這種劇情發展怎麼跟日本毒撚動漫十分相似，突然有個陌生女子在家中出現，然後同居。這種既異想天開又陳腔濫調的劇情，連我在講故台看到都會唾棄。若是毒撚甚至是一般男生絕對會點首答允，這樁美事發生十個男生九個都嚮往，剩下一個應該是同性戀。不好意思，我是第十一個。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ucLVBBX6d
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作為一名A0毒撚當然想盡快交女朋友擺脫這個稱號，但論到同居我絕不同意。先撇開她是一個不知從何而來的陌生人，與女生同居這種事沒你想像中那麼美好。為何我知道?全因我之前與家姐同住十幾年，徹底了解與女生這種生物在同一屋簷下是甚麼狀況。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5HmNXRnQW
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUfzyre7oT
女生與你老媽不同，她們不是照顧你忍讓你的角色，早上搶洗手間，晚上搶電視，半夜在床上與男朋友講電話使你無法入睡，還沒算上其他破壞形象的行為。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKF3v56U1m
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fIZaNHoBr
可能你會說家姐是有血緣關係無法與其他女生相提並論，起初我也是這樣以為，但實際例子往往是最好的論證。有一年暑假，家姐的同學來了我家住了幾星期。家姐的同學長得非常可愛，但這個印象僅維持了幾天，往後的日子仿如多了另一位家姐一樣，我平日遇到的痛苦乘以雙倍。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0r3ajo7Pw
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvVacyOQhG
因此我對與女生同居一事只有一個看法，女生的形象率先崩壞，然後你的生活亦隨之崩壞。可能是我太偏激，抑或是我對上述女生本身沒有多餘的遐想。即使今天要與我同居的女生是岑月寧，我還是會拒絕，我怕會破壞她在我心目中的形象。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiw5G5fI8U2
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsIgfjKhkh
「你傻架?你話係度住我就會俾你住架啦?就算我肯，我老母都唔肯啦。」我將老媽二字搬出來。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IhEYgRBQk
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD8Qj1brjv
「即係你阿媽肯俾我係度住，你就肯?」她抓我說話的漏洞。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeiXKT8f8d
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXdbX7VX5V
我心裡想著老媽怎麼可能答允，我就放長雙眼看她怎麼垂頭喪氣的離開。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtubwpo6kBd
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbt0HXMDVju
「睇下我老母點應你囉。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0kdGwYPDo
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmUYxoVMfN
我跟她說老媽在上班，要十二點才回來，讓她在客廳等。我趕緊換回衣服，然後自顧的走到廚房從櫃中拿出杯麵，打開杯麵提起熱水壺倒水進去。我提著杯麵進房間，打算邊吃邊看伍公子的公子玩walking dead。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk69ysVXk5T
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdU6pf761jY
想不到她跟著我進房間，我回頭望向她，只見她望著我手上的杯麵嚥口水…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Ukw0pdElV
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa20APwr1z
「又點啊?想食啊?」我問。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCXQdp46PX
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkxxkSNEhT
她按著肚輕輕點頭。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOMu2LYZRmP
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGYgEGs3Jo
「又話自己係仙子，乜仙子會肚餓架咩?」我嘲諷著說。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKcjpQZu4S
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSkfkjLq0F
「唔食咪唔食囉，好叻咩!」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw7QBPc4wLn
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyc7JLUsIR
想不到她是如此倔強，我沒理會她繼續享用杯麵及公子玩。吃完後打算扔垃圾走出房間時，發現她坐在沙發一邊按著肚一邊怒視著我。她的眼神兇悍得猶如我是她仇人一樣，我怕了她，把垃圾扔掉後，便從櫃子裡拿出另一個杯麵，還注滿熱水送到她面前。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgErZWlegP2
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFLzz9fqgQ
「嗱，食啦，廢事你好似隻餓鬼咁啤實我。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3p9t5enEDx
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSBrrKrUU5
「邊個話我肚餓。」她口嫌體正直，雙手已經捧著杯麵。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKD68jXHju
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0RFXkXxaaG
看著她這種反差意外地帶點可愛。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kxefLmRJf
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SUoiFREaF
她打開杯麵用鼻吸了一口問:200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKdOweuDXb
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTieZfcbXCV
「辣架?」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHQeKe6gkx
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj8kZiEgNAk
我家的杯麵一向由我包辦，而我只會吃合味道的香辣海鮮味，要在我家找到別的口味是不可能的。我看她神情驟變便說:200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtDQOlyFECT
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB0iqEdwxYx
「唔食得辣啊?咁唔好食囉。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmL4hkB5YNu
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3AwhpEeiuG
