我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（已完結） - 一百八十三點五

一百八十三點五

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（謝珮嘉視角）

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我響洗手間洗一洗好自己既面，再望住鏡中既自己。

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眼腫腫、一臉憔悴。

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…

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我究竟係幾時開始變到咁既呢？

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…

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副社長講得啱。

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發生左咁多事，我係時候要振作起黎。

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如果連自己都唔愛惜自己，仲邊會有人愛惜我？阿邦仲點會有可能返黎？

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唔止講飲酒，仲包括用性愛黎麻醉自己…

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我諗…

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我要向余正熙道歉。

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一諗到熙熙，我又開始有啲發熱…

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唔得，我要趁自己仲理智、仲未對熙熙動真感情既時候完結左呢件事。

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為自己、為熙熙，甚至為淇淇，咁既決定係最好既。

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可能佢地真係未開始，但淇淇個傻妹應該係鍾意熙熙既，唔可以因為我既存在而破壞佢地。

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只係…不過佢響性愛方面好熟手…希望佢唔係一個壞人…

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不過佢對人咁溫柔，真係拍拖既話應該會係個好男友。

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每個人都有過去架喇，唔好深究咁多了。

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我再洗多次面冷靜自己，再拍一拍自己塊面，同自己講：「謝珮嘉，妳由今日開始要好好咁生活落去！」

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洗完面之後，我返去課室，準備執埋書包就返屋企。

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咦？

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果個chok晒pose挨響4E門口既係…

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熙熙？

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啱喇。

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我本身都想聽日搵佢，而家咁樣啱啱好。

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我地大家都心知肚明大家想講咩，於是我提議好似幫熙熙補習果陣咁搵一間冇人用既班房，至少唔駛驚比人聽到我地既對話。

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一路搵課室既同時，我亦都不自禁咁諗返起尋晚發生既事。

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熙熙第二次醉左之後發生既事。

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…

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我求其著左件Tee，就留低熙熙響房，自己行出廳，戰戰兢兢咁拎起個電話，打比副社長…

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嘟…嘟…

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估唔到響唔夠兩下即刻有人接聽。

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「喂！」電話入面傳黎既，係一把焦急既聲音。

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我認得係副社長既。

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「副社長…」我索左下鼻：「我係嘉嘉…」

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「妳係…嘉嘉？」電話另一邊傳黎副社長驚奇既聲音。

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「係…」

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「咁夜打比我既？」副社長問。

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「係…」我深呼吸一下，道：「我有啲野想同妳講。」

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「唔好意思呀嘉嘉。」副社長儘量調整佢既語氣，去掩飾佢焦急既心情，只係唔太成功：「但我而家有啲事…唔係幾得閒…」

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醜婦終需見家翁。

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我再用力深呼吸一下，問道：「妳係咪搵緊熙熙？」

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「下？」副社長好愕然，但旋即又問：「淇淇有問埋妳？」

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「唔係。」我回答：「佢而家響我屋企，飲醉左酒。」

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「下！」副社長再掩飾唔到佢焦急既語氣，同平時既佢完全係兩個人：「響妳屋企？」

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「係…」

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「點解架？發生左咩事？佢而家冇事吖嘛？」副社長連珠發砲。

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睇黎副社長真係好關心熙熙…

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於是我將我地所發生既事揀重點咁講左。

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當然，有好多野（包括同熙熙做…）係冇講到，我只係話熙熙陪我傾心事，我要佢陪我飲酒，佢就醉到而家，而我都只係啱啱醒。

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「妳比多次妳地址我，我而家即刻過黎。」副社長聽到熙熙冇事都稍為冷靜落黎。

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我望住訓左響床上面眼睛半開合既熙熙，又好氣又好笑。

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呢個熙熙，話要再飲多次醉酒，先唔會令一陣間黎既副社長起疑喎。

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不過佢酒量真係好淺，飲左一罐已經醉左…

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之後我再拍佢訓，就好似電視劇啲媽咪拍佢地啲小朋友訓咁。

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其實又點會想像得到，呢個訓到成個小朋友咁既中二男仔，啱啱響床上面係咁勇猛既？

