志恆消瘦下來後,衰老十年似的,像個行將就木的老年人。但他笑報喜訊,說自己明天可以出院。450Please respect copyright.PENANAP3eFfnRTv4
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「要在家繼續休養,還是可以正常上學?」光仔十分憂心。450Please respect copyright.PENANAN6AnCDgSCy
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「要繼續休養。」志恆眼神閃爍不定,似乎有所隱瞞。450Please respect copyright.PENANAK9JEKcdKaN
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「答應我,不准擅自找馨儀。」相識三年,光仔了解志恆。450Please respect copyright.PENANAIzyp6ZrvEm
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志恆苦笑:終究瞞不了光仔。「我想保護我喜歡的人,有何不可?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAVNjWvaRDkN
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「你知道馨儀在哪?」祈祈不解。450Please respect copyright.PENANAeSxobqJpPX
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「不知道,但有幾個地方適合馨儀作藏身地。我想親自查證。」志恆坦白。450Please respect copyright.PENANAw6mBkQZYEb
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「告訴我們。我們去查探!」祈祈難以理解志恆的做法。「你要多多休息!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAJTHBwV8X2Y
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「每個人都有一些難以啟齒的秘密。」志恆完全代入馨儀的角度。450Please respect copyright.PENANAt4JI4gSY8o
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「那關乎她的人生安全!」光仔幾近咆哮出來。450Please respect copyright.PENANADeAB6Lh7SU
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「她偏偏願意用生命守秘密!」志恆徹底走火入魔。450Please respect copyright.PENANA63cXwoui2M
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光仔氣得不顧儀態,在祈祈面前對志恆說髒話。「你十七歲了!動動腦筋好不好?只要捱過這些日子,之後有誰還會記得甚麼秘密不秘密!」450Please respect copyright.PENANAIwBsrgzT1M
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志恆幽幽一笑,笑光仔太理性。450Please respect copyright.PENANAZZExkuquEB
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離開醫院後,光仔和祈祈在某餐廳點了兩份午餐。450Please respect copyright.PENANAK8jRTeNMjG
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光仔氣在心頭,一反常態,吃得慢,慢得忘了電影開場時間。祈祈同樣滿懷心事,卻沒有光仔那麼投入,能如常吃喝吞嚥。她偷偷打量低頭不語的光仔,嘗試猜測他的所思所想,進而分析他的核心性格。450Please respect copyright.PENANAFj6UhyQRmI
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表裡不一。450Please respect copyright.PENANAmgcohhA1SJ
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他的性格看似鮮明突出,惟深入認識以後,就會發現他處事含糊不清,拖泥帶水。他罵志恆感情用事,但他自己不又是明知生氣於事無補,偏偏氣得吃不下午餐。450Please respect copyright.PENANAtUJTwnyifL
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光仔察覺祈祈對著他甜笑,頓時耳朵一熱,靦腆羞道:「不好意思,悶著你。」450Please respect copyright.PENANARuCi88j5b2
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「沒有。」祈祈倒像個大姐姐,開解謂:「你有解不了的心結?」450Please respect copyright.PENANASfDcnVWMpN
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「這就是不理性的情。」光仔自嘲,笑自己成為一份活生生的反面教材:「明明感到不愉快,亦沒需要身陷其中,但就是離不開、捨不得。」450Please respect copyright.PENANAXe5h3P6PT6
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「你對志恆的友情、志恆對馨儀的愛情,都是不理性的情。」祈祈一臉認真。對情,她未必會了解,但絕不輕視。450Please respect copyright.PENANAIlFBHinA4z
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「看來……」光仔苦笑幾聲:「我沒有資格助你了解『不理性的情』。我自己也在這種麻煩當中,脫不了身。」450Please respect copyright.PENANAHEquVlGS4i
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「剛才留意你和志恆的對答時,我大概明白了解『不理性的情』的最佳方法是身陷其中。只要親身經歷過,就會明白當事人的心態,由同情心轉化為同理心。」祈祈以理智的口吻,提出不理智的方法。450Please respect copyright.PENANAG14rEbJlnE
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「你想……」光仔霎時間消化不來。450Please respect copyright.PENANAblKn6jUfO8
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「成為你的女友,可以嗎?」450Please respect copyright.PENANAfyTc2Vdwoz
志恆理解大家的心情,但大家有否試過理解馨儀的心情呢?450Please respect copyright.PENANA3aqlrl4gFL
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他不鼓吹自殺,但也不贊成對自殺者有過份的批判。450Please respect copyright.PENANAy2oybB7oTM
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生命是屬於當事人的,生死均是當事人的權利,旁觀者只能告訴當事人有關生命的「可能性」。生命的貴重,在於其「可能性」。無人能保證生命是美好或醜惡,亦無人能保證下一秒沒有改變。部份不滿意現狀的人會選擇自殺,是因為他們看不見「可能性」,看不見活下去的原因。450Please respect copyright.PENANAYmzshcojUa
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與其將「自殺」視為社會的禁忌話題,予以打壓,倒不如省掉以旁觀者身份作出的盲目批評說話,設身處地為當事人想辦法,給他看見更多「可能性」。450Please respect copyright.PENANAusdVKvFOQZ
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馨儀在哪?志恆不知道。馨儀仍在生嗎?他相信馨儀會把性命留到最後一刻:她可不是隨便要生要死的傢伙。只要底線未被觸及,她就會頑強活下去。他要協助馨儀死守秘密!450Please respect copyright.PENANAaH0nnxMUtf
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明知學校已報警,志恆仍然放心不下。出院以後,他沒有依照醫生的指示好好休息,反而把握時間尋找馨儀。志恆媽初時會嘮叨志恆幾句,但時日漸遠,她亦不再浪費口水:他是來真的,不會因旁人的說話而動搖。450Please respect copyright.PENANAB285cS3wp0
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又是空手而回的一天。志恆頹喪地回到睡房,累得懶換沾滿塵埃汗臭的衣服,直接癱在床鋪上,腦海混沌一片。混雜了很多截然不同的情緒,其中最惹他在意的,是內疚。450Please respect copyright.PENANAzi0ExLhOUt
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沒料到那是「最後」一次與馨儀聯絡。450Please respect copyright.PENANAF2wPdrmv1z
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當時馨儀哭聲不住,含糊地說「看來我真的需要休息」、「我會好好調整自己的人生」、「就讓秘密永遠埋葬於過去」諸如此類的奇怪說話。可恨他當時只著眼於二人之間的情事,沒留意話語間的怪異氣息。450Please respect copyright.PENANAryeiz5Gkbv
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如果,當時他聰明一點,注意到馨儀的不妥,多勸幾句,事情會否就此不一樣?450Please respect copyright.PENANA7UXSg7A80V
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可惜,世事從來沒有「如果」,他只能靠自身努力減少罪疚感。