項羽小時候學習認字,他爸拿出一本祖傳的《項氏識字大法》,可項羽沒認幾個字就不學了。他爸又拿出一本《項氏劍法》,讓項羽學習劍法,項羽學一招忘一招,等學完項氏劍法,跟沒學一樣。78Please respect copyright.PENANAPDhcHL51BW
「羽羽,你怎麽這麽笨啊?」他爸說。78Please respect copyright.PENANA6JtNFbYFq3
「咳!識字會寫自己的名字就行了。學劍殺人,還得一個一個的捅。」項羽回答。78Please respect copyright.PENANAHjm9ePVDXB
「那……你想學什麽呢?」78Please respect copyright.PENANAKpXgjky274
「我要學習能敵萬人的本事!」78Please respect copyright.PENANAe9AO2F9mwz
「好!老爸就教你我們項家獨家絕秘祖傳的——《項氏兵法》!」。78Please respect copyright.PENANAOSd5TmyUqi
於是,項羽跟他爸日夜學習用兵之法。78Please respect copyright.PENANAtxdZnnVTrF
這天是周末,項羽和他爸出門遊玩。恰好,秦始皇巡遊路過。秦始皇坐著大轎子,竟有20個人擡著,人群浩浩蕩蕩,好不威風!78Please respect copyright.PENANAf2KGjMDmkv
「那個人,我要取代他!」項羽說。78Please respect copyright.PENANAKJ34VzR9dr
「啊!你不想要命了?那可是愛看流星雨的秦始皇啊!」他爸捂住項羽的嘴說。78Please respect copyright.PENANAJ5Lc7cch3O
「爸,我沒說取代秦始皇,我想取代的……是那個擡轎子的大叔。」78Please respect copyright.PENANAroYtUlAHR0
很快很快,項羽長大了。他高八尺有余,力能舉鼎,才氣超過常人。知道項羽的人都稱呼他——超人!78Please respect copyright.PENANAKqUB0jAtXk
以上是關於小項羽的點點滴滴。78Please respect copyright.PENANA5tUYj6NUoI
下面說劉邦。78Please respect copyright.PENANATPXQ1auBGi
劉邦出生之時,雷鳴電閃,天昏地暗,狂風大作。他爸媽看到有一條龍盤旋在劉邦頭上,後經驗證,是條蛇在屋頂掛著呢。劉邦的成長簡單,他爸也沒有什麽大法、劍術、兵法之類的讓他學。78Please respect copyright.PENANA7PrUPiVP1H
劉邦高鼻子,一副龍的容貌,一臉漂亮的胡須,可惜的是:他左右腿上有長滿了黑痣。在冬季還好,到了夏季,劉邦從不穿褲叉,他怕別人對他指指點點。78Please respect copyright.PENANAvKrWdF54h4
劉邦成人後不務正業,經常跑進酒館喝酒。出門前,他要先化妝:頭上帶著草編的帽子,背上披一塊黑布,手中拿一把鋼刀。他說:這樣很酷!78Please respect copyright.PENANAx5aSkJeIth
這一天,劉邦正在喝酒。忽然街上的人大亂,說城外有條巨蛇。78Please respect copyright.PENANAGso1NOLn6x
「我去搞定它!」劉邦出城,一刀將蛇斬成數段。哇——!劉邦憑借一刀斬很快火起來了,追捧著無數。又很快,有劉邦做老大的草帽幫建立。草帽幫的人個個頭戴草帽。78Please respect copyright.PENANAmM2kVNemle
是時,秦始皇巡遊至此,看天空有象征天子的一團光芒。秦始皇一問,原來是草帽幫的草帽反射太陽光的緣故。「嚇我一跳。我以為有人搶我的位子呢!」秦始皇放心的繼續巡遊。78Please respect copyright.PENANAiASftV7aGU
劉邦看到秦始皇威武的樣子,說:「哇!男人就應該象這樣活啊!」78Please respect copyright.PENANA09KFEZuHTJ
沒幾天,秦始皇死了,劉邦又說:「我靠!男人可不能那樣活啊!」。78Please respect copyright.PENANAI9dJ48qKDp
秦始皇死後,秦二世繼位。剛繼位不久,有個叫陳勝的農民帶頭起義。義軍發展迅速,因為陳勝說出了一句千古名言:王侯將相寧有種呼?!78Please respect copyright.PENANAvPZ7hViQTa
這句名言成了項羽和劉邦座右銘。78Please respect copyright.PENANAovL1sPln1n
項羽憑借販賣《項氏劍法》收入不淺,緊接著招兵買馬的建立了數萬人馬,準備破秦,要做王相。78Please respect copyright.PENANAkDUFePCPvj
劉邦又把草帽幫發展壯大,卻只有數千人馬。這個「數千」還是虛報的數字,目的是安定軍心。劉邦也欲破秦,也要做王侯。78Please respect copyright.PENANAgE5uVPTeah
