼,便會擁有什麼
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPZs7aYhevK
264Please respect copyright.PENANA2P1FEmfsZO
奈落無門
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貧困之因,是被允許的歧視,是被認可的威迫
264Please respect copyright.PENANAnSQEIRD3Hj
記得那時候,我背著妺妹,爸爸他背著弟弟,四人一把傘,所以只能讓我一個,打著一把很辛苦才可以舉起的大傘,父親則是披著那大雨衣,正確來說,是弟弟穿住,然後摟緊其肩,趴在背上
264Please respect copyright.PENANASa5YOwPRBL
四人在城市的某個不起眼的角落,穿梭一片從未到過的地方,街上左右開著一間又一間的老店,沒有大城市的霓虹燈招牌,連燈光立牌也沒有,唯有刻在木版上的店名,小時候,還不會那麼多漢字,不懂讀更不會寫那些看不明白的字
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFKJZYPeTER
我本來,以為這些是花店,我們是在找媽媽最愛的桔梗花,畢竟由花朵織成的立牌,無論到街道前後,什麼地方也見到
264Please respect copyright.PENANAuGSDsGh6bS
在過了石牌坊後的街道,都是白色、綠色、黑色的花,有未見的花苞,更有不認識的東西,比如說,解釋不了作用的長盒子,若然是花店的話,這些是什麼?花盆?
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對,是花盆
264Please respect copyright.PENANADjHbwOqnUl
始終母親的面容像朵鮮花,線條明確,色彩鮮艷,血色雖然是染上去的,唯獨是和之前一樣,合上雙眼,嘴唇放鬆,她在微笑,很漂亮,爸爸的手藝十分厲害,讓她呼吸了,溫柔地進入夢鄉
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在木門後,我偷看到一切
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算是小確幸了,能在這麼快就找到肯接收這生意的人,始終父親頸上的東西,大家看見後也似見災星,紛紛拒之門外
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但有這麼一個老婆婆,就願意了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAvGohwHZgq2
由於是午夜的時候,所以場地那邊幾經轉折,最後也是允許了,給了多於定額的紙幣也好,他們也沒有多收到,只是收下說好的,無奈的神情,生怕那些銀鈔被詛咒了一樣
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbfc81t7TjS
午夜,小孩都睡在沙發上,但我睡不著
264Please respect copyright.PENANA9cXxwwmQpI
我是小孩子,但我不蠢
264Please respect copyright.PENANAClYeAMMBfO
我不多少知道,現在,正發生什麼
264Please respect copyright.PENANALHY89rqRA4
木門後的我,看著身穿西裝的父親,工作後的疲勞,黑眼圈重之又重,頸上的銀項反射著爐火的細光
264Please respect copyright.PENANAi6mucRUXyN
他抬頭,我們交上了視線
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJONy1xUyDg
正在我退後,害怕著之際,木門拉開了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAYRoKRBNur5
父親對著自己,是一對無神的目光,沒有說到任何話,靜默中,伸出了手,摸了摸我的頭
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbaoNdsaTtC
浮在空氣中的文字,我閱讀著
264Please respect copyright.PENANAH9ZEQ3tAIw
我跟了進去
264Please respect copyright.PENANAas2wlbGwFe
唯一光源的爐火,很溫暖
264Please respect copyright.PENANAB219faodFr
房間的正中央,是長條的木盒子
264Please respect copyright.PENANAvrfwHh5JUO
看著母親的身體,在木盒中,躺著
264Please respect copyright.PENANAiKJ5MSHO0h
父親和老婆婆,一起唸著我曾不會的字:「ༀམཎིཔདྨེཧཱུྃ」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAVIVQnOl4oo
一起唸,我抖出聲音
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6aW1pv9ovL
忍住,我唸
264Please respect copyright.PENANAb6RGjRuyOG
「唵嘛呢叭咪吽」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAz7BFyusdh4
無量功德,書經法寶,誦咒三世業障得清淨降除,超脫生死,終究成就
264Please respect copyright.PENANAp3ViSBJU8R
但是腦中的,是母親的歌聲
264Please respect copyright.PENANAyhDGxxgm1q
264Please respect copyright.PENANArTpSdXgeJS
「Que Sera ,sera」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUDjL8XwSqs
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6ayp9iUgK2
我唸不下去了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAHzpOJPAozU
264Please respect copyright.PENANAVEFTZLyk91
「Whatever will be ,will be」
(會成就之事,終將成為)
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFW6yCikQFb
但是我不能停下來
264Please respect copyright.PENANA0902WylGj9
始終我掉下眼淚也好,時間不會回去
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6ADDHkYwkS
「The future's not ours to see」
(未來並非我們能夠預見的事情)
264Please respect copyright.PENANATIXbUZ3nG2
唸咒,能斷無明開智,消災救貧救三世苦難,消貪嗔痴斷輪迴路,親屬得超生,生前種果得證果
264Please respect copyright.PENANACssErLJ74A
可是我真的無法安心下來
264Please respect copyright.PENANAntEj4jXrP8
