很久很久沒有寫文章了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn5XIq3bQTE
就像之前短篇的敘事，並非是美好而溫馨的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT6mqYfhgja
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『世界上最遙遠的距離』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFqN8rQbzyx
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所以我看著你對著別人露出，那不再屬於我的笑容。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBWYvvYc0s
在你身後的我咬唇，轉身離開了那裡。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStUkS3VDOQ
不能後悔。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt1SGK50xR
不能怨恨。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLhTdMjaLR
不能再想。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAGWx0GvAP
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因為。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6GVDOp4DX
是我先推開了你給予我的擁抱。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBWxDYsBQHD
拒絕了你對我的情感。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIi3nseisZw
忽視了你眼底的情慾。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeh1HXyQcv
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因此。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBZTN7qqmS
我怎麼能哭泣。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw0IBJigHXg
我怎麼能悔恨。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSQ10o2CYZ
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因為是我自己造成這一切的啊。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaJPaIoRdA
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「明明做那樣選擇的是自己，可為什麼還是感到了悔恨。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1DLCaMmxd
「拒絕了你之後才愛上你。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOVeemTkUH
「這樣的我令人厭惡。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76EcZI120s
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*40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEI9oKygqd
錯過與放棄。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsayFkv440s
於是悔恨交織。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0EOqMkUVfP
如果雙方都互相喜歡，但在不對的時間說了同樣的話，那麼結局終究也只是失去。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49iD5dr17s
但造成這種局面的卻是自己。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpUzn8j6PX
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0240Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8yBNwMWJv
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『If……』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5QVrIPb71V
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基爾伯特忽然頓住，熱燙的淚液毫無預警的自他頰面滑下，五臟六腑彷彿抽離血液似的，壓迫他喉嚨，使他急促地呼吸著。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLhiFUyAQ1
半晌，在這沒有任何人存在的家中，他漸漸地停止了哭泣。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3dwJxQKeU
望著淌滿自己體液的手，基爾伯特緩緩勾起一抹笑，眼裡模糊成晶亮的光景，閃爍著鑽石色彩。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiTWq1ZFXV
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如果任何淚水都是有理由的話。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR9VmyhG59J
那麼，基爾伯特兀自忖思，他這種毫無緣由乍然傾瀉的疼痛，又代表著什麼。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hSbBY4s1g
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*40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xbrUpTtcW
寫完後，友人看完之後畫了r18的圖........為什麼會是這種感想呢？（苦笑40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTHbb01vKR
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『給十年後未來的你』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM95FMdQhiw
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『WEST！我們到樹下埋寶藏吧！』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrfuTNes3p
活在記憶中地嗓音依然清晰如昨。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn26UMD7bg8
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那時才剛結束分裂局面，國內一切都不穩固，有天兄長忽然很開心的拉著他手徑往外衝，手裡還拿著一罐玻璃瓶，透明的瓶子可見折半的白紙。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRYzSHl6nYF
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『你要記得十年之後再打開喔。』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2yq9htEVs
那天午後的天氣十分的溫暖，沐浴在彷佛受神祝福的光輝下，由於掘土而整張臉髒呼呼的兄長掛著笑容，一邊叮囑著他。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCZ1gPAupW
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那時他究竟回答了些什麼呢……？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbRZYi2xjoa
至今回想卻支離破碎。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBiNxA49uvz
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唯一記得的是在那一場日光中，他眼淚似乎就要因為日光而融化出眼眶的疼痛。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1SMi22nMY
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如果存在的奇跡是真的存在的話。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUlomGx84CW
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那麼，那一天之後就是盡頭了吧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHvMfl9Asp
