安德烈沒有回教會的打算,或者該說,他沒有去任何地方的想法,只是漫無目的的到處遊走。551Please respect copyright.PENANA8PIExIlmM6
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAnEIoHxTmv
我不緊不慢的跟在他身後。551Please respect copyright.PENANAaHTBlpoTFO
551Please respect copyright.PENANA2E3hXA8hv7
走過鬧市,走過馬路,穿越人群,最後,他在公園長椅上坐下,一臉頹然,「你一直都知道?」551Please respect copyright.PENANA4OPtJC8alT
551Please respect copyright.PENANA6NSmdO0Vki
我沒有問他指的是什麼,只是站在他身後,「嗯。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAg55kowcLV4
551Please respect copyright.PENANAX2fRGwzXWq
不管是他父母間的關係,還是亞里德對他的想法,又或是狄恩的事。551Please respect copyright.PENANARIf1A30215
551Please respect copyright.PENANAthdPRnNfEc
安德烈聞言一怔,旋即發出低笑,笑得雙肩顫動,不可自遏,最後,他像是要扼死笑聲般,將臉埋進雙手,餘下近似嗚咽的聲音。551Please respect copyright.PENANAzPVLSoYP9P
551Please respect copyright.PENANA1dr8XZetgQ
我沒有試著安慰他,甚至連問他是否哭了的念頭也沒有,只是注視著前方。551Please respect copyright.PENANAPleY96eNkr
551Please respect copyright.PENANAb3fJgxlT1J
過了許久,終於停住笑聲的安德烈重新整理好情緒,將額頭靠在交叉的雙手上頭,帶著幾分無力與疲憊的開口,「伊安,告訴我,我錯了嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAXLjHwVpNDu
551Please respect copyright.PENANA8kX6ZMUbtC
安德烈的詢問讓我忍不住看了他一眼。551Please respect copyright.PENANAPwMgO9sxnB
551Please respect copyright.PENANA2nKNbV3OmL
他的容貌沒有半絲改變卻透著宛如年老人類的滄桑,多麼有趣,在他聽見我的笑聲,將目光挪向我時,我徐緩開口,「安德烈,你問了個非常有趣的問題。」551Please respect copyright.PENANANP6hD2Oug9
551Please respect copyright.PENANACHkIo0nj9R
「你口中的對錯,究竟是怎樣的東西,你思考過嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAbrmAtNCxoW
551Please respect copyright.PENANAeD2if8lRS3
「或者,我該試著用其他方式問你。」我彎下腰,雙手搭在長椅椅背,看似親密的耳語,「你想聽我以什麼角度來回答你?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAxefYprMxzu
551Please respect copyright.PENANAiObb7pL2v7
「如果,你期望我像名人類,像個你所期望的人類,那麼,我會告訴你,安德烈,你沒有錯,你不過是想讓自己的弟弟過著更好的生活,當個善良的人,你唯一的失誤,便是你太晚發現,太晚阻止他的行為。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAm0B6zVXFry
551Please respect copyright.PENANAIWXIzCL3sp
「你是真心為他好。」說到這,我微微一頓,「要是,你想聽我身為怪物的真心話……」551Please respect copyright.PENANArYQEmN4oj1
551Please respect copyright.PENANAN5AREdHlTT
「我得告訴你……」我將手繞自他面前,動作輕柔的拉開用來抵靠額頭的雙手,「安德烈,你所有的想法與自責,毫無意義可言。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAHONPJbXM5Y
551Please respect copyright.PENANASfhkbkbXTC
哪怕安德烈沒有作出任何回應,就連表情也不曾出現變化,我依然能從某些細微的生理變化知曉,他的內心並不如外在表現的那般平靜,饒是如此,我依然沒有就此打住,一如很多年前,我告訴過他的,他若要想要真實,我便給他真實。551Please respect copyright.PENANA3RFQmpHVbz
551Please respect copyright.PENANAHF8ctmS4Ea
「對與錯,不過是你們人類用與區分、限制的名詞規範。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAM1ixP5YlhE
551Please respect copyright.PENANA8vEaLk2Jcu
「你們所認知的事實,甚至是定下的律法,總會隨著時代演進而改變,曾經的正確,眨眼成了謬論,固有的荒唐,成為真理,這樣的事層出不窮。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAohsGvzQZNI
551Please respect copyright.PENANAL0qa0jo5e1
「經歷漫長時光,不斷重複。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA2nSBLjIGaA
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkZ8rhEx1uh
「與其說,你們追求真理,重視真相,不如說,你們人類一直以來,不過是在尋找能讓自己心裡好受的答案。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAlDy0ZG1VUO
551Please respect copyright.PENANA8rmz88jGBu
「你們想要的,永遠比實際得到的要多出許多,最終,你們將自己困死其中的機率,遠比自我救贖高上許多,你們依然樂此不疲。」我在安德烈目光注視下站直身子,挪步繞過長椅,最後,在他身旁的空位坐下,「就像你,安德烈。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAOaFSsZ75ew