「Que Sera ,sera」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAP9yfiyye3H
我很害怕
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbrsd2fPiac
唸真言的任何眾生,亦得解脫生死之果因,授菩薩道之德,逢凶化吉、逢難領祥,佳可消滅一切天地火水土人之災之難之危險
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtiWdtrkpGP
264Please respect copyright.PENANA5QZIZQWXBd
「ༀམཎིཔདྨེཧཱུྃ」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAd6VJzNFLov
消除無明
264Please respect copyright.PENANABaHfp7Tc4u
消除無明
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3G9dngn4ot
消除無明
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFH1npcRuIB
「Whatever will be ,will be」
(會成就之事,終將成為)
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJ849DX5pKQ
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFLi0IDmE7x
我消除不了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQbcAyRv8rb
我很害怕
264Please respect copyright.PENANA5tQ8tF8GsD
我不想這樣
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtN9iEb7fSo
求求你
264Please respect copyright.PENANARDW23SBvEA
不要離開我
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhNVIDvz0c9
求求你
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6omTv5Xcr5
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAMT2crQE5S
不要丟下我
264Please respect copyright.PENANAMh9ddtPPFv
264Please respect copyright.PENANAta6Jf2Fvc4
不要走去
264Please respect copyright.PENANAkesEpH6b7L
264Please respect copyright.PENANABgwxkl9A0W
不要走
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFIsD89z1Q7
不要這樣子的情緒 —— 我不想再生病
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtq0Eh3ojOD
我要吃藥
264Please respect copyright.PENANAzXi6nPP92t
我只需要冷靜
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUDZyTrIX43
我只需要⋯在火爐旁休息,喝一杯紫色的水⋯⋯
264Please respect copyright.PENANAOcrzdoWcJw
一切安好
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhbbMVJ5pVh
爐火很溫暖,太溫柔了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQoWLHOYTIX
鼻子未免太酸了
264Please respect copyright.PENANATZwt9RKfd1
時間,不至於那麼少呢
264Please respect copyright.PENANAde3iaaxofB
尤如孩童的美夢
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGeN4t3D17f
264Please respect copyright.PENANAidGZFEMPDz
「爸爸⋯媽媽呢?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwvIs6aj99h
「媽媽⋯」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwMIIDtdWrJ
終究要醒來
264Please respect copyright.PENANAoWxTeMUv6g
「她去了一個更好的地方」
264Please respect copyright.PENANACeU4sSIRa4
終究會察覺
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUbRt3Wm5ak
「是旅行嗎?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANACLiPYRFfUO
要成長了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAphTh6SOaeW
已經不是小孩子
264Please respect copyright.PENANAY1ILbyHkxH
「不是⋯」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPgN9MmrAzd
生理的我是小孩子,但不代表我不知道言語的破壞性
264Please respect copyright.PENANAU3UAG8nyxC
「媽媽在做準備工作,才可以帶我們過去參觀各種嘛」
264Please respect copyright.PENANACgkK4COyHo
「畢竟」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAH9XOHGD3JG
「我説,媽媽她⋯
264Please respect copyright.PENANAYVMPw4DP7Z
264Please respect copyright.PENANA5lx6aUitSh
264Please respect copyright.PENANAXVQwcx43VI
怎會丟下我們?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAgBPu3USmuK
264Please respect copyright.PENANAEclNkMo0vw
Que Sera ,sera
264Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZSHGSFEVO
命運不可逆轉
264Please respect copyright.PENANAj1wygYRZf5
成事之後,終不改變
264Please respect copyright.PENANA5SBBSbR3yt
264Please respect copyright.PENANABDz62ujuQM
264Please respect copyright.PENANAaNFZpBVFB1
