
八月十四日,天氣時晴時陰319Please respect copyright.PENANA2xzym4EDsw
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也許因為今天天氣是八月以來最舒服的一天,或者真的照顧弟弟太累了,我難得睡到下午一點才醒來,第一件事就是先把手指湊到晚真鼻子下面確認他還有呼吸。319Please respect copyright.PENANAdHRgLxtixi
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我知道這樣感覺很蠢……可弟弟以前就曾經差點離開我好幾次,加上媽媽不再陪我們睡覺後,每次他身體不舒服我就會很緊張,怕哪天一覺醒來就……319Please respect copyright.PENANAPNSnLHHw6D
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記得有次跟爸爸一起陪弟弟去醫院回診,長期負責幫他看診的醫生說過,先天性心律不整的話是不用到手術換心臟那麼嚴重;也有機會跟一般人一樣生活,但偏偏晚真對很多種藥物過敏、面對壓力緊張焦慮時又容易心悸,可能也只有等長大自身抗壓性增強搭配日常藥物管理才會明顯好轉。319Please respect copyright.PENANA5P5W86PfYz
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我聽不是很懂,但爸爸跟我說過,總之弟弟只要能熬過現在平安長大就會沒事。319Please respect copyright.PENANA8QDIyvUXn3
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……平安長大的話。319Please respect copyright.PENANA4KE4jqjD22
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下午我聽見媽媽跟秋英阿姨在外面交談,沒多久就傳來大門有人出去的門鎖聲。319Please respect copyright.PENANAlAh7qcYe6K
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等到安靜好一陣後我才鼓起勇氣稍微打開一點房門,確認她們好像真的離開家裡了才再次跑去廚房找能夠稍微存放在房間的乾糧還有裝水。319Please respect copyright.PENANAsuoUioC5q6
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期間我看見客廳還是昨晚想像中的狼藉,杯子還是打翻的樣子,從裡頭流出的水則早就乾了;在桌面上留下微微發白的水漬以及果真被摔破的花瓶碎片。319Please respect copyright.PENANAjlrpm6fNjp
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……果然還是去拿回來比較好吧?319Please respect copyright.PENANAK96oeYmu5K
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不知為何在看著那片景象好會後,心裡總有個念頭覺得應該要冒險一次去池塘邊把攝影機回收回來才對。319Please respect copyright.PENANAUKJsRajPjM
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不管要不要繼續看裡頭的錄像或拍攝,既然家裡已經有人知道攝影機的存在;還可能是個拿著跟我那份生日禮物同款的傢伙,怎麼想都該儘早拿回家藏起來比較保險!319Please respect copyright.PENANA7zIk9Riqli
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當時並不知道秋英阿姨跟媽媽到底什麼時候才會回來,基本上若是去山下的市區光是開車來回至少也要四十分鐘,時間應該很足夠才對,所以我很有信心自己做得到——319Please respect copyright.PENANAxLJ5BRMBRI
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直到我看見禮物盒記號旁的幾個大字為止。319Please respect copyright.PENANAvl6bMXAClU
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快速繞過泥濘小徑去到池塘邊後,我理所當然很快就找到了依然原封不動的禮物盒記號,四根樹枝、中心一顆石頭,而稍微再往內靠近一點的位置,卻被不知道是誰用可能長樹枝之類的東西寫下了:319Please respect copyright.PENANArqeY3b2kqC
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『我很愛你哦,黎真。』319Please respect copyright.PENANAnCIwhlDEWN
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看著在爛泥巴上歪七扭八的字體,我感到渾身僵硬甚至起了雞皮疙瘩,只能死死盯著那幾個極度陌生、又可能其實不該覺得陌生的字沒辦法動彈。319Please respect copyright.PENANAADdrj2abJ2
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最後在大腦終於反應過來時,猛地轉身緊抓住大池塘旁裝設的籬笆,無法克制地彎身吐了一地,眼淚和暈眩感更是久久不能停下。319Please respect copyright.PENANAPCQnW2Yj9T
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「哥哥……我會不會就這樣死掉?」晚上吃完吐司快睡著前,弟弟朝正在烤最後兩片麵包的我問了這句以前只有在住院很不舒服時才偶爾會問的問題。319Please respect copyright.PENANAk4FuaS5Ia8
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「不會啦,你剛不是有吃一片吐司了嗎?比上次生病兩、三天都吃不下飯好多了。而且哥哥在這邊,你不會有事的!嗯!」319Please respect copyright.PENANAds1PMaglcF
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我不知道該怎麼回應才好,只能笑笑帶過希望讓晚真至少不要再過度焦慮,去床邊摸著弟弟有點發燙的額頭慢慢哄他睡覺,卻是因為下午所見還有身體的虛脫感而心不在焉。319Please respect copyright.PENANAI2GboF5vKa
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……哥哥又怎樣?
我根本救不了自己的弟弟。319Please respect copyright.PENANASgrrn4nm2r
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這不是平常看的小說或動畫,不求救的話沒有人會發現這裡,我更不可能會有什麼突然覺醒的超能力或傳送到異世界,心裡隨便想想就能逃出去。319Please respect copyright.PENANAh6K2UHzunA
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家裡在郊區。319Please respect copyright.PENANA0cZ9WcWRUc
弟弟有心臟病。319Please respect copyright.PENANAuqtuYsVx7K
秋英阿姨很奇怪。319Please respect copyright.PENANAmGUBMzqTxj
媽媽越來越不正常。319Please respect copyright.PENANAWS8fkF2E6v
爸爸開始變得很少回家。319Please respect copyright.PENANAilGQVdWtwo
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走路背著弟弟根本走不了多遠,但家裡食物跟水也不知道能撐多久,房間裡沒有冰箱可以冷藏,況且如果媽媽跟阿姨不再買吃的放家裡了該怎麼辦?319Please respect copyright.PENANAtovjY8ZauZ
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我連爸爸的事務所要怎麼自己過去都不知道……身上更不會有錢,找警察的話……要用什麼理由?又還沒真的發生什麼可以報警的事……警察叔叔只會覺得是國中生的惡作劇電話吧?319Please respect copyright.PENANAKdvGUstsBC
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……319Please respect copyright.PENANAXbZe4ebLG5
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我會不會死掉啊?哈哈。319Please respect copyright.PENANArXvlKKkBnq
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……有誰能跟我說不會嗎?319Please respect copyright.PENANA3rqguiBk3l
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拜託。319Please respect copyright.PENANA1Z5Iw3h07X
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拜