96Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡow7Uz1ielY
Fini was picked up from the streets by Mr Torrest six months ago. She wasn't starving, it wasn't a cold damp night, and she wasn't in any danger. But she had never been homeless before, not even for a night. So when she found shelter in his home so soon after being running away from her previous employment, she was not only grateful but also instantly smitten by him.
Ever since, she has lived here, done whatever the housekeeper, Mrs Gould, asked her to do and tried her best to help everyone. There was little for her to do, and the past few weeks the town curfew stopped the girls from leaving the property to hang out in the square on Sundays. Fini and most of the servants had free access to everywhere in the mansion except a few rooms.
This was a big house. There were three gardens, a forest, a grass field for the horses to gallop and a lake on the grounds surrounding the house. The house itself was four stories with several parlours and off-shoots. This mansion was not as big as Fini's previous home, but it was no small feat either.
The master was a mysterious presence in the household. No one knew much about him but everyone respected him enough to not gossip about him. They were used to his frequent absence, and apparently, he had the habit of picking up strays to feed and employ. More than a handful of people here were such strays including Fini.
The past few weeks, after some frightening turn of events announced by the town crier Fini was not allowed out past the property lines. Even the gardens were off-limits to all staff after sun-down. Fini had taken to stalking the gardener and bothering him about his work, and the cook before that about baking some pies, and the master's valet before the cook.
The housekeeper wasn't quite sure she was brought in for employment or for entertaining, so she couldn't be entirely ordered to do anything. Master had only told her "Change her out of her dirty clothes and give her something to eat." And then another word was not said on the matter.
Whenever Mr Torrest brought home guests, Fini was not allowed to serve Mr Torrest, or interact with the house guests. She could only come when the master called for her specifically, the senior staff were the only ones allowed to serve the guests.
These restrictions on movement and interaction devastated Fini. Crying and begging only got her scolded by the housekeeper.
It appeared to Mrs Gould that morning that Fini was up to some sort of nonsense again. She had been hiding out in the library all day.
"Child!" Mrs Gould started. "What on earth are you doing in here?"
"Mrs Gould," Fini was startled. "I've finished my work for today. I was just reading."
"In the dark?"
"The fire is bright enough for me to read without straining my eyes,"
"I think you ought to go to bed now,"
"I will in a minute," Fini said. Mrs Gould stood awkwardly for a moment longer, and Fini was about to relent and put the book away, but the housekeeper bid her goodnight and left her alone again.
The crackling fireplace welcomed her in a warm embrace as Fini made a comfortable makeshift bed on the marble hearth to continue reading. It was a book about love between a prince and princess of two countries at war with one another. She was slow at reading, and the meaning of several words escaped her, but she understood most of what was said and the writer had written so soulfully that her stomach did tumbles and twists reading every page. Every few pages Fini would look up at a large portrait of a farmyard on the mantel over the fireplace and make the picture blur and swirl into a scene from the part of the book she was reading.
There was no one else in the house, she could discuss the book with. The other girls her age were married, lived their own romantic life and had such harsh views on love and life.
Fini read aloud a line from the book. "Princess, for you my heart aches. I have gone mad with love. It will kill me to be forsaken by you." Her ears warmed and a tingly feeling spread all over. The picture over the mantel turned into the master staring at her deeply. She imagined the master saying this to her and it made her cover her face bashfully. What was she doing? Master didn't even think of her, she told herself, but she couldn't help but turn the painting into his face when he rescued her in the starlit night.
Fini read late into the night until she dozed off in a heap of pillows and clothes with the book next to her. A large thud and a subsequent chilling breeze broke the tranquillity of the empty library and jolted Fini out of a hazy dream of forests and trees. She turned around to look for the source of the chill. It was an open window. Without thinking, she ran towards it and pulled it close. She struggled to latch the window shut when she heard a deep voice behind her.
"Don't lock it, I gave everyone clear instructions to never lock the windows of the library remember?" It said. A dark figure that rose before the hearth. Its silhouette was strangely familiar to Fini. It suddenly clicked who it was.
"Master!" Fini ran towards him, almost falling into him. "It's been so long since the day-- what are you doing crawling in through-- I am so glad to see you-- you have finally returned home," She rambled. The dark room, the haziness from waking up and the sudden appearance of the object of her affection made her a bumbling fool.