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早就該死亡了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadWdKCObXO
早就該離開了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHMiAhojUu
早就……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDd8GpHZt9
早就什麼也無法碰觸了……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL5fhuaKtv
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重逢後的每一天清晨醒來看見兄長安然無恙的睡躺在他身旁時都是奇跡。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0JqmINyQPv
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他們能夠的相處的時間那麼少，少到讓他後悔莫及。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7PdywL6mJ
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為什麼不早這樣做呢……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCvIaFJR5S
為什麼不能忍耐呢……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Sj0T84WoT
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一個失去人民與國土的國家，究竟能走到什麼地步……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHHOY6gbbs
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『不要哭。』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvJqbV9Gr7
最後，兄長只是這麼說。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtUpinMJBRc
在風雪漸大的夜裡，在背後閃耀著五顏六色的煙花中這般輕喃。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4VKcsxg6iQ
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那之後他仍舊過著一樣的日子。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExvdXH0Sfl
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只是再也沒有人在家裡等他，再也沒有人在耳邊吵鬧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwxOyQnl9B
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到底過了多久呢？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡww4EWBq9xI
也許久到他連幾年都不記得了吧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDjlM4X0kG
他總是覺得兄長還存在在任何地方，只是他找不到罷了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7V6AeB0m2
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於是忽然那麼一天他想起那一個寶物。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXNHj3xmLh
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當時候的他寫了給未來的信件，那麼兄長一定也寫了什麼吧……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBbkFuzZin
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他拼命的挖土。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmpt1Wofj2
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不過幾分，鐵制的蓋子便從泥裡翻出。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCUazhP52C
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他費力的扭轉生銹的圓蓋，然後拿出放在裡面的信件。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIK85TLUfjl
他第一個就翻開了兄長的信件，想看看兄長寫了什麼，卻愕然的啞口。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDqRGAs8Zy
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那是一面白紙。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjSHx7RaFG
由於在土裡待著，染上了土黃的 斑點。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPFBfkapPI
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上頭甚麼也沒有寫。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9qrACPl0MF
空白的，就像不曾有筆跡存在過。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14byl4ErVg
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『不要哭。』腦裡不斷地迴響著兄長的聲音。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMY7JAuXRS
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他臉上卻佈滿了淚痕。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvUrkTEYkB
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*********40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOlbfWmRE3
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看新聞有感。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqqMlpOd8D
新聞描述的非常哀傷，但我卻想到會不會是因為埋的人早就知道自己不存於世所以什麼也不寫，因為已經沒有未來了。所以寫甚麼都只是惘然。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgWxWRH2TM
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0440Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEGALgeiNK
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「關於雪的聯想」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpluDn3r11
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關於雪的記憶，充滿著童話與火爐，天冷時的熱飲，依偎在你懷裡聽著你美好的聲音。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJTZYtDB4sd
那時總是小，張著眼只注視得到你，伸出手也只能觸碰到你滿佈繭的掌。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAokb137oVD
乾澀的，卻熱和著。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdv3MArcRp
『你聽』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDyvaGdcl0
你抱著我幼小的身軀，指腹抹過窗戶。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoggH2O7CJ
『雪聲落下來時候，是像這樣，一閃一閃的響著喔』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoL2VQITJg
室內的火材劈啪地冒出零星火花。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXr6Q7R8xn3
