x
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpfEyBSF3x
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH49nG7XQtq
「完好？」現在的她問。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAlX7BG4Fn
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdGdH8kXOb
「無缺？」曾經的他問。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLF18oqPDr
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQCr8z6YlY
很多人說他生活美滿。家境富裕，頭腦聰明，五官英氣，身材高大。聞言他總是假笑，笑對方客氣得過份。奈何對方從未察覺他的笑容雖假，情感卻是真實而強烈的：他的確認為對方很過份。他想要的從不是這種生活，可惜每次對此表示厭棄時，總有人批評他不知足。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca26XejGKc
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQ9lJW64JH
輕嘆一聲，繼續前行。踏踏踏，沙沙沙，聲聲撕心裂肺。像父母的哭罵，令人痛，也令人愧疚不安。無論他們如何呼天搶地，他終究永遠不會回來。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KZL93nQ38
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCUU5iNxlT
遷入新居，展開新生。吃力，困難。已然表達得很清楚，對方還是假裝不知該使用哪個稱謂。有人說不介意，有人說很平常，話題和目光卻只停留在胯下之物。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYjHZX85AWy
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnSxOhjfGmE
無處訴說的孤獨日夜縈繞不散。曾發誓永不後悔，曾以為自己是多麼堅毅勇敢，曾相信世界其實不是那麼單一而絕情……174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMGFqw800p
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBg7YcUQigB
步出公園，拐了幾個街口，來到醫院門前。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTB2Zli0x7P
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPkjnEtuAv
「醫生，早晨。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpH36H7gxI
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6nHtU1NQj
「早晨。近來身體好嗎？」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmvl4FNKGf
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbRMSdU56t
「好……不過……」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk5UA8MO5F
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrpMoKHWnl
「不過甚麼？」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwDFmtcQin
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlpKlD3NJ9
「我想再做手術。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVSZwUMs3v
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUaoYhYNhm
「為甚麼？」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsR6AmEQo4
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJwveHQFNy
「不適應現在的生活。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXjKP3zkgm
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUczCOUn1B6
「不適應身體的變化或是有其他困難？」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBLvCp8alE
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQKJAzebKo
「是生活上的困難……其實我很滿意現在的身體，我覺得這才是真正的自己！過往的我根本不是我！可惜旁人都不是這麼認為……」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ740nrUYshe
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6dx2gxExF
「所以你想要回以前的性別？」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaHJWfyCLm
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo32Vqw00UX
「不——我是不想要任何性別。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxig9AvIrb
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLUjSLmvBw
「噢……抱歉我還未能捕捉到你的思路。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJbirodt0c
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1EmpvZ8V3
「這些日子，我遇到的問題大都源於旁人無法定徹底認同我是男或女。如果我沒有特定性別，可以在『男』、『女』、『跨性別』、『無性別』幾個類別之間遊走，可能會更自由！」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySfMj1cxN8
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVC6aPyPsR
「依我看來，你再次做手術之後，將要面對的問題會更多更嚴重。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gKo9rLx1c
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mMhJJ47rc
「我理解你的意思，但我還是想要放手一搏——我堅信每次改變都會帶來新的可能、新的希望。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDMCQ6vuWMk
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPFb8qliPA
「既然你堅持，我會按程序寫信轉介你去心理輔導部門作專業評估。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRJgzywAoL
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuHMRQe3sA
「謝謝你。」174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKllcHvoNO1
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqCBBxkIVr
跟醫生多聊一會後，她步出醫院，再次走經公園。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQCmgaGMFZ
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH49e1vbbd
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。她慢步於公園大道，有意無意踏在枯葉上。沙沙沙，聽來已然粉身碎骨，看來完好無缺。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDntDiclnT6
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOjWE1fwwx
「以前未完好。」現在的她說。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qRiOTS0gP
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgsjAIz8vV
「將來會無缺。」曾經的他說。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehzxmYBqRx
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxEoihS6oK
她笑了，笑自己傻，笑自己依然沉浸在幻想世界當中，相信自己的人生將來一定會變得完好無缺。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWt1DfH7h7N
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7uXYugRw4
明知無人能斷言明天一定會更好。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCK1Zsfhsd
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDBSbVEHlR6
奈何人總需要一個努力的原因、一個繼續活下去的原因。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKPhykdn3U
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BWCjOo5kT
那個原因名為「希望」。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qvfVv0tWZ
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoMLcd5wdq
「我定要繼續努力。」現在的她說。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuapbKBJyA
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIKqg0vy4W
「好好活下去吧。」曾經的他說。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx8sigK8iGP
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp1764YZd0
秋意綿綿，涼風颯颯，樹梢偶爾掉下幾片黃。174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6Qyd0mRSA
174Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJl4P4kossj
她慢步於公園大道，放眼欣賞沿路風景，不再留意地上的枯葉。
註：此篇另收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》
ns3.18.105.157da2
