Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
May 1787
“Nana, what am I going to do?”
She could hear the words echoing in her head.
“Chile, you take dis, keeps it close to ya heart…”
She felt of the silver cross just under the hollow of her throat. It was a little piece of comfort when the pain became too unbearable.
“You keep dis wich you at all times, ya hear?”
The folding pocketknife had been pressed into her hand; she could still feel Nana’s old, gnarled, and leathery hand pressing it into hers. She still kept it with her; it was unseemly for ladies to carry weapons, so Anna carried this in a silk handbag that dangled from her wrist. She kept another smaller knife in her pocket bag at her left hip, if she were to lose it, it was no great loss.
“You stab dat bitch, right t’rough da heart, ya hear? Dat’s da only way ya gonna kill her, and end dis nightmare!”
She had never heard Nana swear before in her life, even when Red Coats marched into Charleston, ten years ago in April, and took control of the port city. They had threatened to kill Nana for protecting the children; slaves in the eyes of those troops were merely expendable commodities.
Anna adjusted the fichu around her shoulders, tugging the left side further towards her throat. Despite the relative warmth of the bright spring day, a shiver ran the course up her back and into her limbs.
“Are you well, Miss Sparrow?” A sixteen year old girl with raven hair and soft, doe brown eyes, Eleanor Pickett, had reached over to gently touch Anna’s arm. They were traveling together, going from one seminary to a new academy for young ladies in Philadelphia.
The smile she gave to Eleanor was drawn and tight. “Yes, thank you, Miss Pickett, I am well.”
“You have been so quiet this whole journey, do you need a rest? I can ask the coachmen to stop.”
Anna waved her hand in refusal. “No, I think I would rather just reach Philadelphia before daybreak tomorrow.”
“Think nothing of it, I do believe that we will reach Philadelphia before nightfall.” She reached up and knocked on the wall of the coach. “Driver? Driver? Can you please stop?”
Anna felt the coach slow, and finally stop. The door was opened, and the step was lowered. Eleanor stepped out first, then Anna followed, taking the gloved hand of the footman that helped her down. He caught her eye as she pulled her hand back, giving her a crooked, but charming smile. She smiled politely in return, lowering her head demurely, and walked over beside Eleanor. She peeked over her shoulder, just underneath the brim of her hat, he was watching her. He was tall and lean, his sun browned skin contrasted so nicely with his lightly powdered hair. The navy linen waistcoat and navy, gold-trimmed coat complimented his dark eyes. His ears were elegantly elongated and pointed, he had to be elvish, adding to the mystique.
“I do believe he is admiring you,” Eleanor remarked coyly, turning back to gaze through the treeline to the rolling green pasture land beyond.
He looked too much like her Jonathan, and the pain was still too fresh and raw from his loss to even consider another interest. Anna shook her head dismissively. “Tis of no matter, Miss Pickett. I’m sure he is a fine young man,” she said quietly, “but my mind is directed towards my studies.”
Eleanor looked at her indignantly, following her as Anna proceeded to approach the carriage horses, a team of four very well matched bays, taking off her gloves to stroke the velvety muzzle of the horse on the front left.
“What do you mean that your mind is directed to your studies? Do you not desire to take a husband at all?”
Anna smiled, having to stretch to reach the middle of the horse’s forehead. “I find no great desire to find a husband, and my parents didn’t see fit to groom me for housewife duties. They placed intelligence and wit over domesticity.”
This declaration seemed to greatly ruffle and perplex Eleanor. Before this journey, they had not had very much opportunity to speak casually or at length. The seminary was very formal, and Anna treasured her solitude. She planned to return to that solitude once she reached the academy.
“I expected a more familial sensibility, being that you were raised in a Southern colony,” Eleanor said indignantly.
This made Anna smile thinly. “South Carolina is a state, as of eleven years ago. I expected a more progressive sensibility from someone who was raised here in the North. As evidenced by the presence of the seminary and the new Young Ladies Academy, our sex is starting to place more value in higher education over the mere basics. We have yet a very long way to go.”
Eleanor blinked, as it took her a moment to understand the weight of Anna’s words. “You may be right, in fact I think you might be quite right. Oh but don’t you wish some dashing young man would come sweep you off your feet?”
Anna chuckled. “My feet are fine firmly planted on the ground, just as they are.” She let her arms drop, looking up at the sky. “We should start off again, if we want to make it there by this evening.” She so wished that she could ride the rest of the way to Philadelphia; being enclosed in a rolling box was not her idea of enjoyment, there was an expectation of conversation that lingered whenever silence was prevalent, and Anna had no inclination to break that silence.
Upon attempting to climb back into the carriage, she had to take the hand of the footman, but he did not immediately withdraw his hand as soon as she was inside. The touch lingered until Anna pulled back her hand. Their eyes met, and he gave her another smile. This time the smile was returned a little more than halfway. The door shut and the gazes were broken. She exhaled heavily, as if she had been holding her breath the entire time. Her shoulder tingled, yet it wasn’t quite as unpleasant as it usually felt.
Eleanor grinned and leaned in so that her shoulder bumped against Anna. “I believe someone’s feet are already lifting off the ground.”
Anna huffed a laugh, and looked over at the girl. “Hardly. Don’t be silly, Eleanor.”
Eleanor gazed at her in pleasant surprise. “That may be the first time you have called me by my given name. Does this mean we’re becoming dear friends?”
“Perhaps.” Anna was reluctant to get close to another person outside of her family, but she had to admit that she was starting to like the exuberant energy of the girl sitting beside her. It counteracted her own cool and aloof attitude.
Maybe she was right, though. Anna could not take her mind off the handsome young man sitting above them.
Elves were still regarded as mysterious, ethereal, and almost angelic. Even after their help and everything they sacrificed alongside humans in the Revolution, people were still slow to accept that The Revelation had even happened eighty-seven years prior. There was, however, time to create generations of half-elves, as it seemed some weren’t quite as slow to accept. Anna was one of the latter group, she loved seeing them integrate further into her own society. The Revolution was a great push in that direction, giving the Patriots that fought a better understanding of not only elves, but of dwarves, halflings, gnomes, and even faeriefolk. She knew there was so much more out there that they had not discovered, or been introduced to yet.
There was also a great evil out there, Americans saw that during the Revolution, but Anna had experienced it first hand. Militias had fought not only British regiments, but hordes of goblins, a handful of orcs, a people called Changelings that could slip in and out of different forms like changing their clothes, even some trolls and ogres. Despite their rigid ways of fighting on the battlefield, they employed every dirty and underhanded tactic to win ground and force the colonies to submit to British rule again. The might and will of the colonists, thereafter known as rebels, patriots, and Americans, was too great to chain to a faraway kingdom again. The taste of freedom was too sweet, and so the newly-established Americans fought.
Relations with the elves and indigenous people had started out on rocky ground, to the point where the elves had to go into hiding for nearly another century after making first contact with settlers. After the Revelation, and pushing evil back side-by-side with the magical peoples that they had once hated and persecuted, acceptance seemed to come about slowly, but steadily. Progress was made. Then the colonies began rebelling. Elves of the woodlands loved a good rebellion, as they had done when they had broken away from their European brethren a millenia ago. Because the elves were emerging, the indigenous humans began joining ranks, helping the rebel colonials commit guerilla warfare against the regimented ranks and aristocracy of the Red Coats. If elves loved rebellion, dwarves reveled in it and joined in the ruckus with a brutality the likes that the British had never dreamed of.
