以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡga6iAvElMW
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWl2QiRAZ8
感謝參與～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4QMZocj5N
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCv0ljgJ2r
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnz8X6slG5
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzqQn3QImE
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa990iQacpA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwM5ZOWXDL
～～～～分隔線～～～～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEGCgmW7sG
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhAERI9vff
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVeGlyMONPx
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ohax6NWsK
〈限制和自由〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLl09h2EdbA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB5W5XKusb
penana.com/article/1024895108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQbThPWsLX
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBbTBq5bnt
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQFoXaaVkV
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jW539QkEY
詩度 0。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41QboccsEj
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UKPH88uiE
～～～～分隔線～～～～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmiPpTVKhrm
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGC2TPhcsvb
〈問〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9vTG7xpgX
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUgS1oNx8d
penana.com/article/1024944108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCiQjyWaQk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXm70JVm92
詩度高一點。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcovsCmoJz
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHs5CVqxhbF
～～～～分隔線～～～～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9OQoXoraus
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5MSp6orBJH
〈摩天之輪〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GEyAVlMjk
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYkauNFPZ9
penana.com/article/1045705108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06MzGkmq43
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVex6JVMra3
詩度再高一點。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1qYVLmKey
～～～～分隔線～～～～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiT4CET8CS
〈蝴蝶酥〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN8a1nvsHv
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHuCIxfrzV
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTp8BWZXBP
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrunuAmk8v
詩度比前三首都高。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeKgFeTNyJ
～～～～分隔線～～～～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTFJ80iWyNY
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFcsoLbKkb
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbozMtZpAOt
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyFniijbuT
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dYxeaEOm3
跟你分享。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfpjkhigSE
～～～～分隔線～～～～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1sj3pC0Uk
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TWXGn4GBM
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pgIjeFTzB
【認識新詩的基本元素】108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKrxlqbXil
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywCq2JrlNx
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPS18v3kTSK
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8pmzx1sGX
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnfY7jNXqS
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH7XmUIZgxs
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNVdYwJlYq
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTz9iim6sxI
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkKb6XXyh1
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeWwD93dKw
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObu9P8hh04
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiA9uvrlRM
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeLhRvWufT
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ2keYbqrK
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwBR4i7Kgn
【這次全新寫的感想】
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7txBH8Iya
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oMf8EteMn
〈詠栗〉
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrEhZ6iArUE
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzAuH5Fvl8F
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKuGjNmlwN
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TgOGFplEN
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlComlmwUD
如果寫成
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rypA0i9rm
〈詠栗〉
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuVLM5d9k4
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pKIkSBGT3
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjmLKLX57w
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5boMddtBk
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHD16wqRJCh
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymj2IqJyns
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6JRkwxqJ2s
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns3.144.30.109da2
