與外表看起來真的很痛苦時相較,反倒是旁人看來表現得朝氣篷勃時,存在於本人內在的悲哀才更加的深沉,這就是所謂的人類吶。329Please respect copyright.PENANA1A5ws3Cddl
《瀕死之眼》- 東野圭吾
碰——329Please respect copyright.PENANAswIaXp7pUz
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朴成浩雙手抓住籃球,使勁地把球垂直往地面擲去﹔在籃球往地面彈起,準備再度落地的瞬間,在成浩附近的許俊赫躍起,一記旋踢把球踢向遠處的牆上,發出響亮的「噗嗵」聲——今晚,俊赫約了學弟成浩到南園方高中附近的公共球場練習,除了成浩切磋球技,也順便依對方的意思,教一下「踢功」。329Please respect copyright.PENANA1hNTI3W9aV
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自從他被人襲擊之後,已經很久沒有好好做運動舒展一下,出一身汗了。329Please respect copyright.PENANAcCiVGPeXm0
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看着被他踢飛後回彈的籃球,學弟成浩飛快把球接回來,再跑回到俊赫的身邊:「哇……哥,你剛才那動作會不會太帥了啦?」成浩拍動籃球,邊對他如此說,「你是怎麼辦到的啊?」接着成浩再度把籃球往地面用力擲去,想學俊赫那樣把球給踢飛。329Please respect copyright.PENANATJ9xBoEJrL
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只是成浩沒踢到球,他的腳尖卻差那麼丁點踢到已經退後數步的俊赫。329Please respect copyright.PENANAgWh27wsWBe
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所幸的是俊赫反應夠快,及時跳開躲過:「嚇死我,你給我當心點啊!」329Please respect copyright.PENANAxwGrdAgcP7
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「好難啊!」329Please respect copyright.PENANA5QMSuMW1Fo
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「你還是找個『拳擊球』安在房間裡,自己在家好好練吧? 哎喲……」俊赫不停搖頭,雙腳則往球場的出口走去。329Please respect copyright.PENANAeufzfE4Utu
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「哥,你這是去哪裡?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAPtYZI8e5te
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「找我今天的晚餐!」329Please respect copyright.PENANARyZvqkUqrT
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俊赫跟學弟成浩經過多間食肆,最後兩人決定到連鎖的快餐店解決晚餐問題﹔他選擇好自己「潛艇堡」的材料後,便走開尋找座位方便兩個人坐下來用餐,由成浩到櫃台點餐。晚上時段快餐店人流量不算多,也沒多少人排隊點餐付款,成浩這小子點完餐還守在櫃台那裡一段時間,收銀員是認識的人嗎——坐在位子上的俊赫因為無聊,沒忍住觀察了起來。329Please respect copyright.PENANAjsG3UO8zcw
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不過看收銀小妹的表情,似乎兩人的關係不怎樣啊?329Please respect copyright.PENANAucLVfGqjtq
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對方的嘴型看來像是叫成浩別阻礙她工作的樣子。329Please respect copyright.PENANAvN81zexcVK
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誰說當男的就不可以「八」的?329Please respect copyright.PENANAIoYCTu1AgI
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成浩拿着收據回來的時候,俊赫便立即問起來了:「你跟那收銀小妹認識嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAf9YkcvaNgc
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「哦,校裡女子籃隊的隊員,也是我班裡的女生。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAx0fqXVtAAx
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俊赫若有所思點着頭:「可是看起來你不怎麼討人喜歡欸?」329Please respect copyright.PENANA9jgtzAOkrw
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「因為我問她可不可以給我們員工價,她死都不肯給。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAs0ewUlO6eM
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「小子,你以為自己是誰啦?」俊赫笑道。329Please respect copyright.PENANAYpgW1Llbva
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他拿走那張收據,看了下自己那份的價錢便準備拿錢包出來還債,沒想到的是這舉動反而讓成浩對他側目:「哥,你想幹嘛?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAg2FouJmruP
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「還你錢啊。怎麼了?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAz6Egl3g9U5
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「不用啦! 這頓算我的吧? 那次之後我都沒親自請哥吃飯,況且今晚又是我約你出來的。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAvEL9fjyAta
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俊赫眨了好一陣子眼,才默默把自己錢包塞回褲袋裡。原來是因為這樣才跟那女孩吵着要員工價啊? 他心想,不過這快餐店的食物定價學生們應該負擔得起……在他東想西想的時候,成浩已經跑到取餐點拿他們的「潛艇堡」,回來準備開吃。329Please respect copyright.PENANAe55j68XjiI
