18+  Seriously.  I'm an adult.  I write adult stories.  Don't even read the intro.

Sub-section 240.110: Villain Rules on Partners:

(a): Work together to steal, burn, kill, poison, maim and destroy. Theft, property damage, and loss of life are the goals of every Ataxic villain.

(b): It is acceptable, and encouraged, to abandon your partner.

(c): If there is any risk of being caught- kill each other.

(d): If you can’t kill each other, kill yourselves.

(e): If you get your dumbasses caught and can’t even do that much then bite your tongue off and rot in prison- worthless scum.

(f): You are a villain to steal, murder, and destroy. Not date. Not make babies. Not kissy-kiss on the couch. If you want to have sex go rape a nun. Or a priest. 

240.112 (a): Partners must never date. Never. Not even same sex. We’re watching.