My smile blooms again when I remember him, the man who secretly came to me with a warmth that is so familiar. My happiness that just disappeared, is now replenished thanks to that memory. I miss him, I hope tonight he will reappear in my short dreams.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡai1saoML4y
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRRHYOPI7h
"What is it? Have you been smiling all alone?”509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHODnnHnow
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxP1ZvXFFV
Some of the people sitting in front of me gave me confused looks at my attitude a while ago. My smile disappeared when I realized my stupidity, "nothing" I answered briefly.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vd6uQUWmq
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErs6xLfqD9
Once again I glanced out the window of this old university library building. The stretch of mini forest behind the old library building reminds me of the cold and dark forest that I always walk through with him, the mysterious man who is always there with me in my dreams.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT4D0NgTG7
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmmh9DNrr0
“I have to go back, you guys just carry on yourselves.” I closed the book in my hand and grabbed my small backpack casually. "Where are you going? Our work isn't finished yet Diana,” she stared at me intently, the almond-eyed woman who always pushed me to my blind spot. “My assignment starts when you guys have finished working on it, so send me the draft when you guys have done it,” I felt a bit nervous as I said this. For the first time, I was openly against it.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3EgIf6MgD
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2phTu0qzFr
Bianca, that's a call from a fox woman who always takes advantage. I hate him more than anything, even I hate myself. Even though I knew I was being fooled by him, I was too cowardly at that time to fight back and refuse all his requests. However, this time I had courage thanks to him, the man I called 'Sean'.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFTZDqbN3p
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIB4DW5RFAW
My feet just stepped away leaving Bianca who was looking at me intently as if she was going to make a hole in my body with her eyes. To be honest, there was a strange feeling that came out of my heart when I opposed him, like the feeling that I was cool and awesome.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWULHSMmcye
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pNkWY2nh1
"Hahaha.. Diana, you made her angry." I chuckled as I brought my motorbike out of the library area.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2yDsuIjSn
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYT2H1nYey
My college life was not at all like the youth novels I often read. Falling in love with seniors, sweet conflict because of jealousy and worries just because messages are not returned, I have never felt it at all. Around me, I saw many dramas about campus romance that were very, very different from the sweet novels sold in the market.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPt0b7e8l1f
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlc8x6WdI6
Symbiosis-mutualism, that's an apt description for the love life in the university world. Love will absolutely not be able to bloom properly while here, even if there is truly sincere love, only 1% of the current student population at my university.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxkW6YB5JE
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Lb7I2vrxv
"Wanna go home Diana?"509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkf8FdVSu2q
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMBeuc3X7d
This young man who became the new security guard at gate one always harassed me every time he was about to leave the campus area. He would definitely greet and look at me with strange eyes, and every time that happened I would only reply with short, emotionless words.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkBMgibA5a
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsQIhRqcxD
"No," I replied simply as I walked away from him. The checkpoint always makes me lose a lot of energy.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhRW3GbwPY
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzknswnnRr
I raced my motorbike towards a place that might be popular among people who have almost the same personality as me, a reading cafe hidden behind the tall buildings in this big city. This place is like heaven for me, because this is the only place that makes me able to save a lot of energy even though I'm among many people.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnAl2GpOlj
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPfK4stXId
My feet stepped casually into the cafe area, this place is very familiar to me. I've been visiting him for two years, sitting in the same place every time and reading the same type of book every time. "Are you going to read it again?" the old lady sitting across from me asked with a warm smile.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS06Qe3g76u
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05bu2qg0eG
"Yes," I replied as I sat across from him.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HEfOD1v8u
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11IqruuBOT
“I loved the book too, but there's too much pain in the main character,” she spoke with sad eyes, and it reminded me of a moment I may have had.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuZzgCmH7h
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9pF6l7rtn
“The poor girl stood in the rain at night alone, staring at the door of the house that was closed for her. He could only freeze for a long time, caught in a strange shock.”509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMkNPYExJg
The story was in the last chapter of the book I had in hand at the moment, and the part that the old lady was telling me made me feel attracted by her views on the ending of this story. “Why is he pathetic? Wasn't that man helping her in the end and making her live happily?"509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzdhqMqzZ6
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItEwhtAEbm
The old woman looked at me with eyes that were difficult for me to interpret, "what is the meaning of happiness if your soul is constrained?"509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAKIENvSj4
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VCQHQAiCf
“In the end the poor girl lived according to the wishes of the man, became who he wanted, and lived in a place that was ruled. There is absolutely no freedom in his life.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeESzSFLjn7
I nodded slowly, it seems that my understanding with this old woman has similarities. Love is not just a feeling or action, love is a mystery whose origin is completely unknown.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyqT7UEjJEG
Several times I heard a saying about love on social media, "If you like someone because of their feelings, then it's not love but sympathy. If you like someone because of their appearance, then what you feel is not love but obsession. Then, when you like someone because of their mysterious attitude, then that's called being curious. If you like someone at first sight, then your liking is called passion. However, if you like someone without being able to explain it, then that is love. Because love can't be described with a stupid reason that is considered as a possible trigger." Maybe, now I can start to understand my feelings for him.
“When I have feelings for someone I have never met, then what kind of feelings do I have?” my eyebrows always raise one side when waiting for an answer that I really want to hear, making the old woman chuckle when she sees it.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpjqDpivQc
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lNn6l4URr
"Impressed,"509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaB9jdUu5gb
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7RvFpDZrdC
“Just like that poor girl, she really, really admired the man who always showed up to help her. Her feelings of awe were overwhelming, making her feel that that feeling must be love.”509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsb59gM9L8B
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiM9UCFPDJl
Exactly, my guess was right. The love I once embraced for that mysterious man was awe, and now it is too. I admire him, the man I look forward to every night with a beating heart.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fS9Egf5MK
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW0sxxCYYm
As soon as the sun began to hide from its high place, I decided to turn back. My mind is still afraid of the things I have believed in, but I try to push away my feelings by staring at the fact that the man I like only exists in the subconscious and will never appear in the real world forever.509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLQQbiRhjd
509Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WLW2OYLo8
Yes, that was my intention at first. However, the plans of that ridiculous willpower collapsed the moment I saw him face to face, the man who always appeared in my dreams. The mysterious man who is now standing right in front of me with a beautiful smile, and subtle eyes.