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因為餓,俊赫沒太理會儀態撕開它的包裝紙,大口地啃掉一部分,然後看着兩塊麵包之間的材料,他愣了起來:「成浩啊……現在這家快餐店給的量都那麼足嗎?」俊赫充滿疑問把手上的三明治橫切面遞給成浩看。329Please respect copyright.PENANAFpQinHdCyy
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學弟頓時不滿把自己的那份甩到桌上:「哇,真是的。她死不肯給我員工價也算了,還只把哥那份塞得滿滿的。哇——俊赫哥,以後還是你去點餐好了﹔不對,以後我還是少點跟你一起行動好了,這樣下去我的自尊會給你弄到一條毛都不剩的。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAg11ULjYlPp
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「有那麼誇張嗎?」俊赫看了下成浩的那份,確實自己的那份量比較多。329Please respect copyright.PENANAH1dZMhkkDC
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兩人不約而同望向在櫃台的那位女生。俊赫不是真傻,他看得出來那女生是在偷看自己。329Please respect copyright.PENANApfU8QhIYIt
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可是這種情況裝傻比較安全。所以他沒接話,靜靜啃自己那份潛艇堡。329Please respect copyright.PENANAkEDuQ6mIEv
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沒有男生不想成為女孩們的焦點,不過也總有一些人沒刻意做太多的事情,就贏得了女孩們的注意,就像現在坐在自己面前的俊赫哥——學弟朴成浩一邊嘴嚼自己的潛艇堡,眼睛一直盯着自己的學長看。329Please respect copyright.PENANAjHSYbEB7oS
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他認識了這位哥們那麼久,沒有怎見過對方主動接觸一些女生或是女士,就算會,那也只是友善的寒暄﹔這個人寒暄純粹只是為了跟大家打好關係,可是在異性的眼中卻是種窩心的行為。即使那些對這名學長感興趣的女孩主動接近,這位大哥哥還是會默默為彼此保持一段距離。329Please respect copyright.PENANAJLbMmpWUN6
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是因為那張可以跟電視上男藝人扛上的臉蛋嗎? 所以才敢這樣對待那些熱情的女孩們嗎?329Please respect copyright.PENANAxcrYtqERJD
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也不對啊? 去年他們私下策劃的派對上,這位大哥調皮到把一個女生哭了,他明明跟那女生不怎麼熟,可就像哄女朋友那樣抱在懷裡跟對方道歉,想安撫人家不要再哭。哇,光想起那個場境,成浩雞皮疙痂起來。他不明白俊赫是怎樣辦到的,更不明白為什麼對方沒有女友。329Please respect copyright.PENANAgCMwPehk7g
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「俊赫哥。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAHBMIjVCqwQ
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「這個真的很好吃。」俊赫用拇指把嘴角沾上的醬汁擦掉。329Please respect copyright.PENANAKN1prFpRaA
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成浩想都沒想劈頭就問:「你有女朋友嗎?」這害嘴裡還有東西的俊赫差點嗆死。329Please respect copyright.PENANAW2i0RET5HT
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「咳! 你這孩子怎麼突然問這個。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAY1eiyoFKrZ
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「因為我怎麼想都想不通啊?」成浩把雙手形成手刀,在空氣中上下比劃着俊赫的輪廓,「像哥這樣的人,怎麼可能一天到晚就只有下班、吃飯、睡覺跟上班這四項啊? 總該有個女朋友吧?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAu3wCcrQWDm
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俊赫很快就把自己的那份吃完:「五項,你忘了把上廁所給算進去。」他拿起飲料喝了起來,「稍等,不對耶……還有洗澡——」他舉起左手指頭很認真地在數自己的作息活動總項。329Please respect copyright.PENANA1bWkWsp605
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「哥甭想把話題跑歪,我可不會上當哦。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAE7vlTd9Q19
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呿。俊赫別開頭擺出不爽的神情,接着語氣懶散說道:「沒有。因為太麻煩。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAw4aF6xVaDz
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「騙子。」329Please respect copyright.PENANABTYt3WVAZZ
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「閉嘴。」他拿着汽水的手伸出食指,指着成浩的臉:「看少點電視劇什麼的吧? 男女關係沒裡頭說得那麼簡單,不是說︰呀,看對眼了,上啊! 一起了有空送個禮物哄哄,某些日子給對方一個驚喜就行的。現實比劇本還出彩更麻煩,所以那些編劇才靈感綿延不絕。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAWz4bclgUeh
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「但……維持一段關係不是要這樣子嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAlyjQDidW5l
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聽着成浩的反應俊赫快想拿起還剩半杯的汽水敲下去,最後當然是忍住了。329Please respect copyright.PENANAuLF6cg57Lz
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「哎喲。最重要的是心啦! 心!」329Please respect copyright.PENANAz4OOYXZi3K