In the four years since the end of the Revolutionary War, human society as a whole made a big jump in acceptance, although slavery among the races was still very predominant - both human and magical. The Sparrows’, while regarded among the upper class, were looked down upon because the workers on their three rice plantations were not slaves, they were employees, and thus were paid wages. There were no overseers, there were no whips, no abuse. Because they were treated well, they chose to live at the plantations, but that did not preclude them from the prejudices held by the rest of Charleston.
The attitude was a little different in the north. Because it seemed that slavery was less accepted in the northern states - practically prohibited, it also seemed like there was more diversity among humans and magical people. Thus, Anna crossed paths with the footman.
Any time they stopped the coach, whether it was to stretch their legs or give the horses a drink, looks and smiles were exchanged. Anna kept her side of the interaction cool and cordial; Jonathan was still heavy on her mind, and she had no idea if she could trust this young man. Young ladies in her position were expected to be chaste, pious, and good. She was more “out in society” than her younger sisters, meaning she could attend gatherings, balls, and outings, but interactions with young men were to be chaperoned.
They did make it to Philadelphia by nightfall, and it was a welcomed arrival. They were to stay in an inn near the Academy, since it would not officially open until June. The girls spent an enormous amount of time together, but Eleanor was exuberant whereas Anna was very reserved. The vast differences in their personalities meant that Anna reveled in the silence when she was alone. She especially liked to take walks when the days were sunny and warm.
It was on one of these walks that she saw the footman again. He was so regal and handsome. He had dark hair, like her own, that hung down to the middle of his back, bound at the nape of his neck in a braided plait. Truth was, she had seen him on numerous occasion, but had never ventured forth to give anything beyond a polite nod on the times when he noticed her.
Today, however, seemed different. Whether he was emboldened by the warmth of the day, or the fact that they had not yet shared two words between them, he approached. She had stopped by a rose bush to admire the flowers blooming, along with their unusual pink and yellow brindle coloring, they were emitting an almost intoxicating fragrance. She had bent down to inhale when she heard a voice say, “They’re beautiful, aren’t they?”
Slowly, she straightened up, looking up the form of the footman, today dressed in pale gray breeches and waistcoat, a navy block print cravat, and a white cotton shirt. He must not have been in official footman capacity that day, for he was not wearing his tailcoat, and he was wearing only a plain tricorner hat. The riding boots he wore were cuffed to hit just below the knee, so perhaps he was going to exercise the horses. She curtsied, he bowed at the neck and waist.
“They are,” Anna replied quietly, “I had stopped to admire them, the coloring is so astonishing I couldn’t help myself.”
“Nor could I…uh…the first time I saw them,” he stammered. “Though, truthfully, their beauty pales in comparison.”
Anna dared look up at his beautifully chiseled face, and felt warmth not brought on by the sun, rise into her cheeks. She looked away quickly, back to the roses. “You laud the wrong body, perhaps, I have never seen anything as extraordinary as these blooms.”
“I’m not, because I’m looking right at her. May I accompany you?”
She looked up again, hardly believing her ears. “I fear not, I don’t even know your name.”
Another curt bow. “Forgive me, madam, I’ve forgotten my manners. Gabriel Parker.”
Anna returned the curtsy. “Anna Sparrow, it’s a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance.”
“The pleasure is all mine, Miss Sparrow. Now that we are acquainted, may I accompany you?”
She pressed her lips together in consideration; she couldn’t accept too readily or seem too enthusiastic. “Yes,” she said at long last, “company would be nice on my walk.”
“What brought you to Philadelphia, Miss Sparrow?”
“School.”
“School?” He seemed genuinely surprised by her answer.
“I had been going to the Moravian Seminary, but my father decided that was far too religious for his liking, so he was informed of the creation of a new school that would teach a broader array of subjects to young ladies.”
“Indeed? I had thought, perhaps, you were on a summer pilgrimage to the coast, or the like with your friend.”
Anna laughed. “Indeed not. There’s enough coast and water for a lifetime near my family’s home. Swamp, too, if you head in the wrong direction.”
“Where are you from originally?”
“Charleston.”
“Ah! I thought I detected a hint of something different in your inflections. So you’re here for school? I didn’t think they placed such importance on a young lady’s education…uh…erm…well I mean…”
“I know what you mean, and you’re right,” she acquiesced. “The general consensus is that girls and young ladies should only be educated enough to be able to get by until they are able to acquire a husband, and then all their needs should be met from there on out. My father was of a much different mindset. His daughters were educated on the same level as his sons, and when we exceeded tutors, he sent me - as his eldest daughter, to further her education in a more progressive North. The Moravian seminary seemed better suited for those of my sex going into a convent, not a future suited for myself.”
“I had a feeling you were different. No offense to your friend that you were traveling with, but I noticed that you seemed far less apt to…silliness.”
Anna laughed genuinely at that. “Silliness seems to be a fitting descriptor for young ladies around my age, you are correct in that, Mr. Parker. As I was telling my friend, Miss Pickett, my mind is more focused on my studies than finding a suitable husband.”
They were quickly approaching Market Street - this was the ‘elite corridor’, an area where merchants sold luxury wares. It attracted every fine gentleman and lady in Philadelphia to peruse the shops, especially on a nice day. One had to be careful that they didn’t go too far out of Market Street, the areas north of the mercantiles were much rougher than a lady of class should expect to be seen in.
They paused in front of one grand house, which seemed busy that day with construction of an expansion.
“This is where I’m employed. The Lieutenant Governor Penn and Mrs. Penn are kind masters, and have appointed me master of their stables and livery.” He looked down the road, indicating where the stables were situated.
“How very fortunate for you. Do you like it?”
“I do. At times I favor the companionship of horses over other people. Currently, the Superintendent of Finances and General Washington reside here. While they’re very interesting men to listen to, I still prefer to be in the stables.” He looked down at Anna, “Though at present, the company I keep is quite…enchanting.”
Anna dropped her head, tearing her eyes away from drinking in the exterior of the mansion, which was so different in design from homes in the South. “Mr. Parker, I don’t quite know what to do with so many compliments. You shouldn’t flatter me so.” Her cheeks were radiant with heat, if a candle had been near she could have lit it for the evening.
“Flattery implies a level of condescension, for which I have no doubt that you would see right through, therefore my words are honest and true.”
“Maybe. Maybe not.” She wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling, but it felt as though she had descended into a warm fog. She felt just as she had when she first met Jonathan, although this felt a little different, a little more potent. Perhaps it was because she was older this time around, her “courtship” with Jonathan was just a fledgling affection, hardly able to get up off the ground due to their age and him being ripped away from her. Maybe it was because Mr. Parker was an elf, but she didn’t think they had the power to seduce just by their very presence.
The memory caused a ripple of stinging pain and an itch to shoot through her shoulder; she reached up abruptly to rub her shoulder, it felt as if she had been stung by a very large wasp. Her expression must have reflected it because Mr. Parker took notice.
“Are you all right?”
“Yes, my apologies. It’s an old wound I received as a child,” she lied, and tugged her kerchief further over. “It will sometimes flare. There’s nothing for it except to grin and bear it.”