551Please respect copyright.PENANAzaizOKy4rs
「你既希望我說出符合你期待的話語,又冀望我坦白想法。」551Please respect copyright.PENANARyimuLC4Fk
551Please respect copyright.PENANAIHkPqfMHFm
「如此矛盾,如此痛苦,如此糾結。」隨著我的話語,公園的氣氛開始有所改變,「但是,那又如何?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAmC0MDlWKsN
551Please respect copyright.PENANAH8ik3FNwD6
「對我,對任何一名怪物來說,沒有任何意義。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAhHFF6nSJgI
551Please respect copyright.PENANAYsEjByiyWG
「任憑我們表現的多像人類,也無法理解你們執著對錯的原因與心理,哪怕我們裝得和你們一樣,為了點小事將事情弄得一團糟,搞得生活和人際關係出現天翻地覆的轉變,我們依然無法理解,為什麼?」551Please respect copyright.PENANATkLBWz5g3Y
551Please respect copyright.PENANAQASS3Bs7jO
「我們無法互相理解。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAiftk7u3e5R
551Please respect copyright.PENANAHzl5Uc3COT
「如同你所提出的疑問。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA9NAUCFJUCA
551Please respect copyright.PENANAP39jz19P1W
「怪物的世界,沒有對錯可言。」551Please respect copyright.PENANACeR2vdLMRg
551Please respect copyright.PENANApBA2hc9KcN
「驅使我們行動的,向來只有想與不想,至於事情本身,以及其中行為,不需要任何解讀,因為再多話語,改變不了結果,用最簡單的方式來說……」我以手指輕輕指過公園裡的人,「現在,我當著你的面前把公園裡所有的人都殺了,如何?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAMtlkuLAbEX
551Please respect copyright.PENANAziaJ2n9Vy5
我的話語平靜沉穩,彷彿剛才訴說的不過是件微不足道的事。551Please respect copyright.PENANAHHFt3PIH0p
551Please respect copyright.PENANAMMLQr4FGCY
事實上,確實是件微不足道的事,對安德烈來說,卻非如此,他的呼吸隨著我的話語一窒,就連身體也為之僵硬。551Please respect copyright.PENANAs7RQK4AtHU
551Please respect copyright.PENANArri9LfwkBO
「明白了嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAXddpYEOpsP
551Please respect copyright.PENANABKPDyVCxoJ
「不管你有怎樣的想法,都無法對我構成影響,死去的人,不會因為你認知上的對錯,獲得第二次的生命,你口中的對錯,也無法阻止我的行為。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA3VMZVM2zd2
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5ULsqVtO0u
我的想法,是真實的。551Please respect copyright.PENANAbHdEfmUbKy
551Please respect copyright.PENANANYDy1zNzQ1
我的殺意,也是真實的。551Please respect copyright.PENANAbNmC3dkw7x
551Please respect copyright.PENANAjh7p0kPqPC
公園裡活動的人類並沒有發現有什麼事物足以威脅他們安全,他們的本能依然在那瞬間提醒他們作出迴避。551Please respect copyright.PENANAL083lk35tw
551Please respect copyright.PENANAei5s84vlYb
歡快奔跑的孩童,突然陷入沉寂。551Please respect copyright.PENANAQRkpYiIWFH
551Please respect copyright.PENANAz7mSSRqqnP
悠閒的老人沿著步道匆促離開。551Please respect copyright.PENANAUsfJ1XRa3d
551Please respect copyright.PENANAT8knGOwaIl
年輕的男女開始收拾物品。551Please respect copyright.PENANAUT3Mz7d2uu
551Please respect copyright.PENANAWWTX0RzUcv
一切看起來如此自然,沒有半點交集卻又無比默契。551Please respect copyright.PENANACAeY259bXL
551Please respect copyright.PENANAK9V8RJiEJ5
原本熱鬧的公園,瞬間只剩下我與安德烈。551Please respect copyright.PENANAdlGpoAtyJf
551Please respect copyright.PENANAxUF4Qk6xks
終於反應過來的安德烈,意識到我方才真的有打算動手後,一臉不敢置信,但又不是那麼的不敢相信,無論如何,他確實而良好的表達出自己的憤怒與不能接受,他猛地伸手揪住我的衣領,「你怎麼可以……怎麼可以……」551Please respect copyright.PENANAyLJqJUDasK
551Please respect copyright.PENANAQsqSN00bCX
「你想從我口中得到的對錯,就是這種程度的東西。」551Please respect copyright.PENANASBVQwmGNSO
551Please respect copyright.PENANAxHIj5NbEJj
安德烈一怔。551Please respect copyright.PENANADcbpxDd1bs
551Please respect copyright.PENANA4n036uO8ls