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「所以俊赫哥是有過女朋友吧? 對吧?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAdJLt9PFqUc
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他翻起白眼,這種話題不管是男是女一放到桌面上,就會沒完沒了:「你哥今年幾歲了? 反正就是沒遇上對的人……總之現在我也沒興趣想這些,一切隨緣吧?」俊赫咬着吸管,雙眼望向快餐店外街道發呆。329Please respect copyright.PENANA0X7F6Z04gM
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沒有經歷過愛情洗刷的成浩皺着眉頭看他:「我突然覺得喜歡哥的那些女生好可憐。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAERpoNkziAM
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「要你管。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAkKKxBvyx3n
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「對了,哥不是說那次救了你的小姐住在你樓下嗎? 後來怎樣了?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAvP2utwIdKV
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他該怎麼對成浩這個孩子說呢? 以現在這個情況提起這件事,這小子會想太多吧?329Please respect copyright.PENANA30qXGEJ36n
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俊赫眼睛左右滑溜,細想一會如此說:「也沒什麼,我有時拿一些東西謝謝她,跟對方一起吃過一次宵夜這樣。前陣子是因為太閒我請她晚上到家來陪自己看套電影,沒什麼。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAtioDbfKc6a
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成浩看着自己這位學長,兩側眉毛挑了起來。329Please respect copyright.PENANAlT2JkO7hQs
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可是當事人沒有注意到成浩的表情,正忘我地打開了汽水紙杯上的膠蓋,把剩下的汽水跟冰塊送進嘴裡:「她對我說自己叫『妮娜』,在我那情況下還能保持冷靜的原因是以前當警察的,知道那種情況下自己需要做些什麼。我問她為什麼沒再當差,她卻說因為那份工作不適合自己,所以離職了。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAGevykK71WG
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俊赫一邊說,一邊心裡在想搞不好對方那套說辭,也是用來糊弄他的﹔就像她至今都沒打算告訴自己的名字叫「秀亞」一樣。今晚他出門之前想把買多了的養生飲料放到對方門前時,遇到個認識「妮娜」的女孩,說住在那裡的女人是她的「秀亞姐」。329Please respect copyright.PENANAGy1aYjcmJI
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不過,他哪有資格去氣對方沒坦白呢? 自己又不是人家的什麼人,只是個好命得到對方幫助的鄰居而已。或許,對方真的有一個暱稱叫妮娜,並沒有故意隱瞞他。329Please respect copyright.PENANANKgu6t5URj
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俊赫知道自己該那麼想,只是發現這件事的時候,他多少感到失落。329Please respect copyright.PENANAGcnGupdDIT
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因為自己沒有得到同等的對待而感到難過。他可是對她問自己的問題老實回答的啊?329Please respect copyright.PENANAyBBwL2JANZ
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啊,俊赫光回想起這件事就覺得鬱悶。329Please respect copyright.PENANAxHXp3ZJnjh
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話說回來,他今天碰見的那女孩好像是叫尹依吧? 不知道那孩子等到她姐沒有……329Please respect copyright.PENANA4Xkvo9gHum
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「給我等一下。」成浩雙手抱在胸前盯着自己學長:「俊赫哥,你剛說的是……你,約對方到你家裡,陪你看電影? 並不是約人家到電影院裡看這樣子嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANA97tYAsjkXZ
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「嗯。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAFtVC1IQMZq
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「那之後呢?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAZsULEVshAp
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「我就直接送人家回自己的單位,再回家啊? 這又怎麼了?」俊赫想了下,發現哪裡不對勁,再道,「不對,你把哥當成是什麼人了?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAzlb6wKe6CV
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「哥! 你再遲鈍也得有個譜啊?!」329Please respect copyright.PENANAs4KkulDksT
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俊赫只是呆坐在那裡,快速眨動着眼睛。329Please respect copyright.PENANA1BcicfxWj7
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這害得成浩當下抓狂到想捉住這位大哥瘋狂搖晃了:「就算我再不懂事也知道女生不會隨便上自己沒好感的男生家裡吧?! 大爺! 你剛說的是晚上耶!」329Please respect copyright.PENANAbdjcnqW6dt
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「那只是日常的消閒活動啊? 要是像你腦子想的那樣,我有動歪腦子,人家學過自衛技巧,你哥會反過來被壓制到『呀呀』大叫而已。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAMemgXS5bDn