“I am sorry for it,” he said anyway, lightly touching her arm.
She looked at his hand - it was large, much more so than her own, she could see the callouses from where he worked with tools, or where reins had rubbed over repeatedly. His skin was very bronzed, and his palm was very warm.
“Will you show me the stables?” she said quickly, diverting attention away from herself. “I love horses almost as much as I think you do.”
“Absolutely.” He took the hint graciously, and swung his arm in that direction. “You say you grew up in Charleston? Tell me, what was it like?”
She told him about her childhood, growing up as one of the middle children, and eldest of the daughters of a plantation owner that did not own slaves. Early childhood had been a mix of calm moments and chaos, recapping the events of General Clinton’s attempt to capture Charleston with two thousand men when she was six, and the far more successful Siege of Charleston when she was ten - since the incident in January, she was able to recall the details with vivid clarity.
“And you, Mr. Parker? Tell me of your childhood. I feel I’ve been dominating the conversation just about myself, I am uncomfortable in such a scrutinizing light.”
“It’s far from scrutinizing, I find it fascinating to just listen to you,” he replied. “My own childhood was nowhere near as exciting. I grew up in the woodlands of the mountains not far from here. It was only in recent years that I got my first taste of real adventure. We’re not much different from yourself - we wanted independence, not only from a tyrannical monarch, but from our own rulers. We left so long ago, on long ships that predated any you or I have seen in our lifetime, as we had heard from humans in the north that there was a land that was as free and wild as we could want. The people already there were very much like us - their way of living, their beliefs and ideology. We came, we flourished, our relationship with the original humans here was mutually beneficial.”
She looked up at him curiously, studying the side of his face, his ears, the way his hat settled on his head, taking in details that might be missed otherwise. “I’m curious, and please tell me if this is rude…how old are you really?”
He laughed brightly, and to her he looked genuinely delighted. “Tis not rude in the slightest, I fear most avoid the subject completely. I am but one hundred and forty-seven.” He must have seen the look of surprise on her face and quickly added, “Elves do not…experience time the way humans might. To my own kind, I am but still very young, ten years to you is but a year to us. So in the eyes of my parents, I am as old as you are. I struck out on my own and forged my own path at one hundred and thirty-five.”
“Are your people so long-lived that one-hundred-anything is considered young?”
“We are. My great grandfather is almost twelve hundred years, he was among the first elves to set foot on the shores of this new - to us - continent. He befriended every chieftain and shaman of the tribes that lived here for countless generations, right up until settlers from England landed.”
Anna pursed her lips, grimacing apologetically. “Yes, I’ve heard tell, from Papa and Grandpapa, in the manner that the Pilgrims reacted to your people and the tribes here already.” They were nearly to the stables when she stopped and placed her hand on his forearm. “I want to apologize, even at this belated time, for the actions of any of my ancestors that might have been party to unbecoming behavior.”
“My dear Miss Sparrow, you could have no control over them any more than I could control my own. I was born thirty years after the first major groups’ landing, and you…one hundred and…fifty years?”
Anna nodded.
“Then you are as far removed from them as I am. What happened in those early days is done, and none of us hold any ill will toward any of you.” He settled his hand gently over hers and smiled. She returned it, and the warmth in her cheeks was pleasant.
He proceeded to introduce her to every horse stabled, describing each animals’ likes and dislikes - Toby was the most senior of the carriage drafts, in retirement, and preferred hot mash to anything else, because his teeth were nearly worn down to nubs so hard grain hurt his mouth; Prince was the youngest and most spirited at two years old, and it was he that Mr. Parker took out for extended rides almost every day. Prince did not typically take kindly to strangers, with a propensity to kick and bite viciously those that intruded in his stall or past his crossties, but he was like putty in Anna’s hands. Even passing stablehands were amazed at the colt’s immense adjustment in temperament.
Evening was falling quickly once they stepped outside the stables, time had passed more quickly than Anna had anticipated.
“Oh dear, I should be getting back to the inn,” she commented, noticing the elongated shadows and the sinking of the sun.
“Please, let me of course escort you back, as I was the one that led you away in the first place.”
“Don’t be silly, Mr. Parker, I would have wandered away in any case. You gave me an excuse to wander at length.”
“Then, if you will, Miss Sparrow, take my arm, and I will give you a proper escort back to your inn.” He offered his right arm, a gesture that she couldn’t refuse.
Even with their great height difference, grasping his arm felt comfortable, almost like she was being escorted by her father, but so much better. He kept to the outside, because even in her sunny yellow dress, at dusk she could still blend in and be hit by a carriage or cart passing by that did not see her.
Gabriel Parker was every bit the gentleman he seemed. On the way back, there was little conversation in words, but in gestures. Anna started off with just taking his arm, then somewhere halfway, her other hand joined his arm, and a little past that she felt his hand enclose over hers. It was oddly warm and comfortable, and felt like it should always be that way.
Before long, they were standing in front of the inn. Lamps were being lit along the street, and the braziers at either side of the front entrance had already been lit.
“Miss Sparrow. I have succeeded in escorting you safely to your final destination, but I find myself dreading our departure.” He turned slowly towards her, her arm still hooked through his, and his hand still resting atop her other hand.
“This has been a delightfully surprising day, Mr. Parker, I thank you for exceeding my expectations of a dull, silent walk by myself. I, too…may be dreading separating.” Why was she admitting even an inkling of her feelings to him?! She couldn’t help herself, because it’s exactly how she felt. She prided herself on her cool serenity of character, she was implacably unreadable to others, yet he seemed to be able to read her like an old, familiar tome.
“Then let this not be our first and last meeting, Miss Sparrow. When do your classes officially begin?” He seemed so close to her, perhaps because he was so close, yet she was not put off by the lack of distance.
“Tomorrow, June fourth. This shan’t be our last meeting…Mr. Parker.”
“I will hold you to that, Miss Sparrow. For now, I will bid you adieu, on the promise that I will see you again.”
“Yes, I dare say soon. Good night, Mr. Parker.”
His dark eyes sparkled in the warm light of the streetlamps. “Soon, then.” He took up her hand in his, raised it, and pressed his lips to her knuckles. “Good night, Miss Sparrow.”
She watched him until she could make out his form no more in the dark. She should have been impervious to his dashing good looks, his wit, and his charm, yet her heart was aflutter and would not settle until she was nestled under her covers. Then her dreams were filled with his face, when she could not see that she knew that his presence was near and was not afraid. That night was the first she had where she did not wake up in a cold sweat and trembling from nightmares.
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In the days and weeks to come, her days were filled with lessons that ranged from arithmetic, writing, history, astronomy, science, singing, and piano. Most lessons were old news for Anna, as she had studied under some of the best tutors available in Charleston. Before long, she ended up assisting her professors with teaching the younger girls that were arriving at the academy.
Dovetailed into those days were the meetings she had with Gabriel Parker, meetings that became more and more precious to her as time went by. Eleanor was right, which vexed her grievously, she did not want to admit she was capable of falling in love, but there she was. On days they had together, often they rode through the Pennsylvanian countryside, with her riding Prince, and Gabriel riding a dapple gray mount named Bing.