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbG46EmkHNQ
謹守考驗心,今夜吹風也是無言之慧
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAUCE5Kqdq8
阿逝孕
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwXSyvOkmyo
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhcZts2sT6A
264Please respect copyright.PENANARWNdEdycJv
264Please respect copyright.PENANArRpO0mIrDw
打工後回家,我見到阿爸,帶了一個不認識的女人回來,我是看不到的,不過我聽到
264Please respect copyright.PENANALBvVH3jrDy
我的房間和父母的房間,只是一牆之隔,在換衣服的時候,我抵不住好奇心,把耳朵貼上熱力較低的牆面,讓攝氏36的體溫在固體上傳導
264Please respect copyright.PENANAWuI7ZYGoLF
女性的聲音和父親的聲音混在一起,女性聲帶較大較粗,嘴型不是本地常見的感覺,至少口音不是,至少聽上去,是英語為母語的國家,至少,這個粒子震動的頻率,我寧願自己暫時失聰
264Please respect copyright.PENANAVDATkqtc1i
在斷章取義的恨要迫使自己打開房門,衝去父親的房間前,我的手,伸展的角度偏移了少許,向右偏
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPBaNWEy59I
我打開了衣櫃門
264Please respect copyright.PENANAELCh8LhvDj
拿出了一條幼繩,和一瓶藥水,一支未開封的針筒
264Please respect copyright.PENANA3JWexkBOfM
和怒氣相對的力度,我束緊手肘,和痛楚相應的劑量,以不應該的熟練手法,打在肉中,在無數的紫點陣圖上增添一個新數值,然而不足夠,我又從摺好的衣物中拿出一包藍莓,濃度作為自變數,以安慰感作為因變量,進行持續了半年的實驗
264Please respect copyright.PENANAyBvoBK4wPH
冒險看看,這次能不能真的一覺不醒
264Please respect copyright.PENANAopAgeaycDH
叄
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmP8i4A8v37
264Please respect copyright.PENANAftlmiyslug
貳
264Please respect copyright.PENANANylpVC2SHr
264Please respect copyright.PENANAErF2nPq6FF
壹
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbRcUIGwn8l
就此沉睡 ——
264Please respect copyright.PENANArunusFKzkP
—— 在這裏,我張開了眼睛
264Please respect copyright.PENANA32xFoKj5rR
「⋯阿爸?」
264Please respect copyright.PENANABY9jRQmQqK
無夢的一覺,睡飽後,身體輕飄飄,清楚感到身體每個部份也是屬於自己,每塊肌肉也是受自己的掌控,我看到的東西,不是我所預料的
264Please respect copyright.PENANAMf8e1U11Us
男性摟緊了我,哭腔中對我道歉
264Please respect copyright.PENANAx85pApJyzL
摸著我的手肘,那些麻麻的針口,自責自己的不足,自己沒有擔當父親的能力
264Please respect copyright.PENANAwH5pwWYilk
那番話,差點弄到我也流淚了,只是藥效還在,我的情緒穩定了下來,我的眼睛仍然乾著
264Please respect copyright.PENANAsRsy8K68re
很可惜地,我忘了他確實說了什麼
264Please respect copyright.PENANA8uqb7BA09R
但我很記得他身上的傷痕,我忘不了血味,女畜的味道,鮮紅的疤痕和眼淚相互交織的畫面,我知道,這是一個自證也可以自立的論點,我這輩子也原諒不了傷害我家人的混帳
264Please respect copyright.PENANAaMdpTcpyVM
是那個女人
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjxSfFCHKJ8
但為什麼?這不是擺明的嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAkKPFmtoAMk
父親正處於最脆弱的階段,一直不被當成人對待
264Please respect copyright.PENANAFUm3yLenlf
我們一家,已經夠不幸了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAxYhu0OIzHr
世界這麼大,為什麼還要特地過來傷害我們呢?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAEeiX7Xn6L0
為什麼⋯
264Please respect copyright.PENANATAlzk2MUuq
我要活在噩夢中?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAgqy5wbgZPE
264Please respect copyright.PENANAfjPLDd4rYN
陰天的下午,阿爸去了應酬,星期日放工後,我收到了電話,是爸爸,他吩咐我幫忙在家中找找看弟妺的身分證明文件,說是找到關係,能把他們送到之前說到的寄宿學校去
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjzsFQWFXGo
抱住牛皮文件夾,我坐車到一個未曾去過的城市:球磨市鎮,一個舊區,我跟著地圖導航走到目的地
264Please respect copyright.PENANAoz5Nbwknlc
一間樓上的中式茶樓
264Please respect copyright.PENANAIIQfNU5bXa
走上樓梯,是討人厭的吵鬧
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJcm8fGbqJ9
麻雀的碰撞聲,酒杯相敲,各男人的大呼大叫,對著電視上的數字號競速興奮著
264Please respect copyright.PENANAHREIfdr3bH
小小的空間,有至少五十人,大多都是中年男人,有外國人,不是日本人的亞洲人,人羣中有幾個擺明不是一般職員的女性,在不舒服的環境下左右顧望,我尋找著父親⋯找到了⋯父親坐了在角落的那台
264Please respect copyright.PENANAxG6PmS8BtE
向不認識的人打招呼,我靜靜地把文件遞給了忙於交涉的爸爸
264Please respect copyright.PENANAdkQY8Vkymv
所以說,我為什麼還坐在這種討厭的地方?是為了陪我父親嗎?好吧,看在有東西吃的份上 ——
264Please respect copyright.PENANAk4f1I0CLhs
咳!咳!噁!