我將衣領自他鬆開的雙手拉回,慢條斯理的整理因為拉扯而出現的皺紋,「看,你們總是喜歡用條條框框將一切事物劃出規範,什麼事可以,什麼不行,就連對錯都要有個定論,彷彿按照這套標準活著,就是理想的人生。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA9eknYZ643X
551Please respect copyright.PENANAc4fFyzVg79
「對於你們無法阻止的事,你們死守的規範是如此蒼白無力。」551Please respect copyright.PENANARgZlGwJMOW
551Please respect copyright.PENANA3dXf6MYSoI
「你們追尋不存在的答案,不存在的假設,不存在的對錯,除了人類,沒有任何生物在意這種東西。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAHioYLLoPp7
551Please respect copyright.PENANAvmgA6XFAta
「你們是不是忘了,所謂的對錯,也是經由人所制定的規則。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAYEXgBgLare
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkh0j8UZpp9
「在這個前提下,你們苦苦追尋的對錯,毫無意義可言,就像現在,不管你有多麼自責,不管你有多麼懊悔,不管你怎麼折磨自己,已然發生的事,不會有所改變,奇怪的是,你們人類總愛陷入這種想像。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAtUCc8Mjm0k
551Please respect copyright.PENANAwpjS2TsU6T
「如果自己早一點發現,如果自己當時做些什麼,是不是就能改變結果?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAK75lBoStE1
551Please respect copyright.PENANAVJ94ORAH0S
「你們只是在折磨自己,改變不了過去,也影響不了結果。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAaqyjUBSBoQ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAGKPe8cvbHK
蘇菲亞葬禮時,曾出現在安德烈臉上的神情再度出現,他就這樣盯著我,許久許久,才轉頭看向前方,「我怎麼老是忘了,你只是個怪物。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA5EXzVOIfxC
551Please respect copyright.PENANASbQtVPdwLd
我輕笑,沒有對這句話作出回應。551Please respect copyright.PENANAFJe8UirAAA
551Please respect copyright.PENANAofQkmjUm6d
*** *** *** 551Please respect copyright.PENANAH9CPgeGg1t
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAmb2m3OOBK
我不是人類。551Please respect copyright.PENANAmSDRGlcMfo
551Please respect copyright.PENANA7PzNH5WjNK
這樣的事,安德烈比任何一名人類都要清楚。551Please respect copyright.PENANAS6kKMeupvI
551Please respect copyright.PENANAbmUSlR2xUZ
透過結伴旅行,再也無法說服自己,我可能是身患怪病,或是癖好不同常人的怪人後,安德烈經過數天的沉默,對我提出詢問,「我所知道的,是真實的你嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAgcX33foKzQ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAgBIotyQCIO
我看著安德烈帶著些許冀望的眼神,輕笑,「當然不是。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA0neXSkIfM2
551Please respect copyright.PENANAt9lVgNluFz
「哪怕我以人類身份出現,所做所為都符合人類社會的標準,那也只是一種假象,當然,如果你想知道我那時的舉動是否真實,我想,是的。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAmGgtCTBKJ7
551Please respect copyright.PENANA0p1UEKSRMx
「至少,符合你們人類口中的真實。」551Please respect copyright.PENANArE4ASWmdbN
551Please respect copyright.PENANAnHedGQmHWS
安德烈不知道在想些什麼,聽完我的話後,只是定定的看著我,最後,用比平常沉了幾度的嗓音要求,「伊安,我想看見真實的你。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAhSfw78wAhx
551Please respect copyright.PENANA1xAzOVUNDD
這回,輪到我盯著他瞧,「你真的知道自己在說什麼嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAaC5wWM4kin
551Please respect copyright.PENANAyXQzXMifgB
那時的安德烈到底是小瞧了怪物的本性,還是將一切想的太過簡單,我不知道,從他點頭的那一刻起,他只能一次又一次的體會,怪物和人類本質上的不同,不僅僅是身體構造與能力,還有思想。551Please respect copyright.PENANA7hqIt72k70
551Please respect copyright.PENANA18EoPIUGXe
他親手撕開了假象。551Please respect copyright.PENANARunredK7Zl
551Please respect copyright.PENANABt5wh9Bve9
為此,他只能接受,哪怕後來的事有多難接受,他也只能接受,聽似指責或是懊惱的話語,也不過是他對此感到痛恨,以及深切的無能為力。551Please respect copyright.PENANAXBD6R6nO8G
551Please respect copyright.PENANAs3dI8nVIkH
他無法跳出這種情緒。551Please respect copyright.PENANA8rHVx24Ddm
