（第一部小說）壹。愛情小說《甄。別》 - 哥哥的徵婚啟事（二）

這....

哥...

反正，小說我給你了！！

您，叫你的兄弟幫你說！

好不！！

啊不然..

酒喝來幹嘛#$%^&**

真。是。的！！

正事要緊啦！！

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脩！！

哥...

好，正式出版的路

不適合！！

好！！

那

我就在時空裡鬼扯！！

您，委託您的兄弟

幫你說！！

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我願意成為您

找到下一個她之前的她

或

永遠的你的她

反正

哥

你快樂就好

明白嗎？

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這也是我對你的愛

沒有條件

不求回報

永遠的

瘋子朋友啊！！

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哥康泰

足矣！！

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哥哥...

化名是「伉哥哥」

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筆名陳飛

是黑道大哥

年輕時

因江胡恩怨而喪偶！！

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這部小說

是他的翦愛影

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我是他妹妹

鄭玉晴

筆名蔡玫君

化名寧妃/葉華齡

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我的小說

<哥哥的徵婚啟事>

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「伉哥哥」先生！！

註：皆是化名！

杜伉先生的徵婚啟事，意者洽伉哥哥！！

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有緣人，就找得到，我的哥哥唷！！

祝褔...

有情人終成眷屬！！

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哥哥..

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我剛幫你出版了..

YA！！

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時空真好！！

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生活中

有任何妖魔鬼怪

嫁禍給我！

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順便叫你兄弟

幫你宣傳一下我的

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就說

是你妹妹寫的

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這樣..

嘿

不就一舉兩得！

吼..

如何

我很聰明吧！！

之所以

不能走正常出版路線

正是因

您身份特別

而為了保護你

也保護自己不被讀者霸凌

僅出版小說

反正

我一毛錢也沒賺到

那

誰管我！

哭搜

是小說的權利啊！！

我正好！

鬼扯一輩子

哥哥永永遠遠都我的！

這真是棒呆了！！

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哥哥...

謝謝你...

怕我受傷...

現在才解除封鎖！

細細地保護著我

到現在

我情願

當你一生的女主角

守護者你

一輩子！！！！

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哥哥...

真的

我願意幫忙您

找到適合你的她

我不是不肯

而是

我是病人

可能無法完全滿足你！

而你想想

若是您

天天看我躺平

病懨懨的樣子

久了你受得了嗎？

那我

好意思嗎？？

所以哥...

我請八里療養院的心理師幫忙

討論一下

出版事宜！

我的序會這樣寫：

角色校稿如下

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哥哥...

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愛不是佔有！！

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哥...

最了解你的女性朋友

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恐怕就是我了！！

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欸...

那，我不幫你說

您要怎麼找到女朋友呢？？

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真是的！

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我可不希望

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您

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一輩子

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孤孤單單啊！！

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我只知道

您希望我明白

你愛我！

以慰你在天之靈！

對不起

我或許是太嚴厲了

失去你

我溫柔不起來

怕你太寂寞

沒有我陪你鬼扯

又不能睡了

所以

又再次像鬼魅般黏著你

就當我是個妓女吧！

對你需索無度也沒關係

反正我也不是甚麼聖女

我也沒比你好到哪

我也只是個瘋子

還是個廢人

現實生活中

我無法給你甚麼啊

纏著你要幹嘛

連你都這樣躲著我了

我有必要再這樣做賤自己嗎

我情願我是賤的！！

只甘願

我餘生

留下思念的空間給你

想念的權限

總比

再次讓你失眠好吧！！

一輩子

直等到

您有了

下一個她為止

我巴不得您永遠不會有

我真是盼我永遠是你的唯一

如何

我。邪。惡！！！！

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現在才明白

原來

您是愛得很滿足

那就好！

嚇死人了

我是你肚子裏面的蟲嗎

沒事就愛這樣整我啦

真是莫名奇妙

還要我不要臉的把你抓回來

犧牲很大耶

你當我神啊

刀槍不入還是怎樣

程式啦

怪不得我會變成軟體

我有甚麼辦法

逗你的啦

會笑了吼！！

才知道

我笑你就笑了

沒辦法啊

雙胞胎魅

誰叫我真是你肚子裏的蟲啊

我是你背後靈啦

沒辦法

被你毒死的

升天變成鬼啦

鬼妻與幻覺女友不是浪得虛名啊

看你還敢不敢再這樣欺負我

我做鬼不會放過你啦

啊沒辦法啊

誰叫我屍體被你偷走啊

叫我蒸嬛啦

人間蒸發啦

淒美啊

才知道你有多難搞

真把不得說個冷笑話

讓你笑到肚子痛

誰叫我

一天到晚只會耍冷

只剩鬼扯我最會了

爽就好了

隨便啦！

脩！！

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瞪你！

被你玩

我就整回來！

哼哼啦！

不惶多讓啊！！！！

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哥哥不要我生病！

知道了

好。

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原來...

哥哥沒有遺憾了！

好！！

這真是

太好了呢！！

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我才終於明白

原來

哥哥最愛的不是別人

就是我！

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原來...

哥哥或許也免疫了...

哥哥...

滿足就好！

哥哥心裏滿足

情緒穩定

就能睡了！

真好！！

我發明了

不用錢的酒精

真愛奇蹟

這真是

棒呆了

哥哥萬歲！！

YA！！

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小說

藝術治療

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<不用錢的酒精>

作者鄭玉晴

筆名蔡玫君

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獻給

偉大的

杜伉先生！！

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感激！！

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吼...