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGvkwUdLjt9
這是什麼肉⋯?!
264Please respect copyright.PENANAYbVKj0uJLX
我仔細地看著象牙筷子上咬了一口的肉,放眼掃瞄桌上的一碟二碟
264Please respect copyright.PENANAcNDCg2ChLn
運用被油煙破壞得七七八八,僅餘的嗅覺,我發現,這麼多的菜式裏頭,沒有常見的牛、豬、羊、雞,更不是素肉,也不是水產
264Please respect copyright.PENANAbrHzVz13h0
肉是臭的
264Please respect copyright.PENANAqt9nMOEdzH
慌張中要離桌而去,卻見一旁的爸爸已經慘遭酒精毒手,一波未平,一波又起,想帶我爸走的時候,他差點吐在自己身上
264Please respect copyright.PENANA5r5tovWt4z
接著呢?因為弄髒了地方,引來場地大人物的不滿,不讓我們走,噁心的人渣還要打我的主意,讓我和他們麻雀,弄些白痴也知道,輸了贏了我也吃虧的玩法,不過完全拒絕的話,大概是斷送我爸的工作生涯吧
264Please respect copyright.PENANA9RCgdKPvb3
所以在冇人知曉的情況下,「冷靜」下來後,我便姑且奉陪了一圈
264Please respect copyright.PENANACENrSV0tpC
混帳的垃圾們還作弊,麻雀枱有暗關,三人對我一個
264Please respect copyright.PENANA9aDRRAFIUP
不過我爸媽生下了一個聰明的女兒,狡猾又惡毒的孩子
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUTVoFK6ndU
運用平時在藥房、醫院偷東西的技巧,我算是成功地混水摸魚,從移形換月換牌,最後聽牌叫雞糊
264Please respect copyright.PENANAoG7Yuj8Dw4
坐台的對面,那個有鬍鬚的吃狗支人,還有面子繼續作弄我,說什麼這樣不算數,所以要我喝什麼烈酒一杯當罰酒,所以「不怎麼飲開」的我就很「不小心」地把酒連痰吐在牠身上了
264Please respect copyright.PENANA2c1vFXjAa9
正確來說,在趁亂逃亡前,我把30多百分比的酒精、唾液和痰往他的臉上,瞄準眼睛噴了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAf72olHwlbi
不好意思呢,鄉下的土味丫頭不懂三從四德,你這丟祖宗面的奴民
264Please respect copyright.PENANAHpcRtDpBif
然後呢,在這時,你最應該做的事情,便是刺痛中閉上眼睛,然後⋯
264Please respect copyright.PENANAm5CfMsRVr9
給我死去
264Please respect copyright.PENANAOLfj4lZehC
264Please respect copyright.PENANAzIqXMVFOqi
「給我死去,你這人渣!」
264Please respect copyright.PENANAE7RcfVjL81
我沒想過如此不尊敬的言語從自己的口衝出
264Please respect copyright.PENANAdwWKpxE2Up
那是説給我爸的話
264Please respect copyright.PENANAeXJ3U0lo0p
因為他「送走」了我的弟妹,說什麼笑,他賣掉了我的弟弟和妹妹
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhmu31wa1Hb
而他還要阻止我,去阻止這一切發生
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmimIWCj2nq
扎針,幫我「冷靜」下來
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtL2v2V9aIR
抱著我,叫我眼白白地目睹他們被拉上貨車
264Please respect copyright.PENANASdJKZUuePG
你在我耳旁說什麼我們無能為力
264Please respect copyright.PENANAdCA5TMtqnf
我說我可以更努力賺錢,甚至比媽媽更強,我還年輕,我還有能力
264Please respect copyright.PENANAcyPm2BVTjY
你辯解說什麼他們會有更好的生活
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGuebYj0iVG
我說這根本是荒謬絕倫的論點,毫無論據的假設
264Please respect copyright.PENANAS1ATnCFHFi
說什麼只是因為⋯用於支付我的學費和生活費
264Please respect copyright.PENANAHVPo1E0hff
我説
264Please respect copyright.PENANAO571tdN0oC
我可以不讀書
264Please respect copyright.PENANAvpnbzuTxM9
我只想
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhVeCLXM53B
我要
264Please respect copyright.PENANA6QBU5HWh3q
我只是想要過得平凡,不用說幸福,我只是想一家人,一起開心,一起堅持
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjB8lMVpDkR
若然害怕承擔,為了你們可以過平凡的生活,我甘願放棄一切