551Please respect copyright.PENANAqf78ZJ69i0
就算取得了牧師資格也改變不了這個結果。551Please respect copyright.PENANA5N16nVxh4a
551Please respect copyright.PENANAGhSayGzZfQ
我們久別重逢的瞬間,丟下行李的安德烈,沒有給我一個屬於朋友,或是任何關係的擁抱,就連陌生人間的寒暄或是握手也沒有。551Please respect copyright.PENANAqMwMNvRHln
551Please respect copyright.PENANAnWClaKp2yo
他無比自然的朝我襲來。551Please respect copyright.PENANAHk1olTygwk
551Please respect copyright.PENANA6OHHXN9iHN
整個過程動作流暢俐落,就好像曾經在心裡,或是什麼地方,進行過無數次的演練,或是一遍又一遍的進行想像。551Please respect copyright.PENANAsA3trOtSbV
551Please respect copyright.PENANA1PmPD2q0F6
唯一的破綻,就是他在動手時產生了些許猶豫。551Please respect copyright.PENANAWZSqmGq7oH
551Please respect copyright.PENANAHxgSdp7Spu
短暫到幾乎不存在的猶豫,沒能影響他的動作與速度,對我來說,已經足夠,「作為久別重逢的見面禮,我很欣喜。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA1SOOEIsVqf
551Please respect copyright.PENANAwAajTwDGEB
安德烈試了幾回,始終沒能把對準我心臟的匕首再推進半分,哪怕,我僅是以手指夾住那把匕首,我瞥了刀身獨特的紋路一眼,低笑,「我有些意外,你居然選擇了大馬士革鋼,而不是什麼銀器或是木樁。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAUBcQP5zyZs
551Please respect copyright.PENANAFHMlDqhnOo
「以你們人類熟知的傳説,想有效殺死吸血鬼,這兩樣東西不是更加有效嗎?」隨著我的話語,安德烈施加在匕首上的力道猛地消失。551Please respect copyright.PENANAQvTr9TvJeP
551Please respect copyright.PENANAVpuRyNR4b3
捨棄了匕首的安德烈定定的看著我,「你真的是吸血鬼嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAm6upLyhRns
551Please respect copyright.PENANAT1b89ZU7lb
我幾乎是在他開口的一瞬間,理解了他的意思,「以人類的角度來看,或許是,雖然本質不太一樣。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAhnKL1EWxKz
551Please respect copyright.PENANAJe4tuSK5sh
「我是否使用銀器,對你來說,也沒有什麼意義,不是嗎?」安德烈不以為然的嗤笑。551Please respect copyright.PENANAvKDYYZ4asN
551Please respect copyright.PENANAbsXlv5vC5Z
「是這樣沒錯呢!」我把玩安德烈方才用來行刺的匕首,同時,萬分誠懇的告訴他,「你希望我表現出對這些的恐懼?」551Please respect copyright.PENANA8W8TJRlxMo
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5OPHHwwMER
在知曉一切的情況下。551Please respect copyright.PENANATCE5B5UY2V
551Please respect copyright.PENANA7PMsFR2h39
安德烈沒有回應,在他轉身彎腰拎起行李時,我帶著幾分慵懶,混著幾分戲謔的開口,「你知道,只要你開口,別說是你們想像中的吸血鬼,當一輩子的人類也沒問題,我可以與你們一起歡笑,一起哭泣,甚至是一起變老。」551Please respect copyright.PENANABK8oi15pEL
551Please respect copyright.PENANAsbdNieMyaZ
「這些對我來說,都不是問題,也不會有任何破綻。」551Please respect copyright.PENANADB7RuD96Vq
551Please respect copyright.PENANA6NtvTtwpFA
安德烈的背影明顯一頓,最後,拎起行李的他再次轉身迎向我的視線,「不管再像,終究是假的。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAN46n5qg9JZ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAJcQd9l4WM
「安德烈,你不能要求真實的同時,又期望我對你作出欺瞞。」我踏著步伐來到安德烈面前,將匕首交還至他面前,「同樣的,你不能要求我在虛假之中維持對你的誠懇,即使我能做到,你能相信嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAl9rpsn38Jn
551Please respect copyright.PENANAtyUSBIgAC3
這不是安德烈的問題。551Please respect copyright.PENANAeQAuVUorg7
551Please respect copyright.PENANAVrplWnkTLX
人類皆有此種通病。551Please respect copyright.PENANAI2Lqr0idGw
551Please respect copyright.PENANAl5xM2Kp47i
安德烈難道不懂這個道理?551Please respect copyright.PENANAJV9SmJhJfW
551Please respect copyright.PENANA1QemUB5jqh
他懂,所以他在我是否能夠像名真正的人類,最後卻發現,我終究是個怪物的事實中反覆掙扎,一如他剛才那一刀。551Please respect copyright.PENANAwSPgF0ihgB
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkRHbzAyx94
我沒有告訴他,他的態度,決定了結果。551Please respect copyright.PENANA16x8zni7vx
551Please respect copyright.PENANAeT3M1njswU