The fireplace cast such a strong shadow that it was difficult to see his expression. "Who are you?" This question made her heart sink. She always persuaded herself that there was no way master would remember her, but somewhere in her heart she hoped she was special to him. She felt like such a fool at that moment.
"You saved me, sir," she responded crestfallen. "My name is Fini. You brought me to this house after you found me,"
He was quiet. He turned away from her and Fini felt more and more stupid until she realized his breathing was rugged and quick, and he stumbled towards the chair. She ran to him and helped him get to his seat. Without asking for permission, she pulled off his wet travelling hood and suit to see what was wrong.
Red, hot blood bubbled out from a deep gash in his left leg. She shrieked at the sight. She must have looked at him like she was getting ready to yell because he pulled her towards him and slapped her mouth closed with the palm of his hand. Fini was ashamed to find that her focus quickly changed to the rough texture and warmth of his big hands.
"Don't yell," He whispered. Fini nodded and he let go and slumped back into the chair.
"What can I do?" Fini asked desperately. She sat down next to his wounded leg and stared at it, beginning to panic again.
"Just be quiet," He ordered. This was more difficult for her. She sat there staring at him with big pleading eyes. His eyes were closed, and there was sweat trickling down his forehead. He occasionally winced in pain and groaned, but didn't open his eyes to look at her again.
Such a direct order, 'be quiet' couldn't be ignored. But he didn't order her to not move. She got up slowly. Needing to do something with her hands, she folded up her shawl, the master's coat, and the blanket she brought with her, put the book away and put the pillows on the sofa they were retrieved from.
"Are you cleaning up while I'm bleeding to death?" he grimaced. The coolness with which he spoke startled Fini again. She ran back towards him.
"What may I do for you, master?" Fini asked.
"Nothing," He closed his eyes again. "Just sit down," she decided to take the seat near his leg again. This was her opportunity to gawk at him again. He was a handsome man. Black hair, blue eyes, sharp angular features. He was not young, but he was not too old either. Beautiful people were often ethereal like that. Fini realized that this much blood loss could potentially kill a person. His blood soaked the carpet a large diameter around where he sat.
"May I call the physician for you?"
"How will you call him?"
"I'll ask Oli to fetch him,"
"And wake up everyone from their sleep? No, let them sleep. I won't bleed to death."
Fini stared at the carpet and wondered how Mrs Gould would react in the morning.
"Don't worry about the rug, just have the housekeeper throw it out," He said when their eyes met again. Fini's cheeks warmed when their eyes met. She couldn't hold eye contact for long, instead opting to look at the fireplace. She could feel his eyes on her, studying her. "I remember you. You were on the corner of Reaver Street when I found you. How are you liking it here?"
"I'm very grateful for your generosity sir,"
"What generosity, I haven't done anything," he laughed.
"You let me stay here,"
"Not forever and not for nothing, you will work or you will leave," he said. "You do work here don't you?"
Fini felt more and more ridiculous. "Yes sir, of course," she was beginning to realize that sitting there and speaking to the master, asking questions was perhaps very rude. She had never been allowed to approach him before. Why should this time be any different? It was not the way to have your servants come and speak so freely as Fini was doing just now. Mrs Gould did do her best to save Fini from herself but it was all for nothing now.
Fini stood up and curtsied deeply. "I'm sorry sir, I'll return to my station,"
"What station? It's past midnight, what have you to do now?"
"I'm bothering you, I'm not helping so--"
"Did my manner of question upset you? Or are you trying to run away because you have been shirking your duties?"
"No," Fini insisted exasperated.
He chuckled and then abruptly grimaced. A bead of sweat rolled down his brow and Fini instinctively wiped it off his face. Before she could catch herself her hands were already on him. He opened his mouth to speak but Fini cut through first, "Are you hurt anywhere else, sir?"
He stared at her, his eyes were less glimmering and more steely almost grey now. It frightened her for a moment. "I might have been stabbed in the back too." He replied finally. Fini began to unbutton his shirt. But he moved her hands away, not unkindly, and tore the shirt in one brisk motion. There was another gash on his back. "I need you to see how deep the wound is."
Fini leaned over him and tried to look. It was a long gash. "It's really big."
"No, I need you to feel and see how deep it is,"
"What? With my fingers?" she gasped.
"Yes," he said.