264Please respect copyright.PENANAz1y1CI0UTL
難道我打工不夠努力嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAU20b3sjpxb
難道你不愛他們嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAibrFEmZVkF
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUmuY0DI08B
難道⋯這只是噩夢嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAQuc3t7Kfve
264Please respect copyright.PENANA8HgtTMdAoG
可是我醒不來
264Please respect copyright.PENANAyNcw6bVluo
『因為這是你的命』
264Please respect copyright.PENANArHmVzCV6Th
我又再一次太遲了嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAjYff0wUtDk
『你不懂嗎?』
264Please respect copyright.PENANA93dItNtRnF
『你活該這一切』
264Please respect copyright.PENANAqM4VsQLiDy
我閉上泛淚的眼皮,什麼也看不到
264Please respect copyright.PENANAtVQ95MLg7r
這個世界,根本沒有值得我留戀的地方
264Please respect copyright.PENANAhJMEGRvyP8
264Please respect copyright.PENANAy327uznWCw
264Please respect copyright.PENANA4X0i1IFqBe
我張開眼睛,看著我的仙境
264Please respect copyright.PENANAi2TztMEQhL
那裏人人也開心、快樂,沒有死亡的分離,沒有痛苦的噩夢,大家也開心不過
264Please respect copyright.PENANA41LpOECkR7
兩個禮拜了,自從我看見父親的身體上披著血淋淋的豬皮
264Please respect copyright.PENANAw9AbzOtcyz
爸爸你,很辛苦吧?被當成動物一樣
264Please respect copyright.PENANAJL0QYcRIKE
還記得我小時候,你讀的睡前故事嗎?《屠龍勇士記》
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmMtvZTbxtA
你教我⋯「勇士如果迷失了自己,便會變成了魔龍」
264Please respect copyright.PENANArhLYNepNGd
如今,長期沈浸於酒精的你,是黑色的魔龍,口噴藍焰的怪物
264Please respect copyright.PENANAPnP2RlvDtZ
很辛苦對吧?被魔女束縛的你
264Please respect copyright.PENANAnpMIkqPLlV
那麼,便掙脫吧
264Please respect copyright.PENANAnEBtfnIiyu
成為怪獸,瘋狂起舞
264Please respect copyright.PENANAUB3Iyp8aee
放心的,這不是你的錯,我知道,這只是寄身你身上的怪物造成,我會原諒你的,我會寬恕你
264Please respect copyright.PENANAmwzvSAlsEl
現在,閉上雙眼吧
264Please respect copyright.PENANA732QkznxEA
爸爸,你很快便會和媽媽重逢了
264Please respect copyright.PENANAk6CZClW91M
別誤會,我並不是屠龍勇士
264Please respect copyright.PENANAOX35hBaac8
我只是帶來夢境的少女
264Please respect copyright.PENANAGixlmUfn4F
賜予你安眠的仙境
264Please respect copyright.PENANALlvnozrePY
因為我雙手血淋淋的原因,是我身上,也披著怪物的皮
264Please respect copyright.PENANAH9ShQKamnE
或許在這裏我沒有可以留戀的地方,卻在遙遠的地方,我有一個快樂而不完的夢
264Please respect copyright.PENANAiCDV0YJpiC
請問我可以帶你過去嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAWxHlfXIF3T
你已經很努力了
264Please respect copyright.PENANA7BcGffjClK
但努力並不能解決什麼,你知道嗎?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAa2kWAoqxhM
錯誤的道路,走一百次也是會到不了目的地
264Please respect copyright.PENANAVeLIAPvqWh
所以正解是什麼?
264Please respect copyright.PENANAD0F38zvbpd
跟我來吧
264Please respect copyright.PENANA4cgEBky9dy
跟我唱吧
264Please respect copyright.PENANAAV2zU7iJFH
Que Sera sera
264Please respect copyright.PENANA78yxq0HLe6
What will be , will be
ns3.14.134.193da2