兩天後的星期六我們依照計劃,依序到預約的六處觀窩。我們這次的選擇皆為原區範圍內,因這區已是最方便我倆工作的選擇。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAa8rUPbzPpi
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAekeZQrQJgu
「起床了──插電掣。」我將食指及中指塞進豬鼻。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAkbxafyCEht
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAOI2bzzLmJ1
「嗚哇!!!」前豬蹄下意識以視覺難以捕捉的速度將我的手撥開,害我差點從床梯掉下去。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA1TXPXUbrWM
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAOX6zQtRDDm
「我說過多少次這不是插座啦!兩腳插座早已沒在使用啦!」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAvkDvWaRN4d
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAfYtJMsI8L7
「沒辦法,正午十二時前基本上只有這方法能即時把你弄醒。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAvJF9gKdCjs
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAzxLPZONkop
「為何要弄醒我?今天不用上班,而且我好像才睡了幾個鐘頭。」她半開著熊貓眼、抓了抓那把嚴重開叉兼乾旱的長髮,大概是忘了今日的任務。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAWC1M9b9rWr
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAiZ8pfTBTmC
「唉呀~要不~這樣,上午的~你~自己~看,記得~拍~個照,下午────的我──再跟你一起看──呀─嗚──」她打著呵欠半睡半醒,像說著夢話一般回應我。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAd6RuJ3O3p0
1896Please respect copyright.PENANApmJ7uUQnZs
我拉著她的腿,「哇!?你想怎樣?」她半反抗的把腿朝自己方向拉。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA7Abxrmg1dH
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAheOUktGkMs
「如果你再睡大概我看完黃昏的單位你才出得到門,要不索性都我自己看就好啦。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAkniD4uYemo
她聽罷不情願地慢速彎起腰,然後再加個大懶腰。1896Please respect copyright.PENANARHtBJOIRbh
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAgar4eQntRq
「唉──既然你這樣不信我,沒法子。但我也要先洗個澡,我可不保證自己會否洗到一半倒在廁所睡覺哦。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAH0rZ7Yo3Rl
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAR1l4FD6Byl
「別擔心,到時我會將門戍砸爛來拯救你。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAgIfkGX9eum
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA2aIoHu8nj4
她用力「唉」了幾聲、晃了腦袋幾下,最後不情願地攀下床。現在七時半,而第一個預約是在九時半……希望不會遲到。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAk0k9nECMG8
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAVX7oNnQFTS
九時十分出了門,我們先到樓下幾乎每天上班前都會光顧的連鎖便利商店吃了個急速早餐。灰濛濛天空下(不黑便是好天氣)的星期六街頭顯得頗為冷清,寥寥可數的途人幾乎是清一色老人。
位於小商場地鋪的便利商店面積不算小,但永遠只有一名員工值班,基本上收銀、上架、熟食都是一手包辦。幸好這區以老人為主,不然一定被輕則被扒竊、重則洗劫。而值早班的,是一名胖胖的中年大媽,聽其口音大概是塞納那的,南方語不太地道。
不過她看上去工作很賣力,至少鋪面每次看上去都很整潔,更重要是她很好客。1896Please respect copyright.PENANARW2rcv69vg
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAM8gypcjB4X
「哎唷──帥哥兒今天星期六都那麼早哦,是掛念我嗎?」中氣十足的大媽「呵呵」的笑著。我懷疑她是否對我有某種興趣……1896Please respect copyright.PENANAOh3DTCsyvj
1896Please respect copyright.PENANADssgMVeO2b
「咦──?你旁邊那個娃兒是誰?你的妞嗎?」大媽注意到我身旁的身影,然後狀態似乎比剛剛更HIGH 了。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAed3TRrG0g3
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAFsFwX6Lhcl
「不是。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAQxZhLxcMN2
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAr6m51BLqz7
「不是哦──」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAh4gNcfetYO