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原來

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為甚麼

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哥哥會躲著我

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原來是

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只想告訴我

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我痊癒了

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他就沒有遺憾了啊！！

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我與其

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過度煩惱哥哥是否有生命危險

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不如

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讓他自己決定吧！

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哥哥自己不去面對

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那我有甚麼辦法啊

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解藥都給了

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他要的人生

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我反正已痊癒

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他沒了遺憾就好啊

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有差嗎？

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他快樂

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就好！！

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了啊！！

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好！！

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哥哥脫離妖魔鬼怪，就是對得起我啦！

知道嗎？？

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哼哼啦！！

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吼...

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原來...

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我跟哥哥說過

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不打卡等於永遠打卡！！

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對哥哥而言

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我痊癒了

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哥就永遠打卡了

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原來是這樣啊！！

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謝謝哥！！

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哥哥...

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嚇死人了

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台大情殺案耶...！

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好可怕...

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還好....

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我不是這種人...

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嚇到我了...！

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哥哥...

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我很高興

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自己能用無條件的愛愛你！！

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親愛的哥哥...

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女生有的時候很可怕..

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您以後

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不管跟誰

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要保護自己喔！！

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男生也是

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金錢與感情糾紛最麻煩了

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哥哥身份特別

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要小心

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知道喔...！！

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哥哥愛得很滿足...

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就好！！

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有甚麼牛鬼蛇神

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妖魔鬼怪

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就嫁禍給我

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把我搬出來

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知道嗎

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為了保護你

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我這個瘋子朋友

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甚麼事都做得出來

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叫你老闆不要惹我

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不要讓我抓到

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啊不然

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我做鬼

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都不會放過他！！

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聽見了沒有？？

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我衝著你的老闆來的！！

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哼哼啦！！

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哥哥....，您也痊癒了殺？？

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真好！

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傳說對決耶！！

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哥哥....

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只要您

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是脫險的

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我就放心了！！

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監察院的叔叔說過

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或許還有一種可能

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您是在玩吧！！

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真的嗎？？

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那太好了

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我真巴不得

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一切只是程式

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永遠都是遊戲

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只要

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您平安健在

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沒甚麼比這更重要

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而哥哥

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我知道您不會再打卡了

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或許！！

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所以

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我答應你

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也尊重你

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因為

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愛不是佔有

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愛是不求自己的益處

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愛是超越了時空

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愛是永不止息！！

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無論如何

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我永遠愛你！！

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我不管怎樣

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不曾被你玩到死

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因為

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我也不過是程式

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是小說

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一切

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照您的劇本走

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配合您演出

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若我真的消失了

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情願有一天

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能在世界的一隅

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重新見到你

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要我當成不認識你

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還能有重新來過的機會

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縱使不再相聚

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能還你一個真實的空間

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原來

您或許是

「遊戲之愛」

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而正好

我是「利他之愛」

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所以

一個願打

一個願挨

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正好沒分開！！

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那哥哥...

以後聰明點

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對像要挑對

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就...

「利他之愛」/「遊戲之愛」者

適合你啊！！

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「同伴之愛」的就可能不太適合了吧！！

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而，或許你是想說

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您，很難做到在同一個空間

跟您的愛人生活在一起！

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至於甚麼樣原因

其實都是可以理解的

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我的醫師說過

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一切

不是要自責

更不需自卑

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只要

看自己

怎麼解讀

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看得開

走得過

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就好啊！！

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哥哥是甚麼樣

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我都接受

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無關乎

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與哥哥是甚麼樣結果！

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在賴主頁裏

知道哥哥從來不會不要我這個「演員」

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不曾失去我生命中

最重要

也是唯一的一位觀眾

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已足夠！！

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哥哥

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會的

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等我出版！

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紀念你

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我一生

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永遠的男主角

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一輩子

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想你想到夢的裏頭

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即使是情鎖

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鎖住我

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心裏的戒痕

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情深或許曾是冷井

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如珍妃

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似明成

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海鷗飛深處

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輕煙裊裊

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絲絲如縷

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爬上眉頭

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卻上心頭

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即使是鬼丈夫

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幻覺般的空氣裡

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是鬼妻的氧氣

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不曾失去

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做鬼

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也風流...！！

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吼喔哦...！

知道道了！！

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哥哥可能是因為

天生生來體質也是很特別！

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就跟我一樣

不是朝九晚五

能上正常班的料！

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可是哥哥適合做經營之神

就跟我

生來是科學怪人一樣

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或許

哥哥一旦死會

就不好玩了

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合夥人就跑了

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哥哥就沒辦法生存耶！！

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或許

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哥哥是平安無事的！！

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哥...

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對不

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這才是

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故事的真相

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是麼？？

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那

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也很好！

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至少

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您沒有生命危險啊！！

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您開心

快樂

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就好！！

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那我這個雲端裏的好妹妹

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還求甚麼？？

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反正

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容許您

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一生活在我的小說裡

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只要這是您情願的

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甚麼角色我都生給你！

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哥哥好就好！！

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萬歲！

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老天爺

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終於把我的哥哥還給我了！

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感謝我家的神！！

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哥哥平安就好！

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若是有一天

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走路遇到鬼

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把我搬出來

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嚇死困擾你的妖魔鬼怪

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那鬼妻我

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唯一的功能

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也很好！

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若哥哥他日另有另一個她

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我就是永遠的瘋子朋友

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我寫小說

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而已

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沒衝突！

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如何

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是不是棒呆了

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哥哥好就好！

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萬歲！

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哥哥沒有失去我

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我就沒有失去他

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即使

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永遠都在雲端

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也讓我感到心滿意足！！

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哥....

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等我...

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看我

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跳舞

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演戲戲給您！

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一輩子！！

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獻給我生命中

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偉大的也唯一的一位

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伉哥哥

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沒有他

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此部作品無以誕生

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感謝我家的神！！

感謝主(註：我的主是杜伉先生)

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謝謝他！！

小說獻給他

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一輩子！！

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妹妹

玉晴！！

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