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寫了一篇小說
#1
煞星人
⋅
7 years ago
寫了一篇穿越小說 怎麼看都覺得不是很好 你們可不可以給些意見
Reply
#2
斟墨客 。 迷
⋅
7 years ago
一、標點問題:其實不需要( )裡面的文字可放到對話框之後補充。少逗號。刪節號是六點
二、我不會腦補:前段的大人是誰?後面出現一個盟主,本來以為大人就是盟主的說,看到後來覺得奇怪,才知道是不同人。
三、十年用一次?是一次只能傳送一個人?這個補一下。
四、人稱:前面看是第三人稱,但回來卻出現一個我,到底……?
五、古代有折紙星星?紙星星感覺很現代,若以紙鳶作為象徵會比較有古代感
以上是小女子的拙見,單純是個人見解,若有問題歡迎討論and私訊。
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幾時茗月
⋅
7 years ago
@迷初晨/初晨迷離, 小迷,我也要意見(期待@_@
Reply
斟墨客 。 迷
⋅
7 years ago
@幾時茗月,
茗月姐的文很多,可能要等我學測完在來評,我評文不知為啥,都要一段時間😂😂
Reply
#3
幾時茗月
⋅
7 years ago
學測是何時,離我好遙遠啊...(耶,不小心又透露年齡了
迷之聲:大家都知到妳是老妖婆一枚,只有妳自己還以為自己年輕。
Reply
斟墨客 。 迷
⋅
7 years ago
@幾時茗月,
一月中後
茗月是太后等級ww(別打我呀!
Reply
幾時茗月
⋅
7 years ago
@迷初晨/初晨迷離,
本宮認為......(馬上變身
迷之聲:妳也真好cue@.@
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