陳勝率眾第一個向秦的首都鹹陽殺去,結果——陳勝做為第一個起義者被秦軍殺死。78Please respect copyright.PENANAH3MwabCDvU
「老劉,你我簽訂個條約,誰先殺入鹹陽誰就稱王。」項羽道。78Please respect copyright.PENANAS20l4JrBZk
「同意!」劉邦。78Please respect copyright.PENANAtNCNIpoFCt
劉邦誠讓項羽先行,卻陰險的在路上埋伏了許多弓箭手。78Please respect copyright.PENANAlJGD4P7kin
「嗖嗖嗖……」無數弓箭射向項羽。78Please respect copyright.PENANAh94bsn0vGg
「啊!我的JJ!」項羽兩腿間插了一支弓箭。78Please respect copyright.PENANAJSrFDYegyl
劉邦趁機殺入鹹陽,大破秦軍。秦的金銀珠寶全部掠走,還俘虜了很多美女。78Please respect copyright.PENANABmUshtf0DT
當項羽殺盡鹹陽的時候,鹹陽已是個空成。78Please respect copyright.PENANAqWVxRnRzj6
「我要鹹陽在地球上消失!」項羽一把火少了鹹陽城,大火燒了3天3夜零23分鐘12秒。廢墟之下奇妙的露出無數金銀。78Please respect copyright.PENANACvnS2n0PRf
「哈哈哈哈!劉邦那個XX真笨,拿走的金銀全是塑料和玻璃製的仿品。我拿的才是真金不怕火煉的真品啊!」78Please respect copyright.PENANAZ4HnHiGg1c
「報——!劉邦下戰書要和大王你決戰垓下。」78Please respect copyright.PENANAsJ6fg0V3nt
「靠!我第一眼看到劉邦就想跟他單挑!」項羽說,「準備開戰!」78Please respect copyright.PENANA5sFcd24JST
項羽率兵早早來到垓下,卻看不到劉邦的影子。78Please respect copyright.PENANAV6eJWpFVm0
「劉邦怎麽還沒來?」項羽問。78Please respect copyright.PENANALywv21cELa
「是時差,時差!」左右答道。78Please respect copyright.PENANAJhFCg1bCS7
「劉邦那邊的時間和我們的時間差幾個小時啊?」項羽問。78Please respect copyright.PENANA2tRmQuzZpH
「1個……2個……3個……」78Please respect copyright.PENANAM2Gbcg4FbA
「停!反正劉邦還沒來。眼前這條烏江的水挺清澈的,傳令三軍,在江裏洗洗澡吧!」項羽脫光,「噗通」一聲,第一個跳進江水中。78Please respect copyright.PENANAW6twoH9pdI
正當三軍脫下內衣下水時……78Please respect copyright.PENANAyEQbfqFnLA
「殺呀——!」殺聲震天,來者正是劉邦!78Please respect copyright.PENANAo5eJyz8Z3B
劉邦帶領幫眾個個手提鋼刀殺至江邊,對項軍殺了個措手不及。項羽的將士大多裸露而死!78Please respect copyright.PENANAgGMlUSA5zd
項羽在水中漂來漂去,眼看著將士一個一個的裸死。他很想遊上岸殺個痛快,可只他穿著一條紅內褲,怕別人笑話。78Please respect copyright.PENANAxCSbUL9jLp
「來殺我吧!」項羽遊出上岸,穿著紅內褲站在劉邦軍前。78Please respect copyright.PENANAnklDV1sOdj
「哈哈哈哈哈哈哈………」劉邦的軍隊看到眼前的項羽,上百人當場笑死!78Please respect copyright.PENANApuz1TalmVF
「我放你一條生路,你過江去吧!」劉邦說。78Please respect copyright.PENANAcP6pa0uoi6
「多謝!」項羽轉身要走。78Please respect copyright.PENANAdsp7nK1Ymd
「唰!」一聲,劉邦用刀把項羽的內褲一刀砍下。78Please respect copyright.PENANALthMLp2OdA
「哈哈哈哈哈……」又有人笑死。78Please respect copyright.PENANAdezHq4lkrr
「天啊!」項羽跳入水中。78Please respect copyright.PENANAFqY7AAUKTk
此後,歷史上再沒有項羽的記載。有人推測,是烏江的鯊魚吃了項羽。後有人寫道:至今思項羽,那樣過江東。78Please respect copyright.PENANAACQcbdg5Su