致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe06Z3cOqMZ
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前提，是特殊情況之下299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAOAcz8pyy
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpNshSw0HV
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大概299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0j7Fg34yu
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP4ZLBoqia
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd80t3m3mJk
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「⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrUVEPCbED
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ328Ocq319l
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVWCT2hlSWR
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndzR9as6mT
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uvEOu3vbS
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不良日常性時候299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08ZBi4r0gc
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zAhRGezAC
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaf8CuMhG0X
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXDod18o5F
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hQeocfykK
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJcjgpux31o
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQsPc1iGey
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII815A8Erx
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAMPkz0vqJa
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNDseVIyym
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPmD3JZdBE
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「呀！來了、來了！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXj2EO4L1SE
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「走啊～」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyj1kcBSmp
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7crl246IU0
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHT8aY4jx5
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他299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDouz9R67l
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「又被欺負了嗎？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9aSmNNaS0
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSWTzcjD0MK
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVCIgVnsod
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡji8X0bflc7
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7wN98TsN5
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkgPvFvBvx
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⋯⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchekTlwH43
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怎也好呢299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzxQjCaVpC
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「⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUMR2bSruB
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaGlETbn43H
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkjuoFrFABa
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—— 咔 ——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8cbVjpuW7
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⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnChv5jBCP
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⋯⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOmNTrX0Ov
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv79DRQlvWH
「嗚⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIby4q1vhhc
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPoPTM8z1cQ
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEv1fkcjt7B
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuODG7FRM6q
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「啊？！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHp2oBsf3uJ
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—— 啪噹 ——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjTKtKQwES
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdEfC29gIJ
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jeInJ9ix8
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她一樣299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFXZbg6wBD
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvELps7VJl
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0EHI2rjnr
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「對不起！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxDdvJGv72
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLeASBuqnA
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「來」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQHvYmP50u
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「⋯謝謝」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNuzVngY4I
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3tHyBcwH8
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjkIlnWam3
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLgYesqkXy
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3yXOFX9Iq
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「那個，水無月？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8FzzrXMqC
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「怎麼了？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtAwCVJ6Pw
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN14tRCCCeh
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各種299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1RWoczrKE
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRe22eW6r9p
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaGjXhWw6j
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且只能回味299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzblPFuVCn9
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「回來了嗎，島見？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3R4EWYkw7
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxWBzVDiJM
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKNVNvXSlGQ
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKHfwxS5oO
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「媽媽⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf6dTqgFaX
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「⋯⋯是的？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKraLrIgIJ
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FzJogBhkk
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oUNGZqaZ8
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL64wzey63n
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV5oIUkOxiy
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呢299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvsdPKhqds
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEu6hyl2hg
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxZ1u2K3K6
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7z9KOeBMsO
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「欸？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40XcRQydft
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3pDhlrBsJ
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「這樣嗎⋯？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckRsU8lyI4
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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逐漸自滿起來299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsYYvqQJTc
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「生日快樂！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEp67bgI5wY
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ3BSWrCua
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太過成功才使人後悔啊299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTYH9R3TEu
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYSY2Jg6GS
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「⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DCalcDG4s
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—— 噗 ——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstpsnOtPMf
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「喜歡」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wXz6wcBDj
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8izudU4eU
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如果⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiMhsYJ8l2
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa67AbJHtDW
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來得太突然了，去得太突然299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXV0vD2CEkI
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「什麼？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtGdMn8XiW
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi8kI1UIMq
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlufiRlHbRG
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3AGAX2S6U
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB5XGH9yQe
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「⋯對不起⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctQYKK2M3a
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對不起有什麼用？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzoQ5FeJ4o
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道歉又有什麼用？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizIKbhXQFS
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卻299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnETQ3KKjb
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMP97RGSYWd
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要説再見了嗎？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzclzjEwMK
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我不想299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNn4QkNYoiN
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jMTIFPqi0
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizf8SZLwjd
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我不想那樣子299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWfmTbpnJV
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOSNb5TksS
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRh2M1UzSez
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不在這般的前半生之後299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxBXDmRJe58
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⋯⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxEF5dwzN8
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無論如何，日子倒是來了299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUdzvSWqYo
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最後的笑容，就在當刻299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrj4d3uECpP
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcp8dIn40A5
299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8apjMh1E4我不接受299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vGdON4GLz
299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3zHFV8e8c我不接受299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLJ2tXgY6Q
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—— 啾 ——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jw4emu7Vl
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我不接受299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVqFvlKjuH
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「賀羽⋯？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAp6vsjiz4
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—— 啾 ——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNHgkXXp6S
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtfc4fma9j
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDSrGwN5Ug
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我不接受這樣的結果299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKPg8swo3g
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhRr0Q0rJJ
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRfOZaoxlS
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PsNN9nUSe
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我的本性299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPCr8e5UBk2
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuCGGnuIUy
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—— 啪 ——299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysTLcSQNoN
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「給我閉嘴」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Gh38Th4Ab
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3d0k4YJoAv
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我終究只是野獸而已呢299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08crTafnAY
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiwWg8YmXr
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHImZ0vcsx
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而作為人形野獸真的該死299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqt0RTsNAO
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如此痛苦也是活該299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaFwYiYtwC
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忘記不能也是299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBp6Psr7C3
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X81QN07Nw
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSA3ZBB0a0E
「張開口！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43FDxAsTli
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbUde6ow34
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發現了嗎？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpjo7JttuQD
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDq2cLtyst
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl69MgWNqp5
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzszs9VJBG
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「為什麼⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfDMVmdhtl
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我所嚮往的299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkAIa95KZm
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所謂的299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBTRNzPQTG
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「正常」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NzecVPe9F
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純粹是個謊言299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJioVN3jUJp
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m7VYtNgFL
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFsABoV5g7
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⋯⋯299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZ4IaGAX4a
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所以說，我是異類嗎？299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRg4wSfLt7
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「⋯⋯再見了」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoYleouRGx
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當然299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzzY1wl7X0
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKYKP6J3aD
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ505qSvVEaj
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazseHu101q
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「嘿⋯」299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ8jnTp41d
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自討而已299Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH3L78vhcv2
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns18.216.31.88da2
