致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3Ryg0VJk0
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前提，是特殊情況之下301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGATUtAImh5
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPQZevehoi
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大概301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWAbRZBWtKV
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVJ43AbGgw
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqljeBZIUqM
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「⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvSsq2eXd3
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fCowJal8u
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnURk5ZVyZs
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwZC002U9q
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BBvPHkhXR
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不良日常性時候301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnAvtuEVfaA
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfXaTp5Rek
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJsni1eo18y
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfXZvOBshL
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMFqq3BTkG
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡctAPSwAFIU
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3KiP7eowi
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalTSKO1M8K
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58OsWCRObs
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYXpCMtYcM
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TE6Jt3rBg
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「呀！來了、來了！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCShdLGslsc
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「走啊～」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhNVTey5qMT
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8gMtFc9YQ
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaL8p8Glgr
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他301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OuiZU3mYJ
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「又被欺負了嗎？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeneA3NvQg8
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFskgAdRID
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGo5EAKFa9
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLG5pnS0JB
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0VjssYrD7
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSI0pOGzAf3
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⋯⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCs6VyBQhnk
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怎也好呢301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1gfOp7mcc
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「⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZmrDrlMJh
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR42OKD9C06
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGJ6p3pIjL
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—— 咔 ——301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSSnxYYqjD
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⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjIaYpk1ub
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⋯⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVifVS6X1J
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh9avCw1Da
「嗚⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaOxepm0Pt
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJKFRZGTzPd
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRFPkpBQuw
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAuaQtykL5
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「啊？！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKC4YgtPeC
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—— 啪噹 ——301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1R025s9O4y
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGwsatUsn6
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWrVqaW1GE
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她一樣301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVEXAXMWmd
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgut7eoxwTr
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpktPEQYld
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「對不起！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioHoIchktw
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLVLrOYsHt
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「來」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6sUD2H2iH
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「⋯謝謝」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO6E9e9etT
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqK2AibEgc
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U1SJp6OEz
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKmxj5BEYi
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxucgCvmVCo
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「那個，水無月？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1HH6dAMbak
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「怎麼了？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIuVWgAVuYB
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIXPF8EnMbO
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各種301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBwgKI3dcA
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PBDNtOkOM
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgF5QBoXlZ
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且只能回味301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkh9ltNcQx
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「回來了嗎，島見？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRoskacQLJV
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuMDq3s15x
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAROIbMDyW
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7YDbw7jA0
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「媽媽⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KMtPoPrXh
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「⋯⋯是的？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BjYHyRrve
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPutOSs8ut2
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPGWKrgBo9
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9YfUAjom7
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S5mdVkCYe
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呢301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAYBcfDFZ6
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYIijmF8MK
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdOz2DfkdF
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiF7khagt2A
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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「生日快樂！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFeXRdp1LT
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太過成功才使人後悔啊301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqZKCY70J1
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8PV2elHV8
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如果⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMJLSPdjXo
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ32ffZoKg11
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來得太突然了，去得太突然301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTsi5ToASpX
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2uy1fCUz8
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hgSWx8s1y
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m5Bz16ahq
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道歉又有什麼用？301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu79GavnIbr
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卻301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuKVOmuMMm
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xleCfCHZj
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要説再見了嗎？301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P6PNWK2mO
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我不想301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjXkLhCaFoo
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgc8yVj17h
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXD4YsuvJB
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我不想那樣子301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbCB86I7kg
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz16Q49k0Vs
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQlRdRhyPb
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不在這般的前半生之後301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzw4QV5BFMp
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⋯⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZb4MwIO3jj
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無論如何，日子倒是來了301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWqu5Yb1FM
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最後的笑容，就在當刻301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSanVxckEmk
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33a36GHJNN
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—— 啾 ——301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0MpMjFUNe
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我不接受301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh61BXXQd2i
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「賀羽⋯？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZ513eqVgt
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—— 啾 ——301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFSWAXU69i
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Fj3BHeHys
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLA8Ttw5Oo
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我不接受這樣的結果301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2q9NgIV8K
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2H4h9mDyf
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZTSZXgyJR
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzcj4lzEHY
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我的本性301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiEGIhUx5F
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAS4Xzm50l
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—— 啪 ——301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AyGfitCvV
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「給我閉嘴」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdypZdrDnid
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbutJxM7ZC
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我終究只是野獸而已呢301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1frYgpxwfX
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMn9vZc9KXP
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qYSPO9usb
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而作為人形野獸真的該死301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IKlJ0Y4S4
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如此痛苦也是活該301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Az63XjNzX
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忘記不能也是301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlFUMHDwE39
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd2f5CMj29
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqORJXuyuo
「張開口！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTd8d4w3Qgl
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCFlJaZzsgM
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發現了嗎？301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjZ5GTi4PT
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ME9QtAgIi
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0R26XGE2V
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RquOmnUAp
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「為什麼⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgyyag46OoD
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我所嚮往的301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjANgQcEBtb
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所謂的301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfK7UVWB4UC
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「正常」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUHzc1JC9g
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純粹是個謊言301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqkqUEe1ceF
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XHAVZWIyS
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4EQtEjhiUK
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⋯⋯301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbprvIySYP
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所以說，我是異類嗎？301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgx7oGRamS
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「⋯⋯再見了」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiA2G8oc43z
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當然301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgZXInRNex
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAksPEgHsp4
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiPiYBKxM3E
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mgulc6ENm
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「嘿⋯」301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi20Ine6RjC
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自討而已301Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEhyOHYD1k
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
ns18.188.23.45da2
