我經常做光怪陸離的夢。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshqc61mBCM
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZTqHNsXuYb
例如上一秒我可能在一大片人群以及鎂光燈下演講和嗚咽、下一秒在地鐵站中被絕種多年的肉食恐龍襲擊然後狂奔。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutcaz03vlM
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ46NL7YEbmR
或者本來身處羅浮宮裡遇見Taylor Swift和她的新男友兼且歌詞藍本，一眨眼後就遠在東京的Jazz酒吧和村上春樹對賭大話骰。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhBRsZMxjT
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqaUwAmwUd
當然大學二年級的我還是會做很青春期分泌主導的夢，比如與前女友或者性感的女同學在布吉的別墅瘋狂做愛。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGDMGBRNM9
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZVZwZgvUu
現實中莫講是別墅並不存在，布吉在疫症蔓延時根本遙不可及。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWNL1vwoVL
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0vjCiKtfk
這些夢雖然有趣，但可能因為太不真實，要區分夢境和現實並沒有太難。倒是昨天晚上，我造了一個匪夷所思但真實感極強的夢。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrUHqX4TKe
在夢中我遇見了一隻黑色的貓，牠比176的我還要高一點，拿著木造的權仗，戴黃金的頸圈，像人一樣站着。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdwZNrGwO3
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6inBkXXBi
強要比喻的話，我會說牠跟古埃及文明的貓神長得有幾分像。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtaihu7wnc
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ThI1Dumn1
「人類，你有想要實現的願望嗎？」貓神用低沉的聲線說，牠大概是一個男性。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3jgmFrDyO
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLipIb3Ee75
「我啊？」我望望四周，不見有其他人類，指着自己問。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx5iAhcP3QP
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEQgeHV3r5
「對。」貓神用更低沉的聲線說。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLUq4HA8lb
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs8VpExFTW
「啊…咁益我？」我有點迷惘以及搞不清狀況。平常這個時候我大概會意識到自己在發夢，但這次我居然有點覺得這個貓神是實實在在的出現在我面前。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rgv5gV4ZW
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCFbeAykBQ
對了！358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyew9dKgszg
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkafrrfjX5V
大概是因為氣味。正常的夢都是沒有氣味的，但這個夢有一股強烈的味道…到底是甚麼味道？有點像小時候去西九龍中心明將壽司內會聞到的味道，腥臭卻異常吸引。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJbJIfMhVg
「怎麼了，阿日，沒有想實現的願望嗎？」貓神問，聲音變得更更低沉了。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9blnuGglRv
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqmD5wwwxj
阿日是我的名字。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQf2F8IeXB
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04JJIrsbQR
「願望唔係無…但你係咪一定要用書面語講野？」我抓抓頭問，再一次懷疑到底這是夢境還是現實。如果是現實的話，整個設定未免太中二病了吧？還有為什麼牠會知道我的名字？358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jpj4ulegU
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJc1zU6mH9k
「所以我用口語說話就是你的最大願望嗎？」貓神用百萬富翁裡陳啓泰「最後答案？」似的語氣反問我。我並沒有看過陳啓泰的百萬富翁，但「我讀drama㗎」陳芷青經典之作卻在成長過程看過上千次。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9ogy6LSfM
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhIjCP4x61
「不是！不是！」我連忙答。怎麼我也變成了用書面語說話的怪人？358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlrECwUN4A
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41mKd02Hc7
「我既願望…嗯…」世界和平實在太虛偽，變成全世界最有錢這種事實在太沒挑戰性。心想事成這種願望太空泛。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIdgDzhKVZ
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCjebSLX8pH
神貓降生在我面前，我得想一個對世界有意義的願望，不然就實在是太窩囊了。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzv4evf2Gl
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9887U9HCf0
快要到聖誕節…這個節日實在太可惡。好！我決定好了！358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7FyIF8yBLu
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFK0zNNqE4
「我聖誕節想同女神一齊過！一齊返屋企！」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEvzMQRzwT
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQx75374rV
「很好，我可以幫你實現願望。請問你的女神是誰？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMTAYlA1PI
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpqnIZDQRo
「住我屋企隔離既敏青。」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zZ37H2kGY
敏青是我高中的暗戀對象。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xarefoXsR
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV87UNXhKDA
女神成績很好，公開試前一直替我補習，可惜還沒有告訴她我的心意，我們便進入了不同的大學。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbD2LsHt1X
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpNlJbDrHB
當然我沒有辜負她的努力幫忙，我和敏青分別進了兩大，她是中文大學的學生，我則進了香港大學持續進修學院。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiB5dxt55jz
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiNJrZBE4J
因為是鄰居的關係，事實上我自小便認識她。我們住在元朗的小區，中學就在可步行的距離。高中前的敏青外表還是一個很普通的女生，但中四拔掉眼鏡，留黑長髮的她，加上溫柔樂天的性格，開始成為學校男生瘋狂追捧的對象。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVqJzCDibt
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Fc5VuAA46
我也在差不多的時候為她著迷，甚至有點後悔沒有及早追求她。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaYMhTQyge
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOePbG0Wzjd
以我所知，中學時期因為學業和家規，她基本上都拒絕了這些狂蜂浪蝶的追求，亦乖乖的在十時前回家，十二時前睡覺。但進了大學後，喜歡她的人就更多了，聽說有追求者成功了，女神也已經變成別人的女朋友。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NTKIN2mtZ
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVS9MXYOEf
「很好，你的願望就是『聖誕節與敏青一起過，然後一同回家。』，對吧？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXINz8wqynU
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeYFjKga8v
貓神刻意低沉的聲音有點像老虎低吟，把我拉回現實（或者夢境）。我想起自己小時候還沒有長喉核時，為了不讓別人覺得我是女生，花了很多時間學習聲線壓低的方法。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSWedM48Fo
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsm6u5lqiv
「等等！」我叫。「如果只係聖誕咁未得一日？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHt0jxjagiU
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpX1vGpOHS
「是的。」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Gl93Enz77
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgmt4qY3Km
「咁除夕倒數呢咁？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhIXBotAZ7
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFZlZChnYM
「你的願望不能確保。」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILxIily2Kg
「咁唔得，咁我改一下…我想願望係『聖誕與敏青一同回家，然後每日與敏青一起過。』」我說。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡee4BJmJiJU
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FWXJwePlu
「很好，讓我改一下咒語。『聖誕與…』」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0NGPZsn6h
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNdValbqOi
「等等等，如果我個願望咁樣咪即係好似迫女神鍾意我同埋同我一齊咁樣？我唔想強迫佢嘅意願…」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0uy4JnqML
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPU6cQ3iMj
「的確是強迫啊。」貓神說，這次沒有那麼低沉。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjSl5p0h76
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrsZcpfPaj
「咁我改一下我個願望。我個願望係想女神都鍾意我，咁樣咪唔係強迫囉！」我沾沾自喜。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH13bR902P
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrVyaBqFu5
「好。最後答案？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxitWctc8X
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXjdXmdqrD
「無錯…」我有點猶豫。「啊！等陣！」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWe8dlQRYdU
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVBis1hwKy
「又點呀！！！」貓神暴怒地呼叫，聲調卻變得高起來，看來牠也像青春期的我一樣在刻意壓低聲線。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMMEGTy2EDO
「原來你識講口語…」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2SrcZTZ7qC
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXbRlnu5w4Z
「改夠未呀煩膠？」貓神大力用權杖撞落地上，我感覺到地面澎澎作響。我有點出奇貓神也懂得「煩膠」這個用語，貓界也有兩登嗎？358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrP8MmYDjgp
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hyYD8OVeU
「今次真係最後…」我說，「如果你個咒語搞到我變咗女仔，咁我去咗女神屋企咪英雄無用武之地，所以我繼續要係男仔，而且每晚都要同女神一齊瞓！」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXf7EHPd738
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWyaRBSX8gs
「『煩膠阿日由聖誕開始將會與女神敏青同居、同睡。其間敏青將會視阿日為最愛，而阿日將保持雄性身份。』，此乃第一個願望，未許之願還剩兩個。貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓貓…」貓神再次壓低聲線，用力念着咒語。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVKWu2zqRg
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY70XBHDxz
「貓貓貓貓貓貓？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDistUuvE3p
「雄性？點解係用雄性呢個字唔係用男仔？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKIJrihp3mH
「原來仲有兩個願望？」358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBUPBNizqv
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKQczfVRdP
很多問題浮在我的腦海，我嘗試大聲叫出來，卻有如黑洞一樣的力量在拉扯着我的身體以及腦袋，然後把我的聲線完全給進無底深潭內。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRY71aY3lNY
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ66tK6SoqW
四肢好像沒有辦法發力一樣，心臟停止跳動，身體各個器官都出現前所未見的劇痛，感覺就像貓神走進了我的身體內，然後用權仗把我的世界劃破再重新裝坎。就像遇見了死神一樣，卻又突然被賦予重生的感覺。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Db1MeSRgx
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvyf5gthtz
如果還有兩個願望的話，我寧願不許，也絕對不想再經歷兩次這種痛楚…358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUcdKq2tHPz
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMeGV1NA4q
我在睡夢中醒來。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9yJH9SLYN
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf1rATfvuK
我突然想起，那股在剛才那個夢境以及名將壽司中出現過的香味是什麼。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEImp2e0Xd
358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnJkDkHpNO
是過期罐頭裏的吞拿魚。358Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Pq0Tw20n9