如果他不是出自己身想法和慾望,而是為了什麼教義神學,或是世界和平之類的理由,我會毫不猶豫的結束他性命。551Please respect copyright.PENANAmzJOKNm6Qb
551Please respect copyright.PENANAIg6w4e87Op
怪物就是這樣的存在。551Please respect copyright.PENANA1Yj7KuA0l7
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5KE1TP7GHQ
他動手時的猶豫,看似瞄準心臟卻略微偏了幾分的行為,無論是有意還是無心,都拯救了他的性命,再加上,他動手時看似堅決兇狠,眼神卻太過複雜和掙扎,和那些我所接觸過,硬生生把自己逼瘋的人類有些相像。551Please respect copyright.PENANASw7WDgOuFf
551Please respect copyright.PENANAWglqJIVap6
他是為了自己。551Please respect copyright.PENANAANOjIhIVf1
551Please respect copyright.PENANAdEIkfrpRpX
如同他把亞里德託付給我,以及諸多的行為一樣。551Please respect copyright.PENANAQzEdzVfo9X
551Please respect copyright.PENANArbcI8S9Tdg
如此掙扎,如此猶豫。551Please respect copyright.PENANAWbgtiAniFX
551Please respect copyright.PENANAxcwzV8wraA
察覺到這點的瞬間,我以滿足安德烈慾望為前提,盡可能放鬆自己,解除警戒跟防禦,壓抑自己身為怪物的一切本能。551Please respect copyright.PENANA2bxc6VGaCY
551Please respect copyright.PENANADmAhcO1E5P
我確實很有興趣知道。551Please respect copyright.PENANAuQpIUVQ48j
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkEhmg2mvz7
這一擊要是如安德烈所願,他會露出怎樣的神情?551Please respect copyright.PENANAsWsDFcXibN
551Please respect copyright.PENANA4td5GnANUO
我究竟會不會死在人類手裡?551Please respect copyright.PENANAYeM0A4teqp
551Please respect copyright.PENANAxGrTqVsNhU
最終,我只能得到,也許他有機會傷到我,甚至微乎其微的機率可以殺死我,但不是絕對肯定的答案,畢竟,那樣的場面,連我自己都無法想像。551Please respect copyright.PENANAXZyYYNGvnU
551Please respect copyright.PENANAHCjro3olo6
更何況,他其實不想我死。551Please respect copyright.PENANAUxjGlnzQT9
551Please respect copyright.PENANAikYvmpBa6S
哪怕他懷抱殺意,內心卻拒絕這樣的結果,他的表現太過明顯,就像是我接觸過的那些人類一樣,掙扎,煎熬,動作的瞬間又感到猶豫,失敗時,既是遺憾又不感到意外,以及連他們自己都沒有察覺得鬆了口氣。551Please respect copyright.PENANAfUMK1EViXb
551Please respect copyright.PENANAVgy3Mem2oh
人類……不,安德烈究竟希望我是何種樣貌?551Please respect copyright.PENANAaQiFcyasSj
551Please respect copyright.PENANA3uKp446qmV
我試著告訴安德烈,他可以盡情的朝我捅刀,我會盡可能的卸下防禦,允許他對我造成傷害,安德烈確是紅著雙眼,用他依舊拎著行李的手抵住我,惡狠狠的警告我,「別說了!這種話……別再說了。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAiYRPLtRQp6
551Please respect copyright.PENANAb0lRojy7mt
我知道安德烈的眼神代表什麼意思。551Please respect copyright.PENANApmwQaRNGqE
551Please respect copyright.PENANA9fFEDblZml
知道他為什麼會有這種反應。551Please respect copyright.PENANAbC7ANWpbVi
551Please respect copyright.PENANADMez7L6m0e
人類看似包容,事實上他們比誰都要無法接受異類,哪怕只是一丁點的差異,他們也無法接受,對於非人的存在更是如此,哪怕我從安德烈眼中,看見過去那些人類伴侶眼中曾經有過的情感與掙扎。551Please respect copyright.PENANAG1IMmXRRs9
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAwfBsadM7v
看見相似的痛苦與絕望,我們終究不同。551Please respect copyright.PENANAPTBr1K2XdW
551Please respect copyright.PENANAsbZODgTkSc
一如我永遠不能理解,他們口中的愛到底是怎樣的存在,哪怕我可以從他們的行為,理解他們表現的緣由。551Please respect copyright.PENANAkuVQ8T2BGh
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkZkr3Lga0p
人類對愛的表現方式,不管過了多久,始終沒有太多的改變。551Please respect copyright.PENANAkkQy8zYwPH
551Please respect copyright.PENANAsQKT6LTuEg
怪物不懂其意義,一如人類不知道,怪物的愛情。551Please respect copyright.PENANA9eHGqdXLXP
551Please respect copyright.PENANAx1ACiMx70X
有時,我會對人類的行為感到不解,就像我看著安德烈一次又一次作出選擇,從中得到娛樂,但也不能明白那種令他糾結的情感究竟是怎樣的東西?551Please respect copyright.PENANAXYIzzY6buZ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAz8K7qFLUuH
只要他開口,我便可以為他做到。551Please respect copyright.PENANAGDDmNYIHMf
