Quiet. That was the only way he could think about his world. Quiet. Sometimes it seemed to him he was watching everything through a bubble that muffled the world and disconnected him. He had always thought he was alone in feeling this way. There were the overly dramatic kids who dressed in dark clothing and acted aloof. He’d always gotten the impression they were just trying to get attention.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIJmCGM6tl
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But then he’d seen her. She was walking with a group of friends. They stopped to chat in front of where he was sitting, virtually ignoring him. He was reading Catch-22 (Either out of pretentiousness or the legitimate feeling of having found a kindred spirit, he felt a particular kinship to Yossarian).757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8iqxaOiji
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The girls had distracted him – he’d always found one of them to be especially pretty. It wasn’t that girl who drew his attention this time, however. It was her. He had to take a careful look. She was talking with her friends amicably and enthusiastically, but there was clearly some part of her that was holding back.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAaj1lqCVY
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She was in a bubble too.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQ9fFXgg7a
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It’s windy today. He isn’t particularly surprised. The Northern California weather is fairly bipolar in the spring. He isn’t wearing a sweatshirt, though. It seems to him that feeling the wind cut into his skin in its entirety is a fitting tribute. He takes a quick sip from the flask in his hand and grimaces at the strong, bitter taste. He forces himself to drink more as his thoughts return to her – although, to be honest, they have never truly ever left her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHjzpceUZE
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnrcNzMUFg
He has twenty-six minutes.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauqqKOW6we
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She’d been in class with them since kindergarten or so, but his attention had never been drawn to her for any reason. She ran with her crowd, he ran with his (much smaller) one.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wh7b6ioIg
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALEM9pbNXj
Since then, he’d been virtually consumed with trying to find an in – some way to approach her. He had momentarily amused himself with the idea of just going up to her and talking. He was, as he’d realized, unusually self-reflective. He doubted she had an idea that she was in a bubble.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoSUoJgaSY
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsKmzcwwo1
When their honors chemistry teacher had seated him beside her, he could have considered it a stroke of luck. But the truth was, he had been waiting for this moment for four years. And, still, he was frustrated to find himself at a loss for what to say.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeH58V1msfw
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlHt3iCoHU
She was the one who talked to him first – outside their lab discussions, that is. He had been bored with the teacher’s lecture. His parents, teachers, and doctor considered him a “genius.” All of them pushed him to take the hardest, most challenging classes he possibly could. When his parents had realized that he was breezing through honors chemistry, they had wanted to petition for him to be moved to AP chemistry, but when he’d been waiting for this opportunity for so long, he couldn’t let it slip through his fingers. So, he’d purposely failed the first honors chemistry test.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NrnXKrdO8
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDoGroKfzQ
It was a few days after the test that he had been absently doodling a ninja on his notes. He saw her glance over. He was, admittedly, a little embarrassed and he swept the paper off his desk and into his backpack. She looked at him quizzically and he whispered the first thing that came to his mind, “Ninjas don’t stay out in the open.”757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM0boWnCiJ
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcHw6jBDeW0
He’d wanted to slap his forehead as soon as he said that, but surprise had colored her face, only to be replaced by a little smile. He was ecstatic. It was a start, right? There was no way he could have expected what happened next.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc6CUa5DiX
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsTGTO35Vt
He went to his locker after school, and she was standing there. She turned her gaze to him and then turned away, saying, “I have something to show you.”757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSeE4982Rcb
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The sun hit her face at an angle that made her eyes seem translucent. He couldn’t look away.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHTClarq2s
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAny0deKAI
Everything had changed after that and he never, ever wanted it to return to normal.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnid0itL5qC
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb3G242xdu
People were more than a little surprised at first – he was too, he had to admit. In response to the disbelieving stares, she just walked forward, firmly holding his hand. He couldn’t even say when the looks at faded, when the two of them together had become natural to everyone.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7pQAs2UBD
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQr9KTpqHD
Outside of school, the two of them had their own world. Their bubbles had merged.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoHr9j34cI
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iyBIHNIVa
She moved at the speed of light, only really sitting still at rare instances. He loved how relaxed she looked when she was seated in her attic, surrounded by the miniature world she’d built. Sitting there was always cramped and uncomfortable, but it was one of his favorite places to be, just because of the way she always grew completely absorbed in her tiny village.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHLzXg2Cov
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1CcmPpNyu
While he’d never been able to stand up to people, she easily bulldozed through conflicts. Still, when they were together, the façade of fierceness crumbled and she collapsed into his grip, looking like the most fragile creature he had ever seen. He would stroke her hair at those times, but somehow he felt the strongest urge to comfort her when she was in “Warrior Goddess” character, as one of them had dubbed it (although neither of them could later remember which one of them had come up with it). She told him he was the battery that kept her going.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKem4ZFJRgQ
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He’s starting to buzz now. The overhead lights are beginning to flash and the wind doesn’t sting so much anymore. He still has fourteen minutes.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w0mg37Dba
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mvxydQcOZ
She reminded him of Scarlett O’Hara – from the novel, as he had never seen the movie. He never told her that, though, because sometimes he worried he wasn’t enough. He felt that a Scarlett O’Hara needed a Rhett Butler. But then she would look at him, suddenly and without any real reason and smile very, very slightly. It was their secret acknowledgement.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqnrzc8dsL
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8620ysH0h