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAW11SLWUltZ
我倆臉帶點尷尬的否認,不過大媽似乎不以為然。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAUjA6wziGPX
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAHo2jKziBmN
「唉唷──連說話都這麼合拍還不承認?你倆口子也不是國中生啦,何必為這種事害羞呢──?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAxgSUjSoBGV
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAQOMJCRrXp9
大媽自顧自沈醉於自己的幻想中醒不了。我們沒有糾纏於此事,直接向她要了四個蒸包。大媽伸手進熱騰騰的蒸籠迅速取出四個包子,然後熟練的放進紙袋遞給我。1896Please respect copyright.PENANATaxsiaJFAW
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAk4M2Jmheou
「歡迎下次光臨──」1896Please respect copyright.PENANA3TiLezoMdn
1896Please respect copyright.PENANABG73RBxe6o
「謝謝。」我禮貌的回了一句。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAQynsotbeOP
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAFM60Bum8n2
「呵呵──哥兒你還真有禮貌,只有你會買完東西還跟我說謝謝。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANA7NvaCakG3V
1896Please respect copyright.PENANApBe5sy0knN
「習慣而已,沒特別意思。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAyzTOMnnhJl
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAbQmPj5cGIb
離開便利店後,我們邊走邊吃邊看著衛星地圖。手機投影出一個大箭頭指示我們前進的方向。我們越過幾條馬路與狹窄的橫巷,來到一棟外表與我們現在居住的地方半斤八兩的老舊公寓,箭頭閃著藍光指向入口,看來是這棟了。我跟業主通了個電話,然後上樓(幸好有升降機),看來一切如期。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAjf2WVNmBeu
1896Please respect copyright.PENANASxLVnHWVYs
公寓雖然舊了點,但看上去並無即時崩塌的危險,畢竟現況總不能指望很多業主會花錢做保修,死不了人就謝天謝地了。
我們看的單位在九樓,甫出升降機便發現走廊天花的燈最少壞了七成,還不說陣陣異味彌漫於這上崩下裂的髒走廊,媽啊......是垃圾積水長期沒清潔所形成的氣味。不過我們還是走去敲了個門,不消幾秒門就開了,眼前所見的大概就是業主,那傢伙最少有五十歲,也可能超過六十、重型地中海禿頭,而且只穿著一條四角褲跟人字拖,天氣原來有這麼炎熱……1896Please respect copyright.PENANApQ3lCNDoow
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAB42CWamxGC
「嗨──小鬼頭你就是那來要看單位的嗎?」依內容看應該是對我說的,但他那雙與臉完全不成比例的蛙眼從一開始就緊盯著我身後的傢伙上下掃視打量,看來他正在進行豬體測量,她似乎打了個顫。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA3SxUHNyQwC
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAxuiXSNILHh
「隨意看看吧──地方不算大,但足夠兩人居住有餘了。免傢俬費,月租公價(註1)再打個五折給你。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAsvdHcZn8Yh
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAATGEQBPCRU
我倆分頭四處望望看、敲敲看、拍拍照,這裡好處是有獨立房間,雖然廳較小,但廳很少用,所以沒差。排除那道嘔心的走廊,這裡比我們現居的更划算。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAvcGDv8YnM3
1896Please respect copyright.PENANApdf5iEXZSk
「豬頭,」我把她拉到廚房。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA6TjFqnyzg7
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAl2DpxHNppc
「這裡如何...…?」我們小聲的討論。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA0lIXynBuvg
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAT3EDUwdLbQ
「看起來相當划算,反正那道臭走廊嗅個一月半月就會習慣啦...…!」看來這裡是一個可行選擇,不過還是都看過一遍再決定吧。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAMVeGQD1CQ2
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA7S6WrNB91n
「房東先生,這價錢看上去不錯,但可先為我預留單位嗎?我明晚前可以給你答覆。」我稍稍恭維了他一下。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAmDrykjPHuF
1896Please respect copyright.PENANASbVVgznbbh
「沒問題。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAgzvghAIVkC
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAQfnsqUMjJk
然而,他著我走到他腳邊,朝著我的耳低喃──1896Please respect copyright.PENANAgjvJM2Rsa0
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAZTtki9VtYt
「要我以這價放租給你這小鬼不是不行,不過,你應該懂的……」他將手藏於我腰旁指了指另一人。1896Please respect copyright.PENANANLaktaH2YU
1896Please respect copyright.PENANADJUZJIHYjP
「你覺得這種事有可能嗎……先生你開玩笑吧……」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAN7G3JYkJMc
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAnpmfdDRQxI
「…...呵呵,你真不知還是假不知?今時今日為了租個窩而這樣做的多的是,你覺得有多少業主那麼傻真的依足規矩收租嗎?小鬼頭,我告訴你,一分錢,一分貨,那群靠打砸燒而當上官的瘋狗以為立兩道法例,就能把我們應得的錢都挖走嗎?如果小鬼你真的這樣想,你就真的太傻太天真了。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAatQPEfoSyS
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAGEVlVsqXN1
「好吧……其實我們沒要求過你減租,按公價就好……」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAT1eVIkSwU5
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAIBiutfoOpx
「不。」我未說完他便將我打住。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAMUIlmoOmEE
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAGYKkDgxLrT
「坦白說,租金多少是其次,反正今日放租已不是門賺錢生意,我亦不乏人問津,想法子獲取最大的好處才是出租房子的重點。要是你不答應的話,我也不讓你為難,但結果如何,你懂的。」老傢伙原本已夠猥褻的蛙臉咧嘴隱隱露出深沉的冷笑,直覺告訴我這傢伙不止是變態、似乎還很危險。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAStnOvNal2E
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA645F9UbF30
我回頭走向豬頭。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAsWb58QL1x4
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAmmXvdw6jEr
「走吧。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAj0Rht4wFIr
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAlihMtDYt7x
「咦──?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAEnGwWx5U9V
1896Please respect copyright.PENANALMwzMahKoo
「離開再說……」她維持著愕然的狀態被我硬拉出門。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAqVVeoUJtWH
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA90zi1ub0cN
「想清楚再找我吧。」這是離開此樓層前最後聽見的聲音。
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAEs4w9mLdXw
「哦──果然是個大變態,不過竟然連豬也有興趣,他會否是開屠房而非出租住宅的?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANA3HCZmfn4ZN
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAl1LkQsRaFR
「有可能。」我肯定地點了下頭。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAolyCZXQTPv
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAd2v8vu4bNy
「哈哈,可惜我是非賣品呢──找錯對象。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANARlQGXPSiQQ
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAfkNoU8uy61
她像在開其他人的玩笑一樣說著自己的事……是腦神經太粗還是...…?不論如何,我們又要去下個地點。
由於上個地點參觀時間比想像短,因此今次我們抵達後,房東仍未到達。我們在路邊呆了十五分鐘左右,身後傳來汽車引擎的隆隆巨響加上緊急剎車的高頻聲線。我們回頭一看,一個略胖的身影從紅得刺眼的四人車的司機座走出──1896Please respect copyright.PENANALIpC2v1p9T
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAiKIXEI1fNV
「哎呀──抱歉要你們久候了,怎麼不先到樓上等我呢?站在馬路旁吸廢氣對身子可不好哦──」那是一名頭披鋼絲刷、戴著上世紀風格的復古風眼鏡、身穿紅色蕾絲連身裙的大媽,看上去是個闊太。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAnj2p6ETwLS
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAjg2GWjA13f
我倆跟隨闊太走進大堂,這公寓比剛才那棟光鮮多了,至少沒有群燈閃爍的情況。單位的情況與剛才的大致相同,不過看上去更整潔,是最近才有人遷出嗎?1896Please respect copyright.PENANAdCD1BytioJ
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAwQVMHSzsGP
「看起來很整潔,我們應該會租下。租金是按公價計算嗎?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAMFFCYmLzjJ
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAfWL29QxYgj
「對哦~當然我也可考慮打個八折給你哦──」闊太以與其身份相稱的豪爽聲線回答。 奇怪,最近市況很差嗎?怎麼都遇著會打折的?1896Please respect copyright.PENANAyQKdOgoZh9
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAQu6OzsUX24
「先謝謝太太,我們應該會租這兒,明晚之前給你答覆可以嗎?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAkCiWYXkKnA
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAC3PsVt55Ha
「哦呵呵──當然沒問題!帥哥你太客氣了,真可愛。」闊太最後說出的三個字令我感覺到危機所在。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAg7lwdehd2H
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAYUod8y9oeJ
保險起見,我決定於離開前先試探一下。「太太,請問現在市道很差嗎…?為何還願意再減租…...」我在闊太的耳邊小聲問。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAPoodHqAH94
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA0Je4GPll7m
「哦~你想知道原因哦──?」我揮著手懇求她稍稍降低聲量再說。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA8JCzUgi1zt
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAVzygyMTXhw
「我想你應該猜到這兒空置的時間應該很短吧?沒錯,這裡最近才開始出租,而且我一直有上來打理。」然後闊太說出難以置信的事情來!……1896Please respect copyright.PENANAYDT16CUNr3
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA7wIWBtTizJ
「我就跟你說,」闊太繼續說,「這裡其實是我跟帥哥們的愛巢喔哦──老頭子經常要出差,加上,小帥哥你也明白啦,男人到了那種年紀就……所以我不時也會上來此單位的。所心吧,這些事我一定會保密,你的小女友不會知道的。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANA6bFsDjxcZm
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAux7CPvTEVf
她一臉害羞、扭轉著那肥腰細說。原來她不止是闊太,還是寂寞的闊太……1896Please respect copyright.PENANA7fcgee1I5W
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAdxSjv7M4Te
「……我明白了。你的好意我心領了。」我搖搖頭拒絕了她的好意。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAMw1UTRUVFL
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAs6wkLrZuPF
「呵呵…...那真可惜。不過小帥哥我想你應該明白吧,那麼多人想租屋,租金又只能收那麼便宜,我們當業主的,總不能靠擲骰子決定租給誰吧?那就唯有看誰能給出更好的其他回報囉。天下間沒有免費午餐的道理你明白吧?不止如此,天下間也沒有賠本出售的午餐,本最後一定要付,問題是誰付而已。」1896Please respect copyright.PENANADMCyGdzOmU
1896Please respect copyright.PENANABDSDFxgV96
我點頭微笑了一下。「豬頭,照舊。」她再次露出一副錯愕的表情,但這次她應該已猜到個大概,所以聽畢便輕快地跟我離開。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAZWw5FGkF15
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAXH0RDsoU0y
「哈哈哈──看來那闊太已在撒哈拉躺了起碼一月半月了哦──!不然怎麼連毫無線條美感的矮瓜也想吃呢?」豬頭笑得連身子也東倒西歪的嘲笑著。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAed8RXaUH3I
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAfhl29Z0QSe
「矮瓜可能就是這情況下的必須品……」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAqcIdpo6Tlc
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAt1dA7Rr0Ma
她聽畢起先呆了半秒,「也是呢──呵呵呵呵──……」然後咀角隱隱露出猥瑣的笑容…1896Please respect copyright.PENANAAG59bmzHfh
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAsHaSyFIU7B
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAAsCwjkdg0P
就這樣,我們馬不停蹄的四處觀窩,連午餐也是邊走邊吃。我們去小丑頭買了兩個漢堡、一杯清水跟汽水,然後一邊走一邊大口大口撕咬著漢堡哥的身體。下午的情況跟上午比也不遑多讓──1896Please respect copyright.PENANAjANq7JcIIq
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAm3QowjUJGF
「變態!」啪嘞!!,「嗚喔──!!」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAm4pXgkygpy
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAJLQJoUNlEP
「臭大叔你再這樣我就斷你的鳥!」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAbYw0W5ORqc
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAU2VaoPXlbG
「你這瘋娘白吃的!老子我就算把屋燒掉也不會租給你們!滾!!」1896Please respect copyright.PENANArSDvC1ejA4
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAmyLq7z16c4
「抱歉哩──我也沒興趣租你的破屋,你快點燒掉它吧,要順手幫你你買點汽油麼?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAMQeP2ub3lE
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAgIuKrXNGwG
「好了好了,別浪費時間,走吧!」我連忙拉著豬頭離開並向那中年大叔賠個罪。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA2O0Eout8x2
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAOd5YSlymLT
「我看你這變態永遠也放不出租的!」縱使俾我拉著,她仍絲毫霸氣不減的邊往後退邊咆哮著。1896Please respect copyright.PENANA9SupqNmmWk
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAjeiXWgjwPM
「哼,我的客多的排著隊任我挑!」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAcFZESdM3FF
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAFaYMlaCoky
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAyepbbcUb4F
「這個…請問是否忘了開燈…...?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAjLUmgqEwwn
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAzFjx4DUjlk
「哦喔……看來是喔……」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAq6QijfMdXL
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAwf9QEzi6s3
老太太以比蝸牛還要快的高速度蠕動到可能是燈掣的位置,然後「啪」的一聲,某處亮起了微弱的白光,大概是廚房的位置。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAzVc6ZGJaLy
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAgGpBnCmVmJ
「請問廳燈呢...…?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAr0wd0tiJcT
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA0IlN535VJ3
「甚麼…...?」老太太可能是聽不清,1896Please respect copyright.PENANAsrb4F6WTml
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAAC6P7UJK7q
「請──問──可──以──開──啟──廳──燈──嗎──?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAoEfYq4kULv
1896Please respect copyright.PENANABVTyxcF9e8
「哎,我不是聾的,你這麼大聲幹嘛?!」老太太語帶不滿的回應我。1896Please respect copyright.PENANAjJL3UdgD2T
1896Please respect copyright.PENANA5qtRyxL6hw
「這裡只有廚房燈未壞,其他的你們要用就自行安裝吧…小姐我可沒那些閒工夫去弄這弄那了……」故此,我們只好靠著手機的照明視察這裡的環境。我們發覺,自己有如某宗謀殺案的探員一樣,我們利用手機狹窄範圍的燈光,嘗試一步一步還原整個兇案現場的圖像──地板散佈落零落的雜物,可能是傢俱的殘片,差點絆到腳。梳化像被尚未知曉的兇器砍擊過,所有痕跡均最少由三道以上的平行直線構成,看來兇徒是單手使用複數刀具或爪的高手。不只梳化,幾乎所有我們看的見的傢俱也有類似痕跡,看來這裡曾發生相當激烈的打鬥。我們還留意到有一些不規則形狀的破洞及崩裂位,看來是被撕咬的痕跡。我們躡手躡腳、小心翼翼的繞過腳下一件又一件的證物,終於到達其中一間房的門前,我們輕力推門推開──1896Please respect copyright.PENANA95dCQxcjx8
1896Please respect copyright.PENANANWhpljKxvO
「吱吱?」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAT8rDHZavLF
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAJaMEwtdOku
「嗚哇!!!!!──」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAordy8DedTr
1896Please respect copyright.PENANAi6E2sAOOMe
理應只存在於屠房的嚎叫聲震動全屋,聲音的來源連滾帶跑的掉頭走,還差點被地上的雜物絆倒了,不過我拉了拉住她。「小妞你瘋了嗎──!?小姐我都說了我不是聾的!你想喚我也不用叫那麼大聲吧!」1896Please respect copyright.PENANAIlt0vgBAIK
1896Please respect copyright.PENANARQ0GLYTINZ
「抱歉,抱歉。」我向老太太賠了個不是。「我們需要一點時間考慮,有需要我們再聯絡你,今天打擾了。」
「你說什麼──?」老太太又問我一次。
唉……
註:
[1]政府對所有工業大廈及私人住宅實行租金管制。因此以呎租計,幾乎所有住宅的租金也相同(即收取法定上限),所以住宅租金理論上是全市劃一的,即市場共識的所謂公價。
ns216.73.216.215da2