551Please respect copyright.PENANAVv3p3VGp3M
安德烈一次又一次的拒絕,或者該說,逃離了這個選擇,就像現在的他,即便心動,依然用那是假的為由拒絕了。551Please respect copyright.PENANAHBfWkvzoOI
551Please respect copyright.PENANAkGY5dRd0Oc
我近似人類的反應和表情是假的,安德烈的情感卻是真的。551Please respect copyright.PENANA37i701OWj7
551Please respect copyright.PENANAyx2ICZH7LF
他一次又一次的掙扎,希望我不要發現,希望我不要察覺,希望我什麼都不懂,如他所願,只要他一天不想提起,不想面對,我什麼也不會說。551Please respect copyright.PENANAzQVbFYV4eH
551Please respect copyright.PENANAiu3w3ri6VI
這是他的選擇。551Please respect copyright.PENANA0ywHc8pWUo
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAb77te98cf
那時,我清楚感受到他抵住我的手微微顫抖,就像是隱忍,又像是憤怒,饒是如此,他最後僅是用著一種彷彿送喪的語調告訴我,「對亞里德好一點,至少,別讓他知道……你其實沒有心。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAOZbhD0zsZp
551Please respect copyright.PENANAzWb5gmD3Db
安德烈的要求很有意思。551Please respect copyright.PENANAxagTQDkCQh
551Please respect copyright.PENANAl2x7lxZH3n
我認為他不夠瞭解亞里德,也可能,他從來不曾瞭解過亞里德,亞里德說不定比他更加清楚我是怎樣的生物,但是,安德烈如此希望,「你是說,陪他演上一場鬧劇?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAQ5sh5BjbpH
551Please respect copyright.PENANAzHxTztRPMf
「也許我該說,是演出他心目中吸血鬼該有的溫柔與體貼?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAPmScVmhBXO
551Please respect copyright.PENANA8WeU6kvFms
安德烈的呼吸為之一窒,他若無其事的鬆開我,神態卻顯得有些狼狽,「你要記得,他是我弟弟。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAvM7rLP5mdL
551Please respect copyright.PENANA6BEd2DZtsw
「好的。」551Please respect copyright.PENANACrjPtd9kpG
551Please respect copyright.PENANATlXQvFcSyU
我對安德烈的承諾不曾改變。551Please respect copyright.PENANAiybFF7sMIb
551Please respect copyright.PENANAhXhOmKPSgG
他希望,我就怎麼做。551Please respect copyright.PENANAmladzqzXjX
551Please respect copyright.PENANAcGQFrB88sE
不管是關愛亞里德,還是拋棄亞里德,對我來說沒有任何差別,承受煎熬的是安德烈。551Please respect copyright.PENANAUnpFR6c1wL
551Please respect copyright.PENANABjZOT1Mmn4
我沒有問他為何痛苦,也沒有問他為什麼那麼難受,因為安德烈不希望我知道,我只需要將目光移向遠方,假裝自己什麼都沒發覺就夠了。551Please respect copyright.PENANAuuNi9hBABm
551Please respect copyright.PENANAAY36tCXGda
真實與欺瞞,本就不可兼得。551Please respect copyright.PENANAjichJWPTWt
551Please respect copyright.PENANAimFfsrpwBm
安德烈並不是對自己的想法毫無所覺,事實上,他自個也看的很明,有幾回,他像是再也無法忍受的伸出手,試圖跨出那一步,最後卻縮了回去,儘管我知道,我只要在那時輕輕推他一把,或是主動點伸手,就足以改變許多事情,我依然保持沉默,不曾有所做為。551Please respect copyright.PENANAbWoCb2fn7d
551Please respect copyright.PENANArEaSVJm9qI
我能給予的,從來都不是人類渴求的愛情。551Please respect copyright.PENANAn5T83G41y4
551Please respect copyright.PENANAGYpyneVqUI
安德烈心裡清楚,所以,該作選擇的,不是我。551Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2V7HrQ4dW
551Please respect copyright.PENANA6ur2i2SlIr
我將自己的需求與想法,真實的擺在安德烈面前,不勉強也不強迫,任憑他要掙扎還是抵抗,冷眼旁觀。551Please respect copyright.PENANAO1ryokVw4O
551Please respect copyright.PENANAuISdP70yr0
要求我只能吸允他鮮血的安德烈,某天突然問起,如果他這一生都不再提供血液,對我會造成怎樣的影響?551Please respect copyright.PENANAdk5g2DPjbT
551Please respect copyright.PENANAuSSEOVx76b
我不知道他是期望聽見我說會餓死,還是我會忍不住饑餓的襲擊他?551Please respect copyright.PENANAF66BhSOQPh
551Please respect copyright.PENANAbyf6pY0ZhJ
最後,我只能坦承的告訴他,也許我會感到饑餓,但也不是那麼難以忍受,我有足夠的自信,可以熬到他死後,尋找新的食物來源,說到這,我覺得剛才的回答也許不足以令他理解,於是又補充了句,人類有足夠的數量可以滿足我。551Please respect copyright.PENANA72BboOZipI
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5lXBjraEHf
