三年前,我莫名其妙地多了一個外號:食屎仔。257Please respect copyright.PENANAzt2q6MYKzR
257Please respect copyright.PENANAtsDBOWAn8A
我起初以為是剛鬧翻的同學的惡作劇,於是不予理會。惟經過一段日子後,情況竟越發惡劣,各種流言蜚語傳遍全校。我憤極找對方晦氣,豈料發現他並非生事者。我轉而向老師求救,奈何收效甚微。自此,我正式成為全校學生的欺凌對象。除了不堪入耳的說話,單打圍毆也是少不免的。257Please respect copyright.PENANATOraNfo4Qq
257Please respect copyright.PENANAkdwl9yPUNB
我採用消極的方法應對,逃跑、曠課、甚或是以金錢換取片刻安寧。但久而久之,我成了驚弓之鳥,即使獨處亦心緒不寧,逐漸萌生自殺念頭。我每天有如行屍走肉,對未來失去希望:說不定,我在畢業前已自殺或被打死。257Please respect copyright.PENANAM0S4dY3BxW
257Please respect copyright.PENANAi3CABnCUDU
某個風和日麗的上午,我被四個男同學拖至男廁虐打。我倦縮一隅,雙手護著後腦勺,抿嘴啞忍。他們以最歡快的語調講出最惡毒的說話,直至那一句——257Please respect copyright.PENANAhdaNaK2cBu
257Please respect copyright.PENANAt9akkmTcjY
「犬子無虎父!」257Please respect copyright.PENANAC1IooHr4iz
257Please respect copyright.PENANAYFJmT1N2Np
我的情緒瞬間達至沸點,雙臂一振,用力一推,兩個男生飛跌倒地。眾人驚呆,沒料到我會反抗。趁他們還未及反應過來,我迅即擸起不遠處的地拖反擊……舊傷疤還未癒合,新傷口就已遍佈全身。257Please respect copyright.PENANAkkyoNA4C1U
257Please respect copyright.PENANAMQXNmdMWmR
「為何不把心思好好花在學業上,偏要四處惹事生非?」年過半百的老爸是典型的傳統家長,堅信唸好課本才有出頭天。257Please respect copyright.PENANA9EPxueFyAT
257Please respect copyright.PENANAmGsonJJ9Is
「我才沒有四處惹事生非!那是同學之間的小吵小罵而已!」我從沒告訴老爸有關這三年的慘況。老爸學歷不高,找不到文職工作,多年來都是當清潔工。他辛勤工作、省吃省用才勉強足夠給我供書教學。我實在不想給他添煩。257Please respect copyright.PENANA5tMQId147s
257Please respect copyright.PENANAAIJoV5QAVj
「總之,要好好唸書,長大以後才可找到舒適的工作。」老爸深諳世道艱難,不願我重蹈覆轍。257Please respect copyright.PENANAQtwyfyWJcP
257Please respect copyright.PENANAefgmNO20PR
「知道。」我用力點頭,勉力擠出陽光笑容。257Please respect copyright.PENANAiXXpOoJpIc
257Please respect copyright.PENANAdjMhJqi8kG
又一個平平無奇的上學天。由校門到儲物櫃的短短五分鐘路程,已有三十多人帶笑關心我今天吃了屎當早餐沒。對於這類只敢口頭調侃的人,我通常不予理會。而那些暗暗在旁觀察我的傢伙才是真正需要被留意的:他們都是敢於動粗的人。257Please respect copyright.PENANAV0OMgTq0ar
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但,算了吧。反正注定躲不了。257Please respect copyright.PENANAh3gT4H7FvI
257Please respect copyright.PENANA4LshBZcXa5
打開儲物櫃,我驚呆:今天竟然無屎!(平日大家會透過隙縫噴屎水到我的儲物櫃內,所以我會用膠袋將所有櫃內物件包起來。)257Please respect copyright.PENANAEQqyErorJD
257Please respect copyright.PENANAW0LS3MfHX8
而更神奇的是,櫃內有一封匿名信。257Please respect copyright.PENANABwUPm6fR1C
257Please respect copyright.PENANAoIY9lnyB5h
