志恆倦極入睡,醒來的時候已是凌晨一時許。家人早已睡覺,屋子裡靜悄悄的,大馬路的汽車聲格外刺耳。他下樓到快餐店買個漢堡餐,再到相熟的雜貨店買了三罐啤酒。填飽肚子,填飽時間,填飽空虛。461Please respect copyright.PENANArR4fHwTa2P
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有時候會幻想,若餘生都沒能找到馨儀的下落,他會怎麼樣?時間能否徹底消弭罪疚感,讓他正正常常活下去?不知道。生命充滿「可能性」。他可能在頃刻間得救,亦可能整輩子活在半死不活的狀態裡。461Please respect copyright.PENANAGTmJyitu1c
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回家,睡房裡。461Please respect copyright.PENANA4tIScYPBMp
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沒有亮起房燈,僅靠透窗而入的自然光作照明。在異樣的光影合奏下,洶湧的陌生感來襲。他彷彿走進別人的房間,高架、漫畫、模型、書枱、床舖,全變了調。醉意來襲,狂性大發。他掃走書枱和高架上的一切。金屬筆筒叮咚作響,盤鍵啪啪甩脫,漫畫和模型以詭異的姿態在地面重逢……461Please respect copyright.PENANADCCTR3ad8j
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還有,那信封。461Please respect copyright.PENANAxyOZVD7pcy
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志恆從地面拾起那白得發亮的信封。461Please respect copyright.PENANAWaTjcpLpM8
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看郵戳,一星期前寄來的。看地址,是馨儀的筆跡。461Please respect copyright.PENANAXQDgJ1Btd5
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志恆雙手震顫不已:生命果然充滿「可能性」。461Please respect copyright.PENANAKBSwDi82vR
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和馨儀相約在城東某偏遠小區碰面。461Please respect copyright.PENANApHvDwcOG5i
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為免被童黨跟蹤,志恆穿上志恆爸的衣服,戴上口罩和鴨舌帽;馨儀消瘦不少,剪了個爽利短髮,打扮老套,化濃妝,特意在左臉上點了兩顆小痣當偽裝,務求看來老成。461Please respect copyright.PENANAdUOCYnqDwO
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二人相視怪笑:差點兒認不出對方。461Please respect copyright.PENANAVsZCq34654
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馨儀領志恆往她的新居。是一間廉租套房。三尖八角的間隔有點礙眼,但以相宜的價錢而言,那又何其合理。馨儀給志恆倒了一杯清水,抽出摺凳給志恆坐:「不好意思,將就一下。」461Please respect copyright.PENANAeBA2MJp7NE
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「不要緊。」志恆看不慣馨儀的偽裝和新髮型,感覺不是味兒。「你要先卸妝嗎?化妝品對皮膚很不好。」他知道馨儀剛下班,疲累得很,需要好好放鬆。461Please respect copyright.PENANAbV67ikyvCm
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馨儀感到窩心,帶笑到浴室卸妝更衣。461Please respect copyright.PENANApcfBMFWX4q
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她現於區內的麵包店當兼職收銀員,五天工作,偶爾於假日晚上在酒樓當樓面,賺取外快。日子十分充實,每天都累得要命。猶幸薪酬不俗,扣除租金和日常開支後仍有餘錢,生活不成問題。可恨心裡疑神疑鬼,怕自由日子不長久。461Please respect copyright.PENANAETObetGDys
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卸妝過後,臉部回復清新,心情亦稍稍放鬆下來。唯一的凳已讓給志恆,她只好坐在床邊,像個普通小女生一樣,抱著枕頭與閨中密友聊心事。461Please respect copyright.PENANArRy7AJwKLI
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「『逃避』不能徹底解決問題。」志恆道出馨儀不欲面對的簡單道理。「想快快樂樂過日子,必先要正視問題。」說得輕鬆,但緊握陶瓷杯柄的右手已出賣了他的真實感受。461Please respect copyright.PENANAGwG5T6ZOMR
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「我明白你的意思,但……」馨儀急停唇邊的話。告訴他真相又如何?事情不會有轉機,志恆甚至因而更痛苦。461Please respect copyright.PENANA3oDwAaxP0q
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志恆注視馨儀,期待她講下去。隨著時間分秒流逝,她的勇氣消失殆盡,沒能再交出片言隻字。461Please respect copyright.PENANAngavX5mk3e