安德烈聽完,低著頭沉默許久。551Please respect copyright.PENANALRox5zGAHb
551Please respect copyright.PENANApFmFcSyI6e
那天,以他主動拉衣領,露出脖頸邀請我進食作為結束。551Please respect copyright.PENANAaTxuYgXkbn
551Please respect copyright.PENANAFDuDPM92ed
*** *** ***551Please respect copyright.PENANA26VvpXk0lE
551Please respect copyright.PENANAwtv4VHM9Qf
安德烈與我一直維持著彼此心知肚明,但是他不說破,我就裝作不知道,他也裝作沒發現的假象。551Please respect copyright.PENANAyRpkOtAfx4
551Please respect copyright.PENANAvuSTBJPYbX
直到亞里德掀開一切。551Please respect copyright.PENANA2DvhNVEbUG
551Please respect copyright.PENANA3MyxCkxkCk
安德烈依然試圖忍受。551Please respect copyright.PENANA3AUdhPM7Vd
551Please respect copyright.PENANA01ts7V1CXr
他活至現在,在我面前最大的失態,只僅是他醉得一踏糊塗時,揪著我的衣領,說著些連他自己或許都聽不懂的醉話,偶爾,裡頭夾雜著一兩句,混帳怪物、混蛋吸血鬼。551Please respect copyright.PENANApHnWo4Qx3u
551Please respect copyright.PENANAhXbwYEgI7J
唯獨那麼一次,他將頭靠在我身上,悶悶的詢問,「為什麼你是個怪物?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAxWKn74Ezzu
551Please respect copyright.PENANAKS4oDhJXv3
安德烈的話語充滿疲憊與絕望,這些平日不會出現在他身上的負面情緒,他一次又一次的問我,為什麼我不是人類?551Please respect copyright.PENANAMaZPTrCF3L
551Please respect copyright.PENANAOirsN1fDhk
為什麼我偏偏是個怪物?551Please respect copyright.PENANAMDo1UDOptC
551Please respect copyright.PENANAoFhfoNqIga
我知道,酒醉的人類沒有理性可言,不管他平日看起來多節制自抑,這時和他們講道理是沒用的,我有無數的方式可以敷衍安德烈,他醉得厲害,明天醒來,他興許連自己曾經說過什麼都不記得。551Please respect copyright.PENANAJdZXXZ4EOB
551Please respect copyright.PENANAD3NZ0qvfRD
饒是如此,我依然真誠而不帶欺騙的告訴他,「沒有為什麼。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAOMffEmT4e0
551Please respect copyright.PENANA0bJ35uaZEF
「會糾結這個問題的,只有你。」安德烈瞇著眼睛,像是在傾聽我的話語,也可能只是他的習慣性動作,如論如何,我字字真實而堅定的告訴他,「鳥為什麼會在天上飛,魚為什麼在水裡游,你知道後,鳥就不再飛翔了,魚就不在游水了嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANA6hCIexeqtI
551Please respect copyright.PENANA7sWXEERjis
「人類可以藉此研究,造出飛機或是潛艇,但也改變不了這個事實。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA4U72deh5bQ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAx0z5KoVFP5
「你們最多能做,不是折斷鳥的翅膀,撈起魚不讓牠呼吸,就是奪走祂們的生存環境,或是限制牠們的活動空間,除此之外,改變不了牠們的本質。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAx7x2vXkLaS
551Please respect copyright.PENANA8Dr6jj537t
安德烈難得的露出迷惘神情。551Please respect copyright.PENANAFUmB0J0IuJ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAPexCj4IR1x
大腦被酒精麻醉的他,顯然無法好好思考這些話的意思,我歎了口氣,用著更加誠摯的語氣告訴他,「安德烈,美人魚褪去魚尾,終究只是童話。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAroWOZZCkIi
551Please respect copyright.PENANArE0uhyLYnA
「沒有任何一名美人魚會為了人類放棄尾巴。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAsdqNGd3u3E
551Please respect copyright.PENANAYVl7tM7nko
安德烈的確醉了,否則,他不會以帶著幾分不敢置信,還有些許受傷的神情看著我,「就算她無藥可救的愛上王子?」551Please respect copyright.PENANA8oyEHhkwwv
551Please respect copyright.PENANATauT6qfSHM
說完這話,安德烈屏住呼吸,眼也不眨的看著我。551Please respect copyright.PENANA3zQAr1PZPg
551Please respect copyright.PENANAGPeUc627oS
蘇菲亞死時,我沒有選擇謊言,現在,我同樣不會欺騙安德烈,「美人魚若是真的愛上王子,他根本不可能活著回去。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA8IFRBbxyKt
551Please respect copyright.PENANAwpxEfwHKJy
這才是怪物的真實。551Please respect copyright.PENANAcVqneGAcGd
551Please respect copyright.PENANAZVe2TnvnrC
倒回沙發的安德烈用手臂遮住自己的臉,「你不該告訴我的。」他的語調聽似平靜卻透著一股索然和深沉的無力感,他用這樣的語調再次重複相同的話語,「你不應該告訴我真相的。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA1UKDtQ7Hra