It was one bright and hot day, in the last days of July, just after Visitor’s Day and Commencement - where another dear man, Doctor Benjamin Rush had given a profound speech extolling the virtues of educating young ladies - that Anna found herself in a precarious position. They were completely alone, surrounded by rolling green grassland dotted by a few trees. They had dismounted underneath one of those trees, a massive oak that seemed out of place in that open field.
“You ride better than any man I have accompanied, tis almost like you were born on the back of a horse,” Gabriel declared, after he took a long pull from his water pouch.
Anna laughed, and leaned against the solid breadth of the tree trunk. “You have said so at least a dozen times now, Mr. Parker.” She pulled off her riding gloves, her hands inside were damp with sweat, as seemed to be every last inch of her.
“It’s no less true with each time I say it, because watching you and riding beside you is a joy. A kind of joy that I haven’t felt since I was a very young boy.” He closed the distance between them.
She pulled off her own tricorner hat so that her view of him was not blocked, it also allowed her head to air out. “I’m glad. That kind of joy is incomparable to anything else.”
“I wouldn’t say that,” he remarked. He was close, so very close. “I would say, for me, this joy, right here and now, exceeds anything I thought possible.”
Where no one else was present, it felt like the world contained only the two of them. He touched the crook of his finger under her chin and lifted it, and Anna didn’t resist. She looked up into those dark eyes and all but melted.
In the next moment, when his lips met hers, she fell completely under his spell, and he under hers. That kiss seemed to last for a few minutes and a whole eternity.
“You have to know, Anna, I’m done for. There’s no one else for me.”
It was the first time he had used her name, and there was no more perfect a moment for it. It sounded good and right coming from him.
“Gabriel. I love you.” It was said, it was now out in the open, he could do with it what he would. His name felt good on her lips. But there was hesitation. “I am only human. How would this work?” It was true enough, but not completely. The scarring on her shoulder was the difference, it was the greatest secret she could ever reveal to him, just over her ardent declaration of love
“There was something so different and special I felt that day when I first saw you. It will work. It will work.” He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her waist. The next kiss was longer and more intense, putting punctuation to his words. Her arms wrapped around his neck; she was a quick study for this to be only her third serious kiss in her lifetime. The first was bestowed to Jonathan, but that was only a peck to the cheek.
For Gabriel, too, it was only his fourth kiss. It was the last first kiss he would ever lay upon a woman’s lips, for this woman was meant for him, and he for her. The passion exuded by the two could not be contained even by that open field.
They rode back into the city. The stables, when they arrived, were blessedly quiet. No one spied them stealing up the stairs to Gabriel’s quarters. But with every step, Anna became more apprehensive. It wasn’t the impending end to her chastity that she was afraid for, it was the discovery of her being Marked. In years’ past, it was a certain death sentence, or at the very least a life lived in solitude and exile.
When the door closed behind her and the lock engaged, she felt him step up behind her. Moving her dark ringlets to rest over her left shoulder, she felt his lips touch the back of her neck. Her skin erupted in goosebumps and caused her a great shiver.
“Gabriel,” she said finally, “please, wait. I have something I must show you, and I understand if, after learning what it is, you never wish to see me again.”
“There could be nothing so grievous as to make me want to discard you that easily,” he said, his hands running up the outside of her arms. Her hand abruptly stopped progress before his hand could make it to her shoulder.
“Oh, but I think there is occasion for it. Please.” She turned around to face him, taking two steps back to put enough distance between them as to allow escape should he react violently. For centuries, people who were unfortunate enough to be Marked found themselves to be viciously ejected from polite society, and reactions from individuals to be cruel.
She began to remove her cravat, draped it over the back of a chair, then began to unbutton her light blue and gold riding jacket. With the last button, she swallowed hard and averted her eyes. The jacket dropped to the floor, her hair pushed off her shoulder, and there she stood in silence.
The scar was exposed. Her chemise was wide at the neck, exposing much of her shoulders and collar bones. Along her left shoulder she bore the scars - three trenches that were deep and wicked, it had taken her a month and a half to recover from the resulting fevers and infection, or so it was thought.
“My God…is that the wound you said you received as a child?!” He closed the distance, not knowing where to touch or if he could touch it. “It looks like it happened only last week!”
“I know, such is the nature of these wounds that they may never fully heal.”
“Tell me then, how did this happen?”
She looked down, hardly knowing where to begin. She swallowed the hard lump that had formed in her throat; vulnerability was not an easy task for her to bear. She was used to being so guarded and unyielding that exposure in this manner was a herculean undertaking. She turned away from him and wandered to the window.
Anna quickly pivoted back and blurted out, “I’m Marked. It happened earlier this year in January.”
He shook his head, confusion overtaking his expression. “Marked…how?”
She knew then that she had to tell him the entire story. A partial story wouldn’t explain it to the fullest it needed to be understood. She walked to the bed in the corner of the room, neatly made…it didn’t look like it could truly fit him.
Don’t allow for distractions, Anna, she reprimanded herself, and sat at the edge of the bed. Gabriel didn’t stay where he was, in fact he knelt on the floor in front of her, he took her hands in his and rested them on her knees. Surprising, but the violent reaction yet may come.
“In October of last year, my dearest friend, Christine and I were out walking one evening. One of my family’s plantations is on the edge of a marsh, where we grow rice. October is harvesting time. Marsh turns to swamp very quickly, and we were always told to avoid the swamps, especially when night comes. Cautionary tales told to children - snakes, alligators so large they could eat little girls in one bite, quick mud that could swallow you whole before you could scream for help. Strange people who would lurk in the swamp, looking for stray children to steal. We were always careful, very careful. Christine was of a more carefree, wild spirit than her parents cared for, and an even wilder temperament than they ever knew of.
“That evening, the sun was sinking fast. I encouraged her to hurry and to keep up, but she had slowed, then stopped altogether. She was watching a group of men, maybe about six or so, traipse out of the swamp using a hunter’s path. The light was low so I could not make out their features very well, something about their carriage and appearance told me they were pirates. Charleston was, and still is, rife with them, despite efforts to make the port safer. They called out to us, and if I am to be honest, Christine craved the attention of older males. I begged her to keep walking with me, but she would not hear of it. They invited us to join them, they supposedly had casks of rum from the Caribbean; if there was ever an opportunity for debauchery, Christine was more than willing. I knew it was dangerous from the first, she would not listen. The moment she let go of my hand, I knew I had lost her. I begged her again to stay with me. The last I saw was the back of her merrily walking down the darkening path, being enveloped by the group, and then they disappeared into the swamp.