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0540Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4DVC14jmT
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『踏雪無聲』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUybOM1R9Vr
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乍然寂靜無聲。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG0xZL8CLQ0
路德維希倏地轉身，一片銀白雪亮，折射著夜裡的月色，令人刺目。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4L6g8qiFBV
他張大眼，張口不能言。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AogE6fPsB
方才和他說話的兄長消失的無影無蹤，明明還有餘溫的聲音，卻消失了，而在他身後蜿蜒的只有他一個人的足跡。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwpzOx87PnY
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「遙遠的童話故事」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS33wvYFLa8
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第一次看完索多瑪的120天的那陣子，只要他每天一想起片段都會忍不住嘔吐，即使他燒了書也無法竭止嘔出穢物的反胃。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8ATAvUc2D
現在他已經想不起故事，彷彿刻意消除痕跡似的，除了殘留在口腔裡膽汁的回憶之外，他腦中裡沒有任何關於故事的字句。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoen5j2jbe
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQmvNaCUEs
可即使一切什麼也不記得，但那種深深地醜陋情感卻扎根在他身體各位，完全無法擺脫。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzmxLLETpm
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0740Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFH8SQiu0YM
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『請幸福的……』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4cIrZHfMG
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnUGc90mdv
如果那一天到來，不要挽留我。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtuPItUJVV
請你自由的、幸福的跟另外一個人生活下去吧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSruJwMtAi2
我會在那裏望著你，微笑的，流淚的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMnHeYbb19e
因為我從來就沒有資格擁有你，我只是自我滿足的活在自己認為的幸福時光裡罷了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKSC1AkKNr
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DmGO097V5
奢望什麼的也只是虛幻。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipfdaTdu1O
我無法相信話語的真實。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUktezOFB7w
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MzB4xadjN
我知道，你愛我。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ23OyiTHm
可是「我愛你」，這是親人間也會說的話。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY58XAtsSi
我當然也從你口裡聽到。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sOrB7YrYW
在早上醒來時給我的早安吻，在下午你歸來的玄關門口的吻，在夜裡沉睡前的晚安吻。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuS8NINOoYE
你總是會說：「我愛你。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIPXyHfPZ7
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDYq32dL8E
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NMwPWRqTn
是的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwpzjY46fv
你是愛我的，可是你不是愛我的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WFmbxkTbc
那並非是我自己誤解。我總是看著你，總是微笑的看著，總是嬉鬧的看著你，總是在戰爭裡看著你。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQGrSTosJ9
我無時不刻的看著你。所以很清楚，比你自己還清楚你自己。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PF3A9f0Vp
我們之間緊緊聯繫的，不過是名為親情的愛情。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAygZb9eiNP
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0840Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFQLaNseoh
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『後日談』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF3WtlDdAvy
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「喜歡你喔」他這麼說。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWp6OMP9z8o
他不著痕跡的回望，面前的兄長哼著歌。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUXpsjHt7S
然後他又重複了一次。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY906Q9t7sZ
「嗯」即使那是沒有任何感情、單調的話語，只是重複音節發生振動的合成。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt57NdweISA
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhFdNsAn1R
喜歡你喔，所以不會愛你喔。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q3q3EZW5R
基爾伯特哼著不成調的小曲，臉上滿是笑意。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjJGbnCqxo
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvE4exjc4M
不知道什麼時候發現到的，可是已經為時已晚，那時兄長早就笑容滿面的將他從愛情裡排拒開。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl94yjgT4Gs
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0940Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagQBhZDvvm
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「十年」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrXDJkqaQl
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有一天他從廣播聽見一首來自東方國度的歌，淳厚的男歌手看似平淡的唱著那歌詞。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngAIZHv8f7
曲終時候，他忽然淚流滿面。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAHCnZwFnw
就在他幾乎無法反應的片刻。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0PouGyDvp
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WZD0sjeaX
熱辣的液體不斷從體內湧出，喉嚨彷彿被壓抑著，嘶啞不成調。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCJL2WdReL
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因為太感同身受了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7w4iy0hjN
他和路德分開的時間以人類而言是那麼久，自然，有很多事情已經不像他記憶那樣的美好。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA4pib0hyyj
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcBxadDZipY
幾十年前他們是兄弟是親人，所以能夠牽手，能夠擁抱，能夠親吻。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4HhcVYDSl
現在，他們仍然是親人、兄弟，可以牽手、擁抱，但卻也沒有親吻過彼此。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuam3YVR6S
就像是緊守著什麼界線，彼此誰也沒有越過的意思。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSq8gJUVOgF
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6GE4TPBZL
只是一廂情願的愛戀罷了。基爾伯特淺笑地望著窗外那一片青空。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJ1MBYAbsV
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yXH1NFSLv
那些在彼此生命裡空白的日子，他就像是戀愛的人一樣，一直渴望著見到他，一直在被剝削的勞力中自我安慰，一直、一直維持著自己的意志，在配合可笑的服從中，盡力維持著自己的意識，也許是曉得一旦遺忘，他就再也不可能回到路德身邊的緣故。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgZRcQEgcS
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqw5M3U8xkW
但像這種自以為是的愛情，怎麼可能會得到相等的回報？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdwcqMoWQw
他似乎想的太過美好了，就像那道牆破碎以後，就認為一切都可以海闊天空，哪知道，無論在哪都沒有差。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xu2CEM6kx
他始終是，一個人。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvydKluqZZy
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRpbj2QGov
他卻天真以為，能夠讓對方愛上自己。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HFBXBbajA
明明他們之間除了兄弟的親情之外，什麼也不剩。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoLJI1Q1eP
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『 』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3JYGUJbGb
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他決定要去旅行。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHl9m66dGLN
趁著那一天弟弟加班的日子，他簡單收拾了行李，和家裏養著的狗一一道別之後，他關上家門，最後看了一眼他一定不會再開啟的門，而後邁步往街上走去。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeUNIPYJpU
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3xxIuMEOtC
路德也許會生氣吧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCtiWE1zHP
基爾伯特悠閒地走在路邊，一邊淡淡想著。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZpvmIu1mM
不過，他不會解釋的，也不會後悔的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrt7doeGHL
哼著不知打哪學會的曲調，午後的陽光撒在他背上，熠熠生輝。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuRbrU0l10K
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CvDVk4PNU
路德維希一如往常因為加班的緣故晚到了家。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuHpEKjgGq
在還沒打開家門口的時候，他還在想要怎麼跟兄長解釋，然後一開門入眼的卻是一整片黑暗。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMv76CMhxX8
他思緒有些混雜的楞在家門口，半晌無法言語。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOWyz5i3Wv
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZAh6IfP3l
家裏養著的三隻狗衝上前趴住他。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE53YuI7bt3
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylmW2NSdfq
基爾伯特的身影幾乎消失。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIjOZSdNOS
那之後他走遍了住家周圍，甚至在後面幾天不斷搜尋著，用網路、用人力，但是彷彿電腦裡的資料被消除後的乾淨，到處都找不到他的兄長，雖然偶而會接獲零星的消息說在哪有誰曾見過他的行蹤，他也曾前往該地，但一切一切卻像是被嘲笑一樣的徒勞無功。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjIHxBjTQq6
他感到十分焦躁，甚至湧上不安的思緒。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBeHm8lpvQ
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIdrRVkQJ8J
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHV6X3bSYUd
「你有見過這個男人嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2d33MCniI
他在街上隨意攔截了某位路人，並從懷裡掏出那張因為過於頻繁使用充滿皺摺的相片問著對方。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Fd8WhYHNU
搖搖頭，被他攔下的人表示從未見過。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3NY45lEQq
「……謝謝。不好意思，打擾您的時間了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5H6gBrgZdq
也許是疑惑，離開前那路人還頻頻回望他幾眼，大約是在想這人是怪人嘛，尋人這事不是要找警察解決的嗎。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc54Nmpqt2L
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdYYur6VGB
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86ONcVBq7q
他收起相片，忖思。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD0Y0OOqGg
已經找了這麼多年，從那天兄長消失在家中開始，他就拿著這張很久前兄長拍攝下的個人照，在他放假時候到各個地點去尋找。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQf5s0STEXm
但是，得到的答案總是千篇一律，他們從未見過他。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsP8AWsSWcT
伊莉莎白跟羅德里赫也勸過他該放棄了，因為死心總比冀望那幾乎不存在的希望來的好。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5usHLt1jjs
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdxuCX3gxt
也許是該放棄的時候了。ns3.134.92.188da2