Spending time with her, especially at school, meant that he was also spending time with her friends – both guys and girls. He expected that to be annoying, but he was stunned to find that it wasn’t. He liked her friends. He liked her when she was alone with him, but he also liked her when she was with all of them.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMp9xngMIA
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He didn’t know exactly when it had happened, but suddenly there was no longer a bubble.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8VYkkpo66
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxWKm8XBId
It didn’t take him long to realize that she didn’t invite him over very often – and when she did, it was always afterschool and she would nervously usher him out after a couple of hours. He was never invited over on weekends. They would either go out or hang out at his house.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL0WUdPcIaB
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGTqK3oP92
He knew she lived with only her father and he’d met him only twice in all the time they were together. Her father seemed tired from work and had given him a frail smile that looked so much like hers when she was particularly jaded, that he was surprised. But she hadn’t seemed happy at all to have her dad meet him. He asked her about it and she had replied that she was embarrassed that he had met her dad, not the other way around.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8wJRR1rVH
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiaf3mR6Ubz
One day, he kissed her and slid his hand under her shirt onto her bare stomach. She flinched away and for the first time, he truly took charge, forcing her to show him what was wrong. Her stomach was mottled with bruises. She airily told him they were an effect of her clumsiness. As far as he could think, she was the least clumsy person he’d ever known.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT2Qk67EKI
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKmsBV2HE5
As worried as he was, he couldn’t bring himself to broach the topic again. She was unpredictable in her anger. Their relationship was characterized by his ability to keep the peace and not get riled up over every little thing. That was her forte. She would get riled up and he would support her in her fury before trying to calm her down gently.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRB42j3FDa7
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKYF4GVLzK
He didn’t want to risk driving her away. Not now. Not when she was the most important thing in his life.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gwGaNvGAu
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7vSNVaMhw
Then it happened. She wasn’t answering his calls, which didn’t make sense at all. If she would be unable to take his calls, she would warn him in advance. He knew, of course, that situations did crop up unexpectedly. Nevertheless, he was unsettled. He kept getting the feeling that something was horribly wrong.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNS2U1s45Ih
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWACjh9mQe
He drove over to her house and rang the doorbell. Although he could hear sounds from inside, no one answered. So, he tried knocking on the door. When that failed, he went around to her bedroom, where the window was open like he knew it would be. He shimmied through it. The sound he’d been hearing, he could tell now, was sobbing. He dashed out of the room and followed the source of the sound to the dining room.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbKjfyXIYM
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPPslwKQsix
She was lying on the floor, curled up in a ball. He was afraid to touch her and hurt her even further. He called the paramedics and had her taken to the hospital where it was determined that two of her ribs had been broken. At first everyone was occupied with her injuries, but he knew he would be questioned about them. He didn’t know what to say. He was so afraid to tell the truth.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggB6fNBiou
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But…but if he didn’t do it, this could happen again – or worse. The thought of her being hurt again was unbearable. She had to know he was doing it for her because he didn’t want anything to happen to her ever again.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsVCHcxW3u
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So, when he was asked, he ended up telling them the truth.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmzKM6EeXP
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwe9oj7FRhC
His fingertips and lips are tingling now. He licks his lips, amazed by the strange sensation and alternately flexes and clenches his fingers. His eyesight is flickering and it takes him awhile to focus on the clock. Seven minutes.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzV06rMohg
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Child protective services came when they were in honors chemistry. The class had changed seats, so he was no longer beside her. Still, when they came to get her, she shot him a murderous look he knew very well – one that had never been directed at him.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uCSLY48p4
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqkeIFXWfv
He just wanted the chance to talk to her and to explain, but she completely cut him off. She didn’t return his calls and her eyes just slid past him in the school hallways. He couldn’t allow himself to give up. He couldn’t allow himself to apologize either. He hadn’t done anything wrong. He was just trying to protect her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QMJsBotm6
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfaDXzpqAu
People stuck out their feet in hallways and laughed nastily when he tripped. They purposely shoved past him and knocked his books to the ground. He couldn’t believe people were ignoring the fact that her ribs had been broken. All through this, she pretended she didn’t see anything.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkG7KK1qRfd
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDOAufa7Kb
He couldn’t believe how much it hurt. Things hadn’t affected him directly when he’d been in his bubble. But now that it had burst, there was nothing to blunt the pain. He didn’t want to give up, but he wasn’t strong enough. He couldn’t handle this kind of treatment, especially from her.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ932AbJcBH1
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU8sKmPCfX
Eventually he gave up when the frostiness of her gaze didn’t change in the slightest. He hoped someday she would come to terms with what he did – that she’d understand and forgive him for it. For now, he didn’t know how to handle it. Instead of being in a bubble, he was in a box. He felt claustrophobic.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUepgC0BzjS
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He knew then that there was only one way out.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7rLhe0PJY
757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBaKnNlfRT
He rises to his feet and staggers, throwing out his hand against a pillar to catch himself. There isn’t anyone around, thankfully. He wants to be alone. It’s only appropriate. The Baby Bullet train is on its way. It doesn’t stop at this station, just speeds right through. That's what he’s waiting for. Thirty seconds. He sees the lights.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9ZmiznUPP
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He conjures up her face and wills her to smile and to someday forgive him. Ten seconds. He takes a deep breath and lets go.757Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcs76blJyF3
Penana
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