When I was making love to Chris! I could not help being watched as there was someone or something who was watching us! But I tried not to thing of that feeling as I want to make love Chris passionately for to celebrate my verdict of not guilty! But there in the back of my mind there was still a since of foreboding! I tried to ignore it and was about to stick my head out the window and say "get the fuck off" to whoever was watching.....but no one was there! It was starting to aggravate me!
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So I tried to go back to bed .....but that feeling of being watched was going to become a delusion! I thought! As stress was toxic for the pass few days with out my Chris! How was the stress supposed nto manifest it's self in delusion! But I new it was not just the fucking stress! It was going to be the beginning of many ends and firsts! Creepy endings and some positive firsts! But how was I knowing all this!
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Was the wendigo using telepathy to get into my head! It was known do to that as well as nightmare inducing powers! How do I know was the fact that I grow up with the ledgend of the wendigo! But was it comming for me or worse Chris! I was not going to find out my self the hard way like with Trudy I wasn't going to take a chance! Not with Chris's life I could not handle losing someone else that was important to me!
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After I will I say that this was when of the powers of the wendigo! Nightmare causing abilities, that are beyound comprehension! That was when the sun was in my eyes at the time of 8 in the morning! I shot upmand saw that Chris was just getting up.....it was just a fucking neightmare! As I found that the days and nights pasted. I found that the nights were dread full for me! Nightmare after nightmare and delusion after delusion was the traumatic year coming to a head in my mind! I did not want to tell but I told Chris about these beliefs I have been having!
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That was when I decided to seek help but that was just talking I needed to get rid of the entity on my own! How was I going to do that I was not a shaman! But just a criminal lawyer....howwas going to take on the fucking wendigo!
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The psychiatrist said that this was also stress from losing Trudy to the serial killer! But I did not believe it even though the death of Trudy was downright traumatic as I loved her! I wanted to start a life with her! And that was taken away from me by the damn wendigo! That fucking thing! How I hated it!
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Had it not been for the wendigo she would have been alive and I was going to make the bench! But as I said that felt like an illusion as well even though it was fact! Was I developing wendigo psychosis, but the diagnosis was ptsd and post traumatic psychosis! A rare thing my shrink said, also could've been sleep deprivation as well! I was going to find that this was going to be both PTSD and psychosis as well as sleep deprivation!
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When I went to go,to bed that night I slept like a log! But dreaded what was waiting for me at the end of the slumber! But when I woke up there was Chris getting ready for work! I was going to visit him at lunch but how would that turn out!
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Well today was the day I was going to purpose to Chris Mendeleev! I wanted to started something with him that I couldn't with Trudy! A life as well a law practice! He could see the love in my eyes as well as the calmness as well! But I was able to think straight for once!
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When I went to his office I was crying the ring! And the I was able to see him there at the front door! I was able to purpose to him and make love to him in the privacy of his office!
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This was the first day of sanity!
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