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志恆難免氣餒:「你不相信我嗎?」461Please respect copyright.PENANAbs7AVG0diy
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馨儀如夢初醒,重拾初心:「我相信你,不然怎會冒險主動聯絡你!」461Please respect copyright.PENANA9DPusDvNov
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她寄出信件前曾猶豫過好幾天。461Please respect copyright.PENANA79UVW8js0u
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若是單純的報平安,就無需寫下聯絡方法;若是需要協助,志恆並非首選求助對象;若是想打探消息,買張電話儲值咭致電予他,豈不更省時省力……為何偏要約他見面?461Please respect copyright.PENANAbU9UbyOcSQ
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她想念志恆。461Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2wV7KKW5Z
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不。她是想念志恆對她的愛寵!461Please respect copyright.PENANAKH2hLblOFm
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明明知道那不是愛情,但她不捨放棄志恆。寵她的男生有很多,卻只有志恆是真誠的。在他身邊,馨儀會覺得自己裡裡外外都是值得被愛……461Please respect copyright.PENANADRKqyofL12
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無恥!自私!賤格!461Please respect copyright.PENANAyQ1GnQd5VZ
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馨儀打從心底鄙視自己。461Please respect copyright.PENANAfkrjigxqoh
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她從不是清高的女生。認識志恆以前,她不也是利用男生們對她的愛慕佔便宜嗎?只是她看中志恆的單純無邪,容易操控,不會像其他男生那樣居心叵測。她收斂下來,一邊消費志恆的愛,一邊以「純情女生」的姿態騎牛搵馬,找個條件更好的男生。461Please respect copyright.PENANAK5uGrd5N7K
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「試問誰不想活得更好?人之常情!」461Please respect copyright.PENANAoRneSiBDnT
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她只能如此催眠自己……461Please respect copyright.PENANAvL96YhSFI3
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馨儀沒多話,直接在志恆面前褪下衣褲,只餘內衣內褲在身。她湊近志恆,逼令他好好看清她的身體。「我寧願長期忍受痛楚,亦誓要守著那個秘密。」461Please respect copyright.PENANAbtUlSdyRqE
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慘不忍睹。461Please respect copyright.PENANAq2YUMFBn7j
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胸脯以下至臀部的位置,全是嚴重灼傷的痕跡。每個傷痕密麻而細小,約菸蒂大小。像蛇鱗,片片分明,亂中有序,幾近密鋪圖案那樣天衣無縫。湊近細看,不是單純的灼傷,而是在傷處不停施虐,致使皮膚表面凹凸不平。新傷疊著舊患,痂皮脫落後,皮膚亦沒能回復平坦,留有永久的疤痕。461Please respect copyright.PENANACNxGgLqq8B
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志恆近距離直視馨儀的身體,不自覺全身起滿雞皮疙瘩,卻又不敢別過臉,怕傷馨儀的心。他又痛心又氣憤又自責又迷惘。千思萬緒湧上心頭,引出眼淚。461Please respect copyright.PENANAMxdqzUngZ1
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馨儀後退回床邊,穿回衣褲。461Please respect copyright.PENANAFnj5OKQOxd
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悸動。雖是她主動向志恆展露瘡疤。461Please respect copyright.PENANAoviVODafId
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身上是永不磨滅的傷痕,但為了更重要、更美好的將來,她願意揭開更深更痛的傷口。461Please respect copyright.PENANAqEFtgPt82Z
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不惜一切!461Please respect copyright.PENANAEm73j15qWN
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不出馨儀所料,剛剛的「真情剖白」令志恆對她更死心塌地。他乖乖交出手提電話,讓她親自決定影片的下場。