Anna stopped there to wipe her face, where a couple tears had slid free. He was staring at her so intently, listening so attentively that it was almost uncomfortable. She looked to the window and continued. “I could barely sleep that night, and when I did, I was awoken by a sound I heard coming from the stables. It sounded like a horse in distress. I took a lamp and stole outside. What I saw in the stables would have shaken the most jaded, hardened soul. Christine stood in the middle of the aisle in nothing but her shift and one torn stocking. She was covered in blood. She had a chicken at her feet, the head was gone and several bites had been taken from the body, feathers and all. It should have been comical, with feathers stuck to her face as they were, but I was distressed for her. I called out her name and rushed to her, it was as if she were looking right through me - I wasn’t there. I asked what had happened, if she was hurt, she never answered. I looked past her, one of the horses in the crossties had blood trickling down his neck, she had bitten him. I believe he may have kicked her or warded her off somehow. But she had bitten him so deeply that he had blood freely dripping down his neck and chest. From where I stood, the bite did not look…right. I looked back at Christine, the light from the lamp glinted so strangely in her eyes. Then she smiled at me. I shall never forget it as long as I live. Blood - be it chicken blood, horse blood, or her blood - coursed from her mouth, her teeth were covered. For the third time that night, I begged her to tell me what was wrong; she still would not answer. All she did was laugh. I told her we had to get her cleaned up, she could not go home in that state. I went to fetch a pail of water and a blanket, but when I returned, she had disappeared. She was nowhere to be found. It was like she had vanished like a breath of wind. She had left the mangled chicken as a parting gift. I left it outside of the coop, anyone who went out to feed them in the morning would suppose that a fox had managed to get inside and took the chicken. I tended to the horse as best as I could, cleaned up the blood and wound, and covered it in a paste of arrowroot to keep infection out.
“The very next morning, tending to errands for my mother in town, I saw her. She was strolling along as merrily as you please, as though nothing had happened! I was stunned. There was no trace of blood on her, or matting her hair, and she was in the finest clothes. She brushed off my questions regarding her health and her overall state as though I had gone mad.” Anna looked back at him, gripping her hands so tenderly, she thought she might cry from the gesture alone. But she forged onwards, the story had to be told.
“Boys, young men our age began disappearing. It was one thing a few years ago when it was assumed that they had either run off to join the Continental militias, or had been killed by Red Coats. This was entirely different. Bodies were found mangled, sometimes in the swamps, or just at the edge of them, once or twice a body was found along the beach. Their chests and their abdomens had been ripped open, viciously and brutally, organs such as the heart, liver and kidneys were missing, a lung might have been partially eaten, and…most, if not all, the blood was gone from their bodies.
“I remember, vividly, on one particular day that a boy’s body had been found, Christine looked so well, she was very nearly glowing. All the attention she was used to receiving from young men in the city was magnified. Of course she reveled in it. She was used to being in the center of attention, her parents were very influential in Charleston, after the British left they held the most lavish parties, some that would even rival the festivities held in the French courts.
“Then there were the days when she was very ill-tempered, her disposition had turned mean and cruel. Those days she looked peaked and drawn, when her hair hung down in strings, and dark patches shadowed underneath her eyes. Then all of a sudden, she would appear one morning, bright and shining as the sun, as though nothing were wrong, as though she hadn’t been vicious and petty the day before. It would be either that day or the next that a body would be found. I don’t know why no one else made the connection, perhaps it was because they were not as close to her as I was. They were too caught up in their own grief, I suppose, another funeral held almost every week, another new grave to be dug, the distractions I admit were great. It was happening to our friends, the very people we spent so much time with.
“I told my Nana, the only person I could truly trust in my household to think with a levelhead and to not betray the trust that I had put in her. She was a firm believer and practitioner of hoodoo. When I had told her of my suspicions, she told me that a succubus was created that night. We all knew, in our little circle of friends, that Christine’s virtue had been lost some time ago; thankfully, her parents were none the wiser, although now that I think back, I desperately wish I had revealed her secret, perhaps if they had sent her off to a convent this all could have been prevented. Tis no use in mourning what has been done now…”
She looked off to the window again, but her attention was brought back to Gabriel as he brought her right hand up and kissed the back of her hand. “You’re doing splendidly, keep going.”
“Nana told me that the pirates had led her off, probably with the intention of doing a number of unmentionable, horrid things to her, but instead a ritual was performed. That night was a new moon, and many think that evil things are only done by the light of a full moon. Nana said that full moons ward off evil with their light, but the veil of darkness that a new moon sheds makes for perfect conditions for dark powers to settle in. Whether it was for fame, glory, or more fortune than they could possibly spend in ten lifetimes, they thought they were sacrificing a virgin to whatever god they were serving. Instead of killing her, she was brought back. She may never see those pirates again, so to satiate her thirst, lust and need to inflict pain and vengeance, she goes for the nearest young man. Those horrible, unmentionable deeds are then inflicted upon that young man, giving him the time of his life, before she cuts him open to feast upon his blood and flesh. When he had reached the peak of pleasure, she could inflict the greatest pain and suffering on him at his most vulnerable moment.
“I was…casually being courted by a young man, by the name of Jonathan Smith. We fancied each other in the way that young love does - with looks, a touch of the hand here and there, a chaste kiss so that he knew my intentions matched his…” Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes, she brushed them quickly away, hoping that he wouldn’t notice them. He did, and he rose up on his knees, kissing each cheek where a tear had left a trail. That gave her enough courage to continue.
“The day came when one year passed into the next, and there was to be a great celebration held by Christine’s family, on their plantation. No expense spared. It was to be one of the grandest balls Charleston had ever seen. I was to go on Jonathan’s arm, and if truth be told, Christine was always jealous of the fondness that Jonathan and I had for each other. It had been that way since the inception of our friendship as little girls - if I had something she wanted, she threw a fit until she had it. Jonathan was not hers, and no matter how loudly she protested, I was not relinquishing him. I waited in the ballroom for what seemed like hours, Jonathan never came, and Christine was blatantly missing. I knew in the pit of my stomach something was very wrong. I left the ball in search for them. I will never know exactly what led me to them, premonition…vision…or sheer gut instinct, but I found Christine crouched over him on the sand by the ocean, both covered in blood, and…
Anna’s breath caught painfully in her chest, the memory of that night so clear in her mind, she could just about smell the copper thick in the air, the crash of the waves muted in her ear, herself numb against the cold winter spray of the ocean water, her own scream filling her senses.
“My Nana had given me a knife, just a simple jack knife, she told to keep with me always when the missing became the dead, and impressed upon me that if I should ever see the opportunity, that I was to stab Christine through the heart. It was the only way to end the nightmare.” She shook her head, again wiping dry her face, and returning her hand to Gabriel’s. “I do not know what possessed me, but I felt a hot, nefarious anger wake up inside of me when I saw what she had done to Jonathan. I know that wasn’t the Christine I knew any longer, she was a demonic monstrosity - her features had changed so drastically, her eyes were obsidian, her jaw looked like it had unhinged itself and exposed row upon row of needles and fangs. I ran and threw myself at her. We tumbled into the surf. We fought. I’m still not sure how I got my knife free and open, but I did. The claws on the ends of her fingers sunk into my shoulder and slashed it open just as I buried my knife in her.
Anna rolled her shoulder, as the memory sent a jarring flash of pain right through, deep into her chest. She took her right hand away to rub around it. Tissue had gradually built up over the collar bone that was left exposed, one of the slash marks came so close to nicking an artery, fortune had favored her that much at least.
“The blood from the knife in her chest poured forth when I yanked the blade free, right into my own wounds. Our blood was forever mingled, I think I even swallowed some. Before she died, she said to me four words…”
“You…are…HIS…now…” The memory rode through her, causing an involuntary convulsion.
“I don’t remember how I got home. I don’t really remember much of the next few weeks, only that Nana said she forbad anyone to enter my room but her, not even my parents. She told them it was an attack from a bobcat or some such, and the result was a great, highly contagious fever. I do not know how she managed to convince them. Once I recovered, Papa sent me here, where the weather was better suited to convalescing. I wrote to him of my experience at the seminary, and he removed me as soon as he heard of the Academy. That…takes us to the present.”