「我可以告訴你有關『食屎仔』一名的由來。今晚七時,校門外等。」257Please respect copyright.PENANAaZcPYlxgwv
257Please respect copyright.PENANAEOOam3XZ6y
晚上六時許,老爸吃晚餐後也就出門上班去。我匆匆洗碗後,亦馬上更衣離家赴約。校門前,有一高大身影依時出現。我真不敢相信自己雙眼。對方竟是平日欺負得我最慘的傢伙:高年級的男學長——曌少。257Please respect copyright.PENANA1EcZINO0c4
257Please respect copyright.PENANATmWdZUxppV
我本能立即轉身逃跑。257Please respect copyright.PENANAQTGRUKx0h3
257Please respect copyright.PENANA01eeI9ixOo
「你不想洗脫污名嗎?」曌少沒有追趕,僅以雄渾響亮的聲音道。257Please respect copyright.PENANAHCkqqftwLw
257Please respect copyright.PENANAMgpAh6y642
我不期然停下腳步,不敢置信地回頭。257Please respect copyright.PENANARt3zrm1Zi7
257Please respect copyright.PENANAZe6ZiEOu3R
「跟我來。」表情木然的他沒有瞥我一眼,自顧自開步走。257Please respect copyright.PENANAD4d0i58Xjj
257Please respect copyright.PENANAUaG70qWybL
的確,他沒需要理會我的反應,因為一切皆在他意料之內:我乖乖垂頭尾隨他,去到某地下賭場的入口。257Please respect copyright.PENANAd7cCZFt73C
257Please respect copyright.PENANA2X6KhV18UF
冷峻的門前守衛甫看見曌少,馬上換一副嘴臉,前呼後擁。曌少保持高傲,不大理會他們。我佇立門外,不敢踏入賭場門口:那很可能是陷阱。257Please respect copyright.PENANAl2Dp7IYR4Q
257Please respect copyright.PENANA1imsOIbGzU
曌少顯然知道我在顧慮甚麼。他的表情仍然木訥,語調依舊硬倔,但離開唇邊的話卻變成正面的鼓勵說話:「你在男廁的反擊很漂亮。那股狠勁充滿爆發力,將來必定大有作為。」257Please respect copyright.PENANAAp0VrZVbSk
257Please respect copyright.PENANAuE2iUdSU06
我茫然。他當日不是被我打得頭破血流嗎?而且我最終是被他們反擊圍毆至半死。257Please respect copyright.PENANAAGBnt5XAgf
257Please respect copyright.PENANAXH7jI4T0IO
「這是你洗脫污名的唯一機會。」他沒多解釋,試圖以堅定的眼神說服我:「信我!」257Please respect copyright.PENANAa3aXSSUXx9
257Please respect copyright.PENANAAf4bhmpU2n
心頭一顫,我被他的眼神震懾著,昔日的仇恨霎時間灰飛煙滅。257Please respect copyright.PENANAYFzdDzeqp7
257Please respect copyright.PENANAVFhovR01pi
曌少走在前面引路,一邊高調跟熟稔的賭客打招呼,一邊輕聲給我介紹賭場的運作模式。除了各式各樣的賭具和賭局外,賭場還會提供特別的娛樂……他突然停下腳步,指向身邊的一幅布簾,示意我千萬不要發出任何聲音,只能從隙縫間偷偷瞥望。257Please respect copyright.PENANAFvyHEXOP8K
257Please respect copyright.PENANApUiNpYyU4D
老爸……正在……食屎!笑容可掬的同時面容扭曲,眼帶諂媚之意得來隱滲絕望。257Please respect copyright.PENANAfGM0bmwatT
257Please respect copyright.PENANAfThOwJHLAI
羞憤交加,我把曌少的話拋諸腦後,欲衝前阻止老爸。曌少及時掩著我的嘴巴,以強大的武力將我拖拉至賭場的後巷。他狠狠連摑我三記耳光,摑得我天旋地轉,失去還擊之力。冷靜下來後,我的心情跌至谷底,沒理會曌少的勸說,跌跌撞撞歸家去。257Please respect copyright.PENANAfWiI73AErV
