The song for this post is: What if God was One of Us
I never thought I would find myself writing a post like this, but here I am. For quite some time now, I've come to a staggering realization: I no longer believe in the church. For me, this decision didn't come lightly, but it stems from observing how the institution seems to operate today. 😢
The church, in my view, no longer serves the purposes of God or provides real value to anyone seeking spiritual nourishment. Yes, there are a few individuals who appear to be thriving in their church environments, but I question the authenticity of that experience. It seems that many of them go with the flow, seldom questioning the teachings or practices enforced by their leaders. This tendency to accept things without scrutiny plunges them into a comfortable bubble where they rarely think for themselves. 🤔
Now, let me clarify a term: *modus operandi*. This Latin phrase translates to “method of operating” and is often used to describe someone's habits or methods of working. Unfortunately, I've noticed that some congregations adhere to a specific modus operandi that discourages questioning, exploration, and personal growth. They can inadvertently smother the very essence of what spirituality should be all about. 🌱
I was once part of that system. I allowed myself to become complacent, to fit into the mold that was presented to me. In doing so, I let people down, and moreover, I was let down myself. I strayed from the rules—yes, I admit that. But the harsh treatment I received for my missteps felt incredibly disproportionate. It felt as if my humanity was erased in the process.
One of the most critical aspects I’ve come to understand is this: When someone apologizes, it is not your role to determine their sincerity. Only God has that power. We don’t get to play judge over others’ hearts. That’s a heavy burden to carry, and it's not something I believe we’re called to do. 🙏🏼✨
I recall a specific incident that threw me into turmoil. I posted something political—a rare occurrence for me (Yeah right) (I accidently clicked on the church group when I was sharing to multiple people, they also claimed it was not an accident, so they can talk to God about that, I am done with their shit.)—and when I sheepishly apologized with a "Sowwy," I was met with skepticism. The playful, cutesy side of me seemed to be dismissed as insincere. But let me be clear; when I say something, I mean it! Cutesy is just who I am. 💖
But instead of understanding and compassion, my church community questioned my intentions, which ultimately sparked a deep frustration within me. I felt attacked, and in retaliation, my anger erupted. I expressed my feelings to the leadership instead of shutting down, leading to a cascade of conflicts. A part of me wishes I could take back those moments, but the other part recognizes that this emotional explosion was a reflection of my pent-up dissatisfaction with the church as a whole. 😤🔥
At the end of the day, I’ve come to realize that faith should be lived authentically and joyfully—not bound by fear of judgment or the need for conformity. I crave a community where questioning is welcomed and where individual experiences of God can be shared openly.
If you're reading this and feel similarly disillusioned, know that you are not alone. It’s okay to step away from the confines of a structure that doesn’t serve your spirit. It’s okay to seek out new ways to connect with the divine! ✨
I want to encourage others who may be wrestling with their faith or feeling trapped in an unfulfilling church environment. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, to seek the truth, and ultimately to embrace the journey of spiritual growth—wherever that may lead you.🚀
Remember, your spirituality is yours alone. Take ownership of it, and don't let anyone dictate your path! 💜
#FaithJourney #SpiritualGrowth #QuestionEverything #Authenticity #FindingYourPath #LivingInTruth
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