Her shoulders fell, as she steeled herself for his reaction. In a move that greatly surprised her, he rose, grasped the back of her head and neck, and brought her in for an intense kiss. Her shoulder was on fire, but so was the rest of her. Clothes were not on for much longer; he removed her corset, she removed his shirt, the chemise slid off, boots, pants, and stockings all around were discarded.
It was a little awkward at first, it hurt a little but that was to be expected as it truly was the first time for both, then the sheer pleasure that it quickly brought took over. She was so wrapped up in him that the rest of the world faded away.
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She drowsed with her head against his shoulder and chest, listened to him breathe, his heart thump against her ear, and drank in the silence and warmth that still buzzed through their skin. They were just barely covered with a sheet.
“This is most improper for a lady such as myself,” she quipped lightly, then turned her head and rested her chin on his shoulder.
“It isn’t,” he agreed, a smile plastered across his handsome features though his eyes were still closed. “I have stolen away your virtue, but I do intend to make it right.” He lifted his head and peeked down at her with one barely open eye.
She watched him speak drowsily, reached up and brushed a wisp of hair away from his face that had freed itself of his now-disheveled braid. “I would not have it any other way.”
“You have awoken me and set me on fire like I have never felt before, I have never felt so alive before. Your story has set in stone my resolve, I intend to make you my wife… If you will have me.”
She breathed in deeply, unable to keep the smile off her face. “I have never been more sure of anything before in my own life, that I would be honored to be yours. Will it work?”
“Of course it will,” he insisted. “You are Marked. Your life, however long it may have been originally, has now been extended indefinitely, from what I remember hearing from different people in our village. I am Elvish, we can live in matrimonial bliss until time itself forgets that we are still alive.”
She thought about that, she had no idea that being Marked would make her as long-lived as him, and that notion brought a welling of joy up through her chest. She pushed herself up, skimming across him to kiss him again.
“I am yours,” she muttered against his mouth, “for however long you will have me.”
“Til death do us part then.” He wrapped his arms around her and helped her straddle him. The awkwardness was quickly fading away, both were quick studies and every time became easier and more pleasurable.
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For the next weeks and months, she was floating. To be that much in love with a man who felt equally about her, and was not only not disgusted by her past, but was rather further emboldened to make her his wife as soon as they could.
Her friendship with Eleanor was blooming, rather surprisingly, as well. She had not thought it possible. If she was not immersed in her studies or with Gabriel, she found herself in the company of Eleanor Pickett.
Eleanor was an accomplished musician, Anna found that she could listen to her play at the pianoforte all day. She happily volunteered to be the page turner whenever Eleanor played.
“Tell me of this mysterious beau you’ve been seeing so much of lately,” Eleanor said one afternoon in November. It was dreary and cold, on the verge of snowing, and Gabriel had been sent away on an errand for his employer.
“Whatever do you mean,” Anna asked, trying to sound casual. They were in the music room where Eleanor was playing an opus by Clementi.
Eleanor glanced slyly up at Anna, then gave a slight nod to turn the page. “I think you know exactly my meaning. You have been rather far away these past few months. Without a doubt quite preoccupied.”
She had noticed, which meant others were likely to have noticed, but Anna wasn’t close with anyone else. When she looked down to turn the page, Eleanor was still smiling which, in turn, caused Anna to blush and look away.
“You can confide in me, I will not divulge any confidences you place with me,” she assured Anna. “Is it that handsome footman?”
Anna glanced away quickly. Eleanor took that to mean yes, and giggled. “I knew it!”
“Oh please don’t tell anyone, I haven’t even found the courage to tell my sisters, and certainly not my parents.”
Eleanor held up a hand briefly before returning it to the keys. “I am as silent as the grave. Why haven’t you shared this until now?”
Anna sighed as she turned the page. “My last foray with a friend and potential suitor…didn’t turn out so well. Since then I have kept everything to myself.” Eleanor was the type of person to believe that a story like Anna’s would have been tragically romantic, and she didn’t want to rehash it again and again.
“Yes,” she affirmed, “it is the footman. He’s no longer just the footman, he is the stablemaster of the lieutenant governor. His knowledge of horses is beyond compare. He may be one of the best men I have ever known. His hands are large and warm, his eyes are like dark pools I could find myself happily drowning in…” She sighed, she had been doing an awful lot of that lately, but he took her breath away so often, in person and in fond memory. She also discovered that she waxed romantic, which was completely unlike her.
“I know that look, Anna Sparrow, you are wholly and fully in love,” Eleanor declared, the music faded and she grabbed her friend’s hands, drawing her down onto the piano bench next to her.
Trying to resist with all her might, Anna wouldn’t win this battle. She grinned shyly, and nodded. Eleanor lapsed into a fit of giggles, which Anna quickly shushed.
“Shhh! Don’t let on!” she admonished, but the smile had not left her face. “It has become something so much more than a courtship…” She looked meaningfully at Eleanor.
Eleanor’s face shifted into an expression of delighted shock. “Are we speaking…” her voice dropped dramatically to a loud whisper, “engagement?”
Anna pursed her lips, eyes widening, and finally nodded. Eleanor became almost apoplectic.
“He proposed? He proposed! Oh Anna, he could not have found a better companion or partner for life! I am so ecstatically happy for you!” She hugged Anna tightly, then held her out at arm’s length. “You know you must tell your family. Do you think they would have objections to you marrying an elf?”
“Oh no, nothing like that, my father fought with elves, he holds nothing but the highest regard for them,” Anna said, shaking her head.
“There is a difference between fighting with them and giving his blessing for one of them to marry his daughter,” Eleanor pointed out.
Anna had to think about it for a moment. “I do not think he would have objections. I believe that he would trust my judgment and give his blessing based upon that. He has his reservations about Jane, whom he has not quite fully let out into society yet, though he sent me out first, and wrote quite recently that he believes Clara would benefit from the Academy.”
“Then write to him,” Eleanor urged, “tell him, and then at your earliest convenience, take Gabriel to Charleston so that he may take the proper course of action.”
Anna nodded. “I will. I will find the courage and tell him at long last. Oh Eleanor…I never dreamed this could happen.”
They hugged again, this time much longer.
“I truly am so gladdened, this could not have happened to a better person, Anna. As I have come to know you, behind your strength and reserved nature, I have seen such a sweet nature in you. The way you instruct the girls to the way you treat animals, I have no doubt that you have enraptured as beautiful a soul as yours.” Eleanor pulled away, and there were tears in her eyes, which made Anna’s eyes misty.
“I could not have asked for a better friend, Eleanor. You and Gabriel have shown me that good people do still exist. I treasure our friendship.”
They both let out choked laughter and wiped each other’s faces. There was a warm, strange but wonderful feeling blooming within Anna, yet another feeling she had not dared to hope was real. She had felt so jaded that she did not hope to believe she could have a real relationship with another woman.
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As promised, she wrote to her father and to her youngest sister, Clara, with whom she had a very close relationship. Clara was but two years younger than Anna, yet they shared the same sensibilities – Clara was of a sweeter, more sensitive nature, but she wasn’t prone to the silliness that their sister Jane was.