"N-no, I can't," she stumbled back but he grabbed her hand and stopped her from backing away. "Fini, help me,"
The touch was almost electrifying, and his words gave a jolt that ran up her arm almost paralyzing her. She couldn't refuse. But she couldn't move. He gently pulled her closer. "Help me,"
She again leaned over him. She tried to reach behind him but it was too far down to reach without leaning against him. "Excuse me, sir," she said as reached over his left shoulder towards the wound. She steadied herself on his right shoulder and slowly pushed a finger into his wound. He gasped and this made Fini hesitate.
"Be quick," he grimaced.
She quickly felt around the inside of the wound. She couldn't tell what she was supposed to feel, when she pulled her finger out he fell back against the seat. She almost fell with him but caught herself on the head of the chair. He looked at the blood on her finger and said "Thank you." His breath against her skin was warm. As more sweat rolled down his face, she wiped it down with her sleeve.
"Go to bed Fini, I've kept you up long enough." He whispered and closed his eyes. His face was pale but the bleeding from his leg had stopped. Fini wanted to stay there with him, but she knew this was a command this time. It was clear she was dismissed.
Though the night was horrifying and gory, it was magical too. The rush she felt from this brief moment together did not let her go to sleep easily and it did not give her peaceful dreams of forests or trees.
In the morning, she expected the master of the house to disappear again like he usually did but the house was alive with bustle and activity. This only meant that the master was still in. She half expected him to summon her and couldn't contain the excitement the anticipation brought her. She couldn't keep herself busy with chores.
Mrs Gould saw how fidgety Fini was. More so than she normally was. It didn't sit right with her so she put her up to working in the greenhouse with Petey as far and out of the way as possible. This upset Fini but she couldn't think of a reason to not obey her especially since she had asked for this over the past few days.
Petey was quiet and grumpy again this morning. He turned visibly greyer and grumpier when Fini entered through the greenhouse doors. "Why are you here again? I have nothing to teach you, remember?" Petey growled.
Fini rolled her eyes and sighed exasperated. She was in no mood to grumble with him this morning. "Mrs Gould sent me here this time. What do you need done? I'll finish quickly and go back to the house."
This certainly improved his dark mood. He almost joyfully put Fini to work pulling out weeds, watering plants and even singing some lullabies to a dying plant. It was afternoon by the time she was done with these tasks. Fini couldn't wait to return. "Here takes these back to the house." He handed her a basket full of black roses.
"Why do these look like this?"
"They are wither roses..." he said. "and don't ask questions."
"Withered roses?"
"No! Wither roses! Now off with you!" He pushed her out and shut the door behind her.
"Won't you come in for luncheon?" she called back even though he had already shut the door.
Fini knew he lived here on the grounds somewhere but he never had any meals with the other servants. Perhaps the groundskeepers weren't allowed in the house like in her old home.
She skipped back towards the main home making sure to loiter in front of the large windows to the library from which she was expressly forbidden until further notice by Mrs Gould. She couldn't see into the library from the garden. Her own face reflected at her from the windows. She looked at her reflection carrying a basket of black flowers. They looked so ominous in her arms. She stuffed two of them in her dress pocket, to observe more closely later on, as she approached the back door of the house.
Another servant, Penn, stood by the fireplace in the kitchen, smoking. She made her tobacco and had tried several times to get Fini to buy some from her, but Fini had no money of her own, or she might've been tempted to try some. Penn jeered at her as she entered. "So he found someone to do his dirty work?"
"Hello Penn," Fini replied. Mrs Gould had warned her long ago to not listen to Penn when she was smoking. She had much nonsense to say and much mischief on her mind to do when she was smoking, according to Mrs Gould.
A girl who Fini recognized as the chef's assistant, was finishing the remains of her lunch when she looked up at Fini and said, "Mrs Gould asked for you. She has work for you to do. Go find her."
Fini made to put the basket down when she tsked her tongue at her and said, "take that thing with you, don't put it down anywhere,"
"Did she want these roses?" She asked but the girl ignored her, so Fini carried them with her into the house to look for the housekeeper.
She didn't have to look for long. Mrs Gould found her and brought her into the master's study. She made her first put the roses again in a basket and then sat her down to inform her. "The master has told me that henceforth the library is forbidden to you. You must also refrain from walking in front of the library windows in the garden."
Fini's cheeks turned red with embarrassment. So he had been in the library today. And he must have seen her.
"The master also asked me to give you no more work for now. He has something else prepared for you to do. You may use this study to read any of the books you want but do not go into the library."
"Why am I allowed in here but not in the library?" Fini blurted out.
