《一百個斷尾故》 - [Story 39－心理陰影]

一個人行到返嚟學校，啲同學都用上奇怪嘅目光望住我...

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而且仲竊竊私語咁...

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我唔想理佢哋咁多...只係抵住頭咁行...

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但喺我腦海就好似聽到佢哋不停咁講“係佢吖...係佢吖...就係佢喇...”...“估唔到佢仲會返嚟...”...“俾我都唔知仲點返嚟喇！”...“唔係話好似請咗成個月假咩？”...“喂唔好講喇...佢望過嚟...”...“咁真係好爆吖嘛！”...

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就算俾我走返入班房...坐返埋自己位...都好似被奇怪嘅目光包圍住咁...

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好辛苦...好難受！根本就冇辦法聽書！更冇辦法面對同學！

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小息又好...Lunch又好...我都自己一個...匿埋又好！避開又好！

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我就只可以自己一個...

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但天意弄人...越係唔想見人...就越係會見到...甚至係你最唔想見到嘅人！

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喺學校嘅角落，竟然俾我見到Wendy同鄭Sir傾得好似好親密咁！

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你拍吓我！我又拍吓你！有講有笑！

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然後鄭Sir拍拍Wendy膊頭離開。

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呢個Wendy...呢個八婆！

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『你呢個專搞男人嘅八婆！』我怒氣沖沖咁走埋去Wendy面前！『又想搞其他男人呀？』

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「Wincy？」Wendy打量住我，「搞男人又有乜問題吖？」

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『搞男人有咩問題？你搞我爸爸吖！』我一巴就車落Wendy塊面！

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「我同你爸爸搞過...話晒都叫係你半個阿媽吖！」Wendy又一巴車落我塊面！

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『你痴線㗎！』我捉住Wendy把頭髮！

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「痴線又點呀？！」Wendy又扯我件校服！

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我哋兩個又打又摑又扯又踢咁！攬埋一舊互毆！

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好快就驚動到唔少同學圍觀！又好快就驚動到老師！

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最後我哋兩個都被帶到入去訓導室。

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訓導主任望住我哋兩個，明顯就唔知應該點做好。只係講咗幾句：「我知你哋兩個嘅事...明白你哋嘅感受...但打交始終都唔啱...都係要罰...」

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罰？罰咩都好啦！反正我就唔在乎！

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但問題係就算要點罰Wendy，都平息唔到我對佢嘅怒火！

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Wendy呢種淫娃蕩婦...點解唔浸佢豬籠呀？！

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返到屋企...只係得返我同媽咪兩個...爸爸早就搬走咗...

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唔係媽咪趕佢走...而係佢帶住內疚咁離開...

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講真我都唔想對住佢！甚至我驚咗佢！

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佢竟然同一個同佢個囡一樣大嘅女仔搞埋一齊！我覺得好恐怖呀！佢會唔會都想搞我㗎？！

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所以媽咪要同佢離婚，我都贊同！

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變態嘅男人...真係好恐怖...

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而我都唔想再喺嗰間學校讀書！媽咪都幫我轉去另一間學校...係一間男女校。

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「呢位係新同學譚詠詩～」班主任將我介紹俾同學認識，「大家都要好好幫新同學適應～」

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喺班上，男同學佔大多數...

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我總係唔敢同佢哋對上眼...

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「你好吖～」坐喺我隔籬嘅男同學帶住微笑，「我叫陳永賢～可以叫我Winfried㗎～」

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『哦哦...Winfried...叫我Wincy得喇...』就算係坐正喺我隔籬...我都唔敢望佢一眼...

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總係覺得好奇怪...啲男同學好奇怪...

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其實都唔止係男同學...就連啲阿Sir都好奇怪...

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總係覺得啲阿Sir會搞學生...想搞我！

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「Wincy？」班主任喺小息嘅時候行埋嚟，「返咗一個禮拜學，慣唔慣吖？」

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『嗯嗯...』我反射之下都退後兩步！

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「嗯...」班主任點點頭，「有啲咩唔明都可以問吓同學喎～」

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『嗯嗯...知道...』我點點頭後，就急急腳轉身走！

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好恐怖...啲阿Sir都好恐怖！唔知望緊你邊度！唔知佢哋對你嘅身體幻想緊啲乜！

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已經過咗一個禮拜...但我都係融入唔到...

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啲男同學就無須多講...連女同學我都唔想同佢哋來往！

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我唔想再有好姊妹！好姊妹會同爸爸搞埋一齊！

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之但係...Winfried總係好似好關心我...

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「Wincy？有冇功課唔識？我可以教你喎～」

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總係主動撩我講嘢...

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「Wincy～一唔一齊食Lunch吖？」

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見我一個人，就會走埋嚟...

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「Wincy～放咗學得唔得閒吖？一唔一齊食甜品？有間甜品好好食㗎～係喎...都唔知你鍾唔鍾意食甜品添～」

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對我好似好熱情咁...我就好驚！好怕！

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都唔知佢想點！做乜總係要問咁多！知我咁多嘢！

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我唔想多講...對住Winfried又好...對住其他同學又好...

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我只想靜靜自己一個...我唔想同其他人有任何交流！

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『媽咪我返嚟喇...』放學都係返屋企好...

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「返嚟喇？」媽咪強顏歡笑，「返學返成點吖？」

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『OK吖～幾好吖～』我都唔想令媽咪擔心...增添佢嘅煩惱..

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「嗯～」媽咪點點頭，「嚟緊我都想搵返份工...你OK嘛？」

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『OK～OK～只要媽咪唔辛苦就OK...』

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「傻女～媽咪點會辛苦呢～」

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嚟緊嘅日子都只有我同媽咪...

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我唔可以令媽咪擔心咁多...

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努力讀書...做好功課...專心喺學業上...然而交際方面仲係零進展...不論係同同學...定係阿Sir...

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「今個禮拜六得唔得閒吖？」Winfried仲係好積極咁，「我哋成班想約出嚟BBQ...」

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『唔得閒...』我執好嘢就急急腳咁趕住離開班房！

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縱使逢禮拜六日我都係喺屋企又好...又或者好似而家咁，漫無目的咁喺人群之中行...行...我都係一個人...

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究竟點解...點解呢個世界上嘅人咁可怕？

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原來我一直生存喺一個咁可怕嘅世界上...

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突然...

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「Wincy？」背後傳嚟Winfried把聲。

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我回頭一望，見到Winfried行近兩步。

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「咁啱嘅？」Winfried再行近兩步，「一個人？一唔一...」

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『點解吖...』我冇等到Winfried再講落去...

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「吓？」Winfried一頭問號...

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『點解...點解吖？！』我一轉身就跑！

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「Wincy...喂！」

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我乜都唔理！一直跑！喺人群之間橫衝直撞！

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點解吖？點解要黐住我？點解點跑都跑唔甩？身邊都係咁多人...跟住我...圍住我？！

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我拼命咁跑！想逃離人群！突破包圍！

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然後真係俾我突破到！衝出人群！我就聽到...

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“嗶！嗶！”兩聲！

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我一望之下...就見到有好光嘅車頭燈...一架紅色車正衝緊埋嚟！

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[Story 39－心理陰影]

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