551Please respect copyright.PENANAhBOyGrxGa7
我不知道安德烈指的是美人魚和王子的愛情,還是我讓他發現自己身為怪物這一事實,「無論怪物看起來和人類有多相似,怪物終究不是人類,人類也無法成為怪物,從你選擇真實的那天起,我就不斷的提醒你。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAOjDdlFC3Qv
551Please respect copyright.PENANASSUzrEmbGi
「我很樂意說些能使你高興的話,但是,你想聽的是這些嗎?」551Please respect copyright.PENANAooJi6PbtDm
551Please respect copyright.PENANAWFzyFX4sNn
安德烈並沒有立刻回答我。551Please respect copyright.PENANAcPlFSY4JqQ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAWzimC5EOpa
他沉默的時間,足夠讓我將一團糟的環境收拾乾淨,就在一切恢復原樣,只剩渾身酒氣的他還癱在沙發上時,他悶悶的開口,「不,伊安。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA6boGPAyTnc
551Please respect copyright.PENANA2DVQWvrA5x
「這樣就好。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA9ovqKJ4Dhk
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5gcp7f7Xcb
「即便那會使我們的關係更加融洽。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAo5mD4pDL0u
551Please respect copyright.PENANAB9aaGIt3BI
我可以用各種美妙的話語,讓安德烈感到愉快,可以用無數欺瞞,堆砌出他想要的結果,但是,我只是告訴他,「是的,安德烈,你的選擇,你只能接受。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAmY4scUkiEN
551Please respect copyright.PENANAsNGLnx4FF7
安德烈沒有再說什麼,抵抗不了醉意的他深深睡去。551Please respect copyright.PENANAcQhVt49RjD
551Please respect copyright.PENANACS4eg4TRvv
我自備用寢具裡拿出一條嶄新毛毯蓋在他身上,並且對著毫無意識的他,用上低語,「做你自己想做的事就夠了。」551Please respect copyright.PENANA0JIknGyMQh
551Please respect copyright.PENANAl3G502YyAw
人類總會被怪物與其相似的外貌舉止所迷惑。551Please respect copyright.PENANAtuSno5YSla
551Please respect copyright.PENANAYbwaX30SZ2
無數的傳言總會加上那麼一筆,怪物學習人類的言行舉止,用自人類那學得的一切來誘惑人類。551Please respect copyright.PENANAkS1cCh3Gqz
551Please respect copyright.PENANAlsMbMhh1vL
事實上,真的是怪物在迷惑人類嗎?551Please respect copyright.PENANAGfF1keP4vY
551Please respect copyright.PENANA8fx2zLkC2v
又或者,是遙遠過去的人類,因為憧憬怪物的強大與美麗,不知不覺間,向怪物的舉止靠攏,模仿怪物的言行。551Please respect copyright.PENANAa7NDilZ1mS
551Please respect copyright.PENANAGjN9TIzpC7
怪物或許為了融入人類世界做出偽裝,但是,我們的本質不曾變化,我們知道自己是什麼,為何而生,知道自己追求的是什麼。551Please respect copyright.PENANAlkiEOJ6WUm
551Please respect copyright.PENANAKse5rJikkj
人類不然。551Please respect copyright.PENANAL1CycaPDyz
551Please respect copyright.PENANAKagWFQuVmC
他們早已忘記,自己終究只是世界的一部份。551Please respect copyright.PENANAAPixQMuFQ3
551Please respect copyright.PENANAjnDcrpGSqG
我轉身準備離開時,不知何時回來的斯芬克斯湊到我腳邊,「不把他搬回房間?」551Please respect copyright.PENANASF9Tk4ioXY
551Please respect copyright.PENANAPYOOKFKQEc
我看了一眼通向房間的走道,低笑,「他其實不怎麼喜歡。」551Please respect copyright.PENANAn8xpctoyd3
551Please respect copyright.PENANAS2VdmPDnaM
那個被亞里德改造到面目全非的房間。551Please respect copyright.PENANAkeUMCB9Aof
551Please respect copyright.PENANArXa18UawYd
即使,那是他自己的選擇所致。551Please respect copyright.PENANADmAVb3UoCQ
551Please respect copyright.PENANAk3N3jZAnL0
551Please respect copyright.PENANAfNKSn4MJi2
551Please respect copyright.PENANATdOaF7rQun
後記:551Please respect copyright.PENANAQVwm2jSn8M
551Please respect copyright.PENANAHXdS2Hyv2L
現在網拍很方便,有想買張新的電腦桌,看到幾張規格造型挺中意的,但是,評價一看,唉,桌面防水不行。551Please respect copyright.PENANAibXZGdKMrN
551Please respect copyright.PENANA5t38mvaFzX
真困擾。551Please respect copyright.PENANANiHrdLV9Rr
551Please respect copyright.PENANAb9oVQ6YpmS