She loved her mother dearly, but her mother could be more dramatic and emotional for Anna’s understanding. It was with her father that she was closest, they understood each other very well. Her mother would be the most pleased to see her eldest daughter married and happy, but Anna didn’t know how she would react upon discovering that her future son-in-law was an elf. Her father would be the most surprised since she had just told him, before being sent to Pennsylvania, that her studies were far more important than losing herself to love.
Oh how quickly a tune changes given the right circumstance. She set her quill down and smiled to herself, then folded the pages of the letter, and sealed them in an envelope. She glanced to the clock on her dresser; it was nearly noon, and she was supposed to meet with Gabriel soon.
January in Pennsylvania was so much different than winter in South Carolina; she needed a much heavier cloak and quilted petticoats to keep warm. She felt like she was toting an extra twenty-five pounds of skirts alone. It was worth it, though, to see Gabriel. Because she was one of the oldest, and quite accomplished at the Academy, she was taking on more of a teacher’s role than that of a student. She quite liked the chance to pass on her knowledge, tutoring girls who were struggling in languages or arithmetic problems. It gave her something to concentrate on when Gabriel was sent away on errands all over the countryside for his employer; the lieutenant governor was a horseman of some renown and relied upon Gabriel’s expertise to acquire the best horses for racing and fox hunting.
Seeing him always made her heart skip, and when he had been gone for days at a time, her heart nearly froze. He was always so open with his feelings and expressions that it didn’t take her long to be able to determine the kind of day he was having just by the look on his face. As such, when she saw him standing in front of the stables, he was smiling but it wasn’t in his eyes at all.
“Pray, what is the matter, my love?” she asked as soon as she reached him, taking a hand between both of hers.
The smile gentled, but the look in his eyes was one of sadness. “You know me so well, I can’t keep any intrigues safe from you.” He folded his free hand over the top of hers, brought them up, and kissed her wrist.
“Well tell me, I’ve never seen you look this way.”
Gabriel exhaled, his breath coming out in an icy fog. “Lieutenant Governor Penn is sending me to Europe.”
Stunned, she found herself speechless for a moment. When she found her voice again, Anna blurted out, “When? Why?”
“Straight away. I will be leaving on the next barque from New York Harbor the day after tomorrow. I am to acquire ten new Thoroughbreds and a various assortment of warmbloods, the Thoroughbreds will be taken to a new farm in Kentucky.” He shook his head, frowning. “I don’t want to go, but I am the only one he trusts to procure the best horses in his name.” He brought her hand to his mouth again and kissed her knuckles.
“For how long?” Travel to Europe was long and tedious, fraught with dangers that began at the start of the journey on the high seas.
“A few months at least,” he replied with a grimace. “But upon my return, we shall be married, and I will spirit you away to Kentucky to start our lives there. The stables, the breeding programs, the activities shall be under my direction. You and I, we shall live there for as long as time will have us, raising babies and horses, and watching generations of our progeny do the same.”
That made her smile a little at least, though she wanted to cry. Their longest separation had been but a week and a half, which had been a torturous period, she didn’t know how she was going to make it through the next few months without him. He drew her near and kissed her. Eventually, they ended up in his quarters above the stables, the smell of hay and leather ever present, but she was too enraptured by him to notice.
“I have something for you,” he said awhile later, wrapped up with her under the covers. “I had it especially made, because nothing else seemed fitting.
Gabriel reached to the small table beside the bed and pulled open a drawer; from it he took a small velvet box. “I’ve been meaning to give this to you for some time, but there never seemed to be the perfect opportunity.”
“Never? Not one propitious time could you find?” she questioned lightly.
“It…may have slipped my mind, and it took the jeweler a lengthy measure to create this.” He handed her the box; it was a hinged box covered in fine blue velvet and trimmed with gold. Inside the little box was a ring that took her breath away.
“Oh Gabriel, it is astonishing…you had this made?”
“With only you in mind, my love.”
The ring looked like a braided combination of fine branches and vines that seemed to grow upwards and encircled a small aquamarine stone. They were engraved with detail so intricate that the ring looked alive.
“Will you wear it? It will mean announcing our engagement, and expose our courtship. I would like to see it on your hand at least once before I must away.”
“Blast what everyone else thinks, of course I will wear it. It will not leave my hand once while you are gone.”
Anna took it delicately from the box, for it looked at though it might bend or snap with the least little resistance. Once in her hand, it was actually quite sturdy, it would take quite a bit of punishment to cause any sort of blemish or fault.
“Upon my word, I knew it would look stunning on you,” he said, holding up her hand to the light when she had slipped it on her finger. “It only enhances your beauty, and the sweetest of dispositions makes you shine.”
Anna snorted. “Me. Sweet?”
“You doubt the truthfulness of my words? I see your compassion, the care you take with your students and the horses here. Your frankness is refreshing, but it’s always thoughtful and tempered. Your opinions and your ability to debate, dare I say, would rival some of the politicians in this city.”
“Oh yes, had I only been born male, but then if I was, we wouldn’t be here,” she laughed. “I think my father is glad I was born the way I am, he already has his male heirs in place; after Andrew, he could afford to indulge and invest in his daughters. Jane has not the temperament to do much beyond the basic of education, she has neither the will nor the desire to be anything but…how shall I put this? Whimsical and daydreaming. Clara, my youngest sister, has a far sweeter and sanguine disposition than I do. She is perhaps the best out of all of us. I place all my confidence in her, she will do so well in life, if she doesn’t let Jane influence her too much.”
She turned her head up towards him. “You will write to me?”
“My dearest, you will have an entire tome to read by the time I am off the ship. I do not think I will be able to get through my day without writing it down and sending you every detail and thought, every keen, fiery, ardent feeling I have that will course through my heart and head.”
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The day to depart came much too quickly. She was expected to tutor, so she was not able to accompany him to the harbor in New York. He was willing to wait and ride through the night so that he could see her one more time before he was off.
She had brought Eleanor with her as moral support to see Gabriel off. Eleanor hung back and busied herself at a nearby tea shop while Anna and Gabriel said their goodbyes. Anna was so grateful that she had agreed to come, it was hard enough, but unfathomable doing it alone.
She hated to cry in public, yet she was on the verge of tears as she approached Gabriel and the horse he was taking, which was Bing. She was surprised, she had convinced herself that he would be taking Prince, since he was the fastest horse in Philadelphia.
“Are you not taking Prince?” she asked, the lump in her throat having dissipated somewhat.
He was dressed in his best winter riding attire – a heavy woolen navy coat, black breeches, his best boots, and his nicest tricorner hat.
“No, Bing will get me there in good time.” He stepped forward to take her hands. She had left her hands bare so that he could see she was wearing the ring that he had given her. “I am leaving Prince for you. He is yours, fully and completely. He loves you most and will accept no one else.” He stepped closer and kissed her tenderly. “I know why, and his discernment is exemplary.”
Anna smiled faintly and wiped at her eyes, so no one else could see that the tears had escaped from her eyes. She pulled free the scarf she had around her neck, and reached up to loop it around his. It was not overly feminine, so no one would really look twice at it if he wore it. She had laced it with the rose and lavender water that she loved to wear, the scent that he loved on her so much.
“There, now you can keep warm, while you smell and remember me during your voyage. Return to me safely, Gabriel Parker. We have an entire life ahead of us.”