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「哇,哥也太沒眼力了。」成浩難以置信地搖頭,「那哥幹嘛突然想約人家到家裡看電影啦? 論閒我不是更閒麼?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAupZKwlrg78
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欸——對耶。329Please respect copyright.PENANAXNRP323oJ6
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俊赫恍然大悟看着成浩:「嘻嘻……為何我就沒想到你咧?」329Please respect copyright.PENANA7lIvm40JOZ
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兩人隔着張桌子瞇眼對視了很久,似乎誰都不想先開口破解這僵局。329Please respect copyright.PENANAngjKg4mE3w
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可惜,好聚好散是俊赫的作風。329Please respect copyright.PENANADgYpeftl5z
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「成浩啊?」329Please respect copyright.PENANA24aMFvju04
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「嗯?」329Please respect copyright.PENANArKKnFcu0CS
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俊赫用像哄五歲小孩的口吻問學弟:「時間不早了,媽媽會擔心你的,要哥哥送你回家嗎?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAtNfFpp5SNB
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「噁心。」329Please respect copyright.PENANAq3PG56Nr2h
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想也知道,學弟朴成浩是不需要他送回家。兩人在連鎖快餐店分道揚鑣後,俊赫也沒有馬上乘車回家,因為在他等公交車的時候,收到自己不想看到的短信﹔那便是他母親發來跟自己要生活費的文字訊息,發來的時間不定,就看他母親有多缺零用錢。329Please respect copyright.PENANA2g42ckeJKZ
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以免每次檢視短信時會難過,一般俊赫在已讀後就會刪除它。329Please respect copyright.PENANAe36fMo33b5
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只是這一次對方向他討的不光是生活費,還有他同母異父的妹妹大學學費。329Please respect copyright.PENANAwlL0tPTgBd
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即使俊赫再有儲蓄習慣,這筆開支也令他甚感吃力。329Please respect copyright.PENANA9aD67lkVlv
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「給我一句『注意身體』也好啊?」329Please respect copyright.PENANAPCsh9ErwEE
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都知道自己之前發生這樣的事情了,一句問候都沒有,跟往常一樣只想跟他要錢嗎? 真的是冷酷無情啊? 他只要一句關心的話就行了,不是真心的都可以,只是哄他也行,為何就那麼一句話都不給他呢——俊赫漫無目的在街上行走,因為認得回家的路,他就打算這樣子走回公寓。329Please respect copyright.PENANAxkg9B2qTnK
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無奈的是俊赫多努力想讓路上的人和事帶走自己的思緒,他內心裡的痛都提醒着自己母親有多無情。329Please respect copyright.PENANAr1jJBN3NDx
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——我不是已經努力滿足每個人的要求了嗎? 為何只是想要一句話都那麼難呢?329Please respect copyright.PENANA3Sh1qqnYVH
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經過便利店他買了幾瓶燒酒用來當「助眠劑」。329Please respect copyright.PENANAGQW6dlhD4n
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今晚俊赫沒有跟成浩說的是……出門之前他讓知道妮娜本名的女孩留在家裡,因為他知道自己的這位女鄰居回家時間都很晚,所以不想一個女孩子在那空間裡待太久,就讓那個叫尹依的女孩待在他家裡等妮娜回來。329Please respect copyright.PENANAb567I59LKO
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真是的,自己還該稱呼對方「妮娜」嗎?329Please respect copyright.PENANAw188ABbx8M
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當他到家的時候那叫尹依的女孩已經離開了,亦很有禮貌地跟他留了紙條,感謝他願意讓她待在家裡等「秀亞姐」回來,而且留了一塊蛋糕在冰箱裡作為謝禮。329Please respect copyright.PENANAUk1GacZ35V
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不,若然對方不想他知道的話,還是裝作不知道吧?329Please respect copyright.PENANAFaVT5OvOl8
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洗完澡後的俊赫邊喝着燒酒,邊坐在床上用手機觀看那些逗趣的短片。329Please respect copyright.PENANALkYrUyDrHr
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在濃烈的睡意帶走他之前,只想起那晚跟她看完電影後,對方問他的那句話。329Please respect copyright.PENANA5XlNaMh40v
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——那我們這位愛笑的許俊赫先生,找到了自己人生意義了嗎?329Please respect copyright.PENANAPVlXYiGPmV
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哈,無法回答。