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唉。

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做正經野先。

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我著返好衫褲，再幫熙熙蓋好被，再默默咁望住佢。

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佢其實都真係好好人，至少今次係佢主動黎搵我…開解我…

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從副社長既語氣去睇，佢真係好關心熙熙。曾經何時，阿邦對我都係咁著緊…

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佢係由幾時開始…

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一諗到呢度，眼淚又情不自禁咁不斷流出黎…

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唔知過左幾耐，我聽到廳既大門傳來門鐘聲，於是我抹一抹掛響面上既眼淚，整理好心情，再起身行出廳開門。

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我一打開門，副社長已經焦急咁衝入黎問：「熙熙呢？」

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我指一指我房門：「佢仲未起身，我抱左佢入房，響我張床上面休息。」

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副社長聽完之後鬆一口氣，再環視大廳地上面所有啤酒空罐皺起眉頭，之後好嚴厲用好重既語氣大聲講：「點解妳會比佢飲酒架？妳知唔知佢從來未飲過酒架？妳同佢都未成年架！仲要飲咁多飲到兩個都醉晒！」

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我從來冇見過副社長咁惡，諗起呢幾個星期發生既事，由懷疑阿邦同穎琳一齊、到阿邦同我講分手，再到係咁飲酒飲到同自己既補習學生發生關係…

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諗到呢度，啱啱好唔容易止住淚水又再缺堤而出…

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好痛苦…

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點解做人會咁痛苦？

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我掩住面喊喊下跪埋響地上面…

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而呢個時候…

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有一雙溫暖既雙手，好溫柔咁攬住我…

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好溫暖…

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「對唔住…」副社長又回復返佢溫柔既聲音：「我一時都醒唔起，其實妳都受左好多委屈…」

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聽到副社長溫柔既聲音，我痛哭得更犀利了…

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「喊出黎會舒服啲架。」副社長輕輕拍我背脊：「呢幾日我都想搵妳傾下架喇，不過搵妳唔到…」

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我繼續挨響副社長膊頭痛哭，淚水沾滿佢件衫。

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喊左一陣，感覺舒服得多，我先抬頭望住副社長：「對唔住…」

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今次副社長溫柔一笑，道：「我知妳失戀係好唔開心，但妳都要知道，其實仲有好多人關心妳架。」

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我心入面就好似流過一陣暖流咁點點頭。

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「如果妳願意既，我好樂意聽妳傾訴。」副社長柔聲地道。

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聽到副社長咁講，我又忍唔住喊住咁講晒成件事出黎。

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「嗯…我明白妳好痛苦，比一個自己咁愛既人背叛。」副社長溫柔地道：「不過妳比自己喊埋呢一次好喇。」再指一指地上面既空罐：「妳都放縱左自己咁耐，係時候要堅強振作，再一次企返起身。」

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我點點頭。

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搵左個可靠既人傾訴，心中雖然仲係痛苦，但已經輕鬆左唔少。

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其實…

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係好過飲醉既…

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「係呢…」我醒起一事，問：「副社長妳知我…我…失戀既？」

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「妳要多謝熙熙喇。」副社長微微一笑：「佢見妳失左戀好唔開心，所以同我講過，希望我可以開解下妳。」

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…

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…

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估唔到…

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呢個熙熙…都有咁溫柔既一面…

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我啱啱…仲對一片好意開解我既佢出手…

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真係好慚愧…

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但…

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啱啱又真係…好舒服…

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好矛盾…

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「唔駛咁既樣喎，下次妳要做返個大姐姐既好榜樣喇，好嗎？」副社長柔聲道。

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「嗯。」

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「黎喇，我幫妳手執好間屋先喇，妳一個人好難執架。」

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「點可以再麻煩妳…」我非常唔好意思。

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「唔麻煩。」副社長笑道。

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「係呢，有關同熙熙補習果度…」

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我決定了。

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趁感情未深，要黎個了斷。

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