257Please respect copyright.PENANABqCRCdlzxm
深夜,輾轉難眠。直至聽到老爸躡手躡腳在房門外經過的聲音,我才含淚進入夢鄉。夢裡,老爸日日夜夜帶笑食屎,排出無數惡臭的鈔票,鈔票以排山倒海之勢撲向我。鈔票甫觸及我的身體,頃刻溶化成屎水,湧向儲物櫃內的書簿文具……夢醒,我不得不承認殘酷的真相:老爸是為養育我而受盡屈辱。257Please respect copyright.PENANAjY82ENGH1u
257Please respect copyright.PENANA8LFNbK35eg
從睡房門隙偷望熟睡的老爸後,我如常上學去。曌少在校門等我,主動給我遞菸。我沒有理睬他。他沒趣地把菸叼在唇間,點燃,吞雲吐霧。257Please respect copyright.PENANArWUbzdhWyn
257Please respect copyright.PENANAK5TxJvk0SK
「蒄爹(我老爸)三年前開始在賭場工作,專門負責表演食屎。我調查過,該是某同學的父母曾光顧賭場,認出蒄爹是你爸,然後……」257Please respect copyright.PENANAKRTZZrF2EC
257Please respect copyright.PENANA277ATkcePW
「然後我就成為名副其實的『食屎仔』。」我苦笑自嘲:「為何要告訴我?想我們父子合作演出?」257Please respect copyright.PENANAKgHq82V5q5
257Please respect copyright.PENANA7OxmzKXbWZ
「我想向賭場老闆推薦你擔綱新推出的娛樂項目,取代現在的『食屎』表演。」他沒有表現出絲毫憐憫及同情。257Please respect copyright.PENANA9bnyDPWO81
257Please respect copyright.PENANAQ2QkcnMYhW
「表演飲尿嗎?」我繼續嬉皮笑臉。257Please respect copyright.PENANAsNoYACC2wy
257Please respect copyright.PENANABVBUqOnYIK
「我想你接受訓練,成為賭場其中一個的拳擊手。」他認真地向我講解他的構思。「賭場派出拳擊手與同級的客人在擂台對戰,暗中依照老闆的指令勝出或敗北。」257Please respect copyright.PENANAheNz63KExA
257Please respect copyright.PENANAup5GvBKIq9
「謝了。我沒興趣弄虛作假。」我不想與地下賭場有任何瓜葛,暗中盤算如何勸說老爸辭工。257Please respect copyright.PENANAIXGmVa4N68
257Please respect copyright.PENANA8ksOaIpHPl
「沒有新的娛樂項目,賭場就不會放棄現有的表演,會威逼利誘蒄爹繼續食……」他驀地發現我神色有異,沒有講下去。257Please respect copyright.PENANAx5KTnvYk8E
257Please respect copyright.PENANAgoZv1LvBk4
「算了吧。」我心如死灰,罪疚感和絕望已然壓垮我。257Please respect copyright.PENANAgH1iDk6F8a
257Please respect copyright.PENANAtyg5iXEh9c
「食屎仔!你甘心整輩子當食屎仔嗎?」他的情緒竟一下子爆發,表現得比我更激動,眾目睽睽下撕扯我的校服。「枉蒄爹含辛茹苦養大你!你有何顏面繼續花他賺來的錢、吃他買的米、穿他買的校服?」257Please respect copyright.PENANAWcsmYRB2lS
257Please respect copyright.PENANAhR5FsJ3UWP
我拼命掙扎。糾纏間,我扯爛了他的校服,看見他身上的陳年傷痕。我住手了,他猙獰的面目亦放鬆下來。257Please respect copyright.PENANA9wJSJaqu7w
257Please respect copyright.PENANAdwmpWJDsxf
「食屎仔……我就是上一代的食屎仔……」曌少整個人軟癱下來,表情複雜,有悲有恨有喜有狠勁。257Please respect copyright.PENANATv5FC0K5Tz
257Please respect copyright.PENANAL2zSoNhTIY
我頓時明白了他的苦心。257Please respect copyright.PENANAH9xM1E8HXI
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「我答應你,我定會成為最後一個的食屎仔!」