“Knowing that will only further hasten my journey,” he reassured her, drawing her up against him.
“See that it does.” She wrapped him in an equally tight hug, burying her face so it couldn’t be seen that she was crying. She pulled back to kiss him for a moment longer. At some point they had to separate, otherwise he was never going to make it to New York Harbor on time.
“I love you, Anna Sparrow. I will be back.” He kissed her one more time before they both stepped back. He gathered the reins and slid his foot into the stirrup. With ease, he mounted Bing. Horse and rider turned one circle, now facing the direction they needed to go.
“I love you, Gabriel Parker. Please come back.”
The lump in her throat was growing bigger and more painful; the reality of his leaving was crashing down upon her. It had been like a far-off storm threatening up until this point, then as he sat high on the dapple-gray stallion, it hit her with an intensity she wasn’t expecting. Gales of sorrow, a tempest of emptiness swirled around her. She waved her handkerchief, blew him a kiss, and waved more. He cantered down the street, her waving at his back as if he could still see her, until she could see him no more.
Anna turned and buried her face into her hands and handkerchief and cried hard. She didn’t have to look up to know when Eleanor was there, she felt the enclosing arms and cloak around her. She dropped her hands, hugged into Eleanor and cried into her shoulder.
“There there,” Eleanor murmured as she rubbed Anna’s back, and leaned her head against Anna’s. “He’ll return before you know it. Then the both of you will be off on your next adventure.”
Anna nodded. She pulled back slightly, sniffed and wiped her nose with a handkerchief. “I know. What am I going to do without him?”
Eleanor gripped Anna by the shoulders and dipped her head to look straight into the other woman’s eyes. “You will live. It will get easier. Before I came here, my father was always on one trip or another - Montreal, Halifax, Toronto, he was always gone. If his one and only daughter could get through his absences, then you can make it through this one with Gabriel.”
She allowed herself that for just a few minutes, then attempted to catch her breath and calm down. It took a few moments longer, but her composure returned; other than the red, puffy eyes and drying streaks down her face, one would never know that anything was wrong. She knew Eleanor was right, she could make it through.
She and Eleanor parted ways; Eleanor needed to get back to the Academy for a music lesson, so Anna went straight into the stables, to Prince’s stall. Together they commiserated, as Prince seemed very well to understand what had happened.
“You and I will ride every day, as often as we can. I will not let you stay cooped up in this tiny stall. We will ride, we will run, and that will be the balm that heals our souls,” she told him, scratching his ears and his forelock. His head was lowered to her level, and pressed against her torso.
She stayed for another hour or so, until the evening light waned. She kissed her horse once more, gave him his grain, and set off back to the Academy.
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Anna kept her promise to Prince. They rode every day, as the weather permitted, even sometimes when it was completely unfavorable. Their bond grew deeper and more understanding of each other. Prince seemed to know exactly how to lift Anna’s spirits, even on days when it seemed like nothing could drag them up out of the pits.
Anna and Eleanor bonded even deeper through the ordeal. The time that she had dedicated to spending with Gabriel was transferred to Eleanor. They spent almost all their free time together, when Anna wasn’t off riding Prince, or Eleanor wasn’t entrenched in teaching girls how to play the pianoforte.
Gabriel kept his promise to Anna. He wrote every day, sometimes multiple times a day. She received a large stack one day, nearly two months after he had left. If the post was slow across land, it was a torpid and sluggish process to get it across the ocean. He wrote that it was fortuitous that the ship he was sailing on was named the Anna Maria, and he had no reason to believe that this journey wasn’t going to be over before they knew it.
Weeks melted into months. The trip was going more slowly than anticipated. Europe was nearly in a political upheaval, mainly due to the profound changes France was facing. Britain was still smarting from the loss of the American colonies, and set their sights on the rest of Europe. Traveling through France had proven harrowing, because the French people were protesting the horrid conditions they had to endure while the aristocracy and nobility continued to live in comfortable excess. Austria was not much better, as they were squabbling with Prussia. A majority of the horses Gabriel was to acquire were in Austria, and from his letters he had little trouble getting the horses, but getting them out was proving, again, to be more difficult than anticipated.
Anna was busy with the younger girls, she was glad for it. The routines day in and day out were comforting, and gave her something else to focus on, rather than her misery in missing Gabriel so sharply.
In July the letters stopped coming. There was no explanation for it, so she hoped that the vague reference he had made in his last letter – getting the horses he had already acquired and gathering yet more still as they traveled through Bavaria, they would be going to Venice – meant that they were already sailing.
August came and went with no word. September saw a few new horses arrive at the stables, but Gabriel was not with them. She asked if anyone had heard from him – a missive, a note, anything. No one had, save the arrival of the horses. Perhaps they struck bad weather, that could greatly slow down a ship’s progress.
The end of September came with the promise of autumn on the air. Anna had just returned from an afternoon ride with Prince, to discover a messenger waiting in front of the Academy. He handed her a package once he made sure she was the right person, and left.
Her heart jumped into her throat, it had to have been from Gabriel! Eleanor was just exiting the building as Anna accepted the package.
“Look! It’s from Gabriel, Eleanor! Perhaps this means he’ll be home soon!”
Eleanor waved her hand, “Open it! Let us see!”
Her excitement dwindled as she tore open the package, and a piece of cloth she recognized fell onto the ground at her feet. It was a piece of her scarf, but it was stiff and darkened. She picked it up, and immediately her heart dropped. The piece of blue blocked scarf was darkened with dried blood. She stared at it for a moment, then looked blankly at Eleanor. Neither was sure how to react.
“Is there a letter with it?” Eleanor urged.
“Yes…I think so.”
She pulled out the letter. It wasn’t from Gabriel. It was from a Colonel Fitzpatrick, one of the men in the party he was traveling with.
“There…there was a battle. There were casualties…”
Anna managed to find the steps, with Eleanor’s help, and sat down before she fell down. Gabriel was one of the casualties. He did not survive.
She remembered watching older girls, young women fall down in the streets shrieking and screaming when they found out their beau or husband had been killed during the Revolution. Right then, she felt an overwhelming numbness, the weight of her tears was unbearable. She could not find the voice to scream. She looked from the letter to the cloth, then back to Eleanor. She remembered how there were times when no word came at all, and a widow was left to wonder what happened. In those instances, sometimes they were able to pick up the pieces and move on, other times there were some who could not…
“Oh Anna…I don’t…I don’t know…” She was as much at a loss for words as Anna.
Anna at least, no matter how painful, had this measure of closure. Gabriel was lost to her forever, in some God-forsaken land, buried there in that earth instead of close to home, where she could at least go to his grave.
“Eleanor…” She grabbed onto her dear friend as though she were a buoy, and she were adrift at sea.
She was lost.
Anna could not find the words to tell anyone, not for a long time. She kept her grief to herself, crying only at night, doing what she could to stay strong and make it through the day. She hung onto her friendship with Eleanor, sometimes the other young woman had the pull the weight for the two of them.
She wore his ring without fail. There was no other person for her but him, and she would remain dedicated to his memory. Prince was her last living tie to Gabriel, and because of that he became that much more precious.
She would live on, and though his physical presence was gone, Gabriel Parker’s memory would continue to live on with her. That part of him would not die.
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