"I don't know why the master cares at all about such an ungrateful one like you," Mrs Gould suddenly snapped. "No one questions the master's order! Do as you are told, you silly child!"
She left the room in a huff. Fini stood alone in the study, her body tingling anxious and uneasy. She was still not used to anyone yelling at her. She put the basket of flowers down on the desk.
Fini looked around. The study was just as big as the library but it did not have the wood-panelled walls and built-in bookshelves up to the ceiling. It didn't have the large oak table with chairs to scatter a large number of books about. It was a cool and neat room. The books looked untouched and too important to be read. The curtains were heavy and perhaps never moved except for dusting. The one fireplace in the room had no rocking chairs to sit in. There was a single desk at the far end of the room with a heavy important-looking chair. There was a sofa set in front of it, and this too looked very neat and important. This room smelled like velvet and perfumes. Master was never here except when conducting business, and he never conducted any business at home.
The master didn't stay long this time around either. He stayed a month and in that duration, Fini kept out of his way as much as she could. She tried to steer clear of him. She kept to the kitchen, the greenhouse or her room whenever she could. The idea that the master and the housekeeper, Mrs Gould found her annoying crushed her. It was only one other time she felt truly unwanted and she had made the drastic decision to run away then too to awful results, and she didn't think she'd get lucky a second time.
On the day of the master's departure when Mrs Gould had gathered all the servants to distribute the work and give the master's instructions for everyone, Penn leaned in towards Fini and whispered, "Just what did you do to charm the master I wonder."
Fini turned to her in surprise. "What do you mean?"
Penn smirked and didn't say anything else.
After the servants dispersed, Mrs Gould took Fini and Penn to a part of the house that Fini had been in just once before when she went exploring. She led them down a long beautiful corridor with large paintings, portraits, tapestries and chandeliers, to a grand golden double door at the end. The paintings were horrible. Grim and angry looking faces glared at them as they walked past. Fini decided a particular beautiful lady looked better smiling instead of the grimace that was painted on her face. She knocked first, cleared her throat and asked, "May we come in, Miss Torrest?"
That surprised Fini. The idea that Mr Torrest would have a family shouldn't have surprised her but it did.
The tiny sweet voice from within surprised her even more. She watched with wide eyes as a little doll in a large ruffled stumbled out of a large collection of stuffed animals to curtsey. "Good morning," she said.
Her dress was so big it almost consumed her. She had large locks of golden ringlets and a small hat that could barely sit on her dense curls by the ribbon tied at her chin. There was a suitcase next to the foot of her bed almost as big as her if not bigger. She must have just arrived at the house, Fini thought.
"Good morning Miss Torrest," Mrs Gould greeted her, curtseying. Fini and Penn repeated after her. "I have brought Penn and Fini to look after you. Penn will take care of all your needs, your food, your washing up, and your clothes. And Fini will read to you at night until we can find a good governess for you."
"W-why can't Papa read to me?" she asked.
"Because Mr Torrest is going to be very busy soon," Mrs Gould replied sweetly. Fini was shocked to hear her speak. She didn't think she could be this gentle. But she was more shocked that Mr Torrest had a daughter.
"Why..." she didn't finish her sentence. She looked visibly upset. Fini readied herself for a tantrum but it never came. Instead, Miss Torrest returned to her pile of toys turning her back on them. Mrs Gould told Penn to remain with the little girl and pulled Fini out of the room.
"Listen here you," she began. "The master has trusted you to look after his daughter. You better take care of that little girl properly or it'll be all of our necks on the line."
"I have siblings. I can take care of her."
"She is your mistress. You don't get to treat her like an equal," she snapped and left Fini alone feeling sick to her stomach. This was exactly why she left her previous home. She hated feeling like she was beneath anyone. It might be conceited to think she could be equal or even better than them, but just being rich and lucky didn't make you more important. Or that was what Fini told herself. No one else agreed with her of course. She didn't need anyone agreeing either. She was going to make something of herself. She didn't know how but she was going to become independent.
For the next few days Fini did as she was assigned to do. It felt good to be trusted with a task such as reading to the young mistress. The little girl never made any demands. She was polite, spoke little and generally very agreeable. Fini and Penn were both unable to get her to speak more than a few words together. She would often answer in just yes or no. One thing that stood out to Fini though was that she was very evasive with answers about her mother or father. She liked it whenever Fini spoke highly of the master; her eyes would twinkle and the corners of her mouth almost turned up into a smile. Any mention of her mother had the opposite effect though. Almost like it brought up a bad memory. Fini learnt that Vanessa Torrest was six years old. An only child of Mr Torrest and a lady named Miriam.
In the beginning of winter Mrs Gould received a letter from the master. It informed her that a governess had been selected for Miss Torrest and that would be there in a week's time. The governess' room was selected to be next to the mistress' room. A nurse was also hired to play with her and look after her at all times, so Fini and Penn's services would no longer be required.
Fini was saddened by the news because she had grown fond of their time together. She loved to read to the little princess and sometimes play with her toys with her when she wasn't tired enough to go to sleep. Mrs Gould didn't know that Fini sometimes read stories to her late into the night, such as tonight. Fini read a story about a prince who was exiled from his home for killing his father, the king, who had turned into a monster that consumed his citizens. It was a scarier story than she normally read, but Vanessa seemed to prefer scary stories or tragedies to romance or fantasy. Vanessa listened with wide eyes staring at the canopy of her bed. Fini made the pictures swirl and turn into scenarios from the story she was reading.
Fini was about to finish the story. There were just a few pages left when suddenly sharp knocks at the door startled both Vanessa and Fini and broke the lull of the silent room. Vanessa got up quickly and fixed her hair. Fini stared at Mr Torrest as he stepped into the room and let in two women dressed in travelling coat.
The description Mrs Gould received of the governess matched the first lady perfect. Proud, tall, shape-chinned and beautiful. The second woman Fini guessed was the nurse. She carried a large carpet bag in her arms. The master stared at Fini through the drapes around the bedframe. She thought perhaps he didn't see her when he first entered because he didn't address her immediately, but she quickly realized he just chose to ignore her. The governess too chose to follow the master and ignore her. She moved to the side of the bed Vanessa sat in and almost pushed Fini out of the way to sit next to her on the bed.
"I'm sorry to bother you so late at night," she spoke. She had a silvery voice.
"It's not a bother," Vanessa responded.
"My name is Ophelia Knight. I'm to be your governess. I will teach you to be an intelligent young lady," she said.
"I'm Vanessa Torrest. It's a pleasure to meet you," Vanessa whispered. She seemed to be clearly overwhelmed by Miss Knight.
"You must be the servant, Mr Torrest assigned to read to the young mistress," Miss Knight said suddenly turning to Fini. Her voice instantly turn taut. "You may go now. You needn't bother with the young mistress anymore,"
Fini curtsied low and stepped out of the room. This woman scared her but she wasn't going to let her tell her what to do. Maybe just for tonight it was ok to back off. She huffed as she straightened her frock in the dark corridor. "You took good care of Vanessa," a deep voice behind her startled her. She turned almost too quickly and stumbled back. The glow of the moonlight through the large windows made Mr Torrest's eyes glitter. His grey eyes were still sharp. His mouth was a thin line. Was he angry? Fini found herself wondering. "Vanessa likes you. I knew you were a good choice." his lips turned up to a half smile. "Go on. Off to bed with you," he almost whispered. Fini stared at him. Mr Torrest stared back.
"You avoided me all month," Fini blurted out.
"I haven't been here this past month."
"No, I meant-"
"Why would I avoid you? Do I owe it to you to keep you company?"
"No-"
"Then perhaps, you are a guest and I have been neglecting you,"
"That-"
"Do you always interrupt and talk back like this?"
Fini broke eye contact, and looked down at her hands. She was often scolded for her snark remarks and retorts, even though she was always eventually allowed to get away with it without any punishments. She realized this was absolutely improper in every other setting.
"Am I a servant then? Are you going to give me a wage?" Fini asked haughtily. Vanessa liked her, and according to the other servants he wasn't impulsive or short-tempered.. He wouldn't throw her out of the house so easily, would he?
"No," he said and lifted his chin. This movement cast his face into the shadow. Fini couldn't read his expression anymore.
"Thank you for taking me in, but if I have done something that made you uncomfortable then please tell me clearly. Don't send Mrs Gould after me," she said in a panic-induced slurry speech. "And you have been avoiding me. You explicitly told me to stay away from the library. It was probably because you didn't want to run into me and you wanted to use the library,"
A long awkward silence followed Fini's outburst. She tried to calm herself. She felt her cheeks and ear flush. She hoped he couldn't see the color on her face in the darkness. She curtsied quickly and hurried out of the corridor. 'Say something,' she thought. 'why won't you say something,'
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