她聽到後反而大口的把麵條吸入，看她吃得滿頭大汗就覺得有點好笑。這種杯麵的辣連譚仔十小辣都不如，居然有人會吃到出汗。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeaZe8DRK6
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05RwLTDkch
我看她雙唇變得紅彤微腫，便倒了杯水給她，她接過水杯說:200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV3RNOv3QI
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「唔該。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocd9NrMfaR
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhWqgBpQH3
「唔駛，我唔該你就真，俾我發現原來有人咁渣，連合味道嘅辣都頂唔住。」我笑著說。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodd0ZcQI0d
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6uIw0TtrL
「好好笑咩!?」她突然怒吼。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTo5yT3Mj1f
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhGMrD4iRj
我被她的神情嚇一跳，收起了嬉笑的嘴臉…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSCHsxwj4A
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ170JsQk2xo
「你咁嘅態度對女仔，睇死你一定冇女朋友啦。」她噴出一句。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRAoH0OY8r
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhAntCUzCk
她這一句完全是我的致命傷，我不知如何反駁。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgC427YloIV
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9KtvmVQ43x
「唔出聲即係我講中啦。」她接連的攻勢讓我快招架不住。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfnxkexdi6
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSamjbN3iT
被她說穿事實，我無法裝腔作勢…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnxBsirb8F
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHaQVWvgnNb
「係啦係啦，你啱晒啦得未，我無拍過拖就係原罪，你地有拖拍嘅咪即管笑囉!」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzo7Ye8qKc
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOt9EBFLCv
我突然想起今早韓信他們也攻擊我這一點，說完我垂頭回到房間裡再沒跟她講話。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡESf2d2b8Rr
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kEQMwGTod
尷尬的氣氛維持良久，直到聽到開門聲，老媽終於回來…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqDqxZW4CY
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7F55kVoIpd
老媽回來便看到那位女生，問我:200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5G5OYpPgC
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxpsEUy9xS
「阿仔，呢位邊個嚟?」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQRYlVhCNK
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZ49ZcLsR8
「你問我?你不如問下你帶返嚟個茶…」我說到一半嘴巴一隻手被捂著。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdkaffZ7pg
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJRffLrkxO
是她阻止了我，然後她把我老媽拉到廚房小聲的密談，我站在客廳聽不到對話內容。片刻後她們出來，我老媽對著我說:200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSB60WpLeU2
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOG21H6usJ
「仔，之後曦…啊唔係，呢位茶小姐會係度住一排。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMrw6m6J0f
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaX0pcQVGfX
WTF!?老媽你搞甚麼?居然會讓她住下來?200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13zbOOy3Sj
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV8e6sPUwK
「吓!?點解啊?三唔識七點解要俾佢住?邊有咁多地方俾佢瞓?」我愕然的問。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNEPEesJDF
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSZpfKzhJ7
「你咪理咁多啦，同埋你執返上格床啲野佢瞓返你家姐張床咪得囉。」老媽四兩撥千斤的化解我的問題。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfHY5ehlkx
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOSIvU1MnO
現在同居還不夠，還要同房是嗎?我完全無法接受，顯然我的抗議無法撼動我老媽，我便抓了那女生到一旁…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTdpgUcO6S
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkS5EHouvd
「喂!你好講做左啲咩搞到我老母咁順攤?」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrtbS81Bcf
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXALeKZeUa3
「我都話左我係茶碗仙子，呢啲野難唔到我，係你唔信我咋嘛。」她囂張的道。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSqVpMD4jj5
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1IrC0VWM3
「仲有我唔係叫喂，叫我做茶小姐!」她接著說。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2F6cRqQwVh
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJHKyX8UD1
「茶你老…」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGVYMTQhVu
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eahZ70r8R
「阿仔，今晚你瞓廳啦，俾人地女仔瞓房啊，聽日返嚟要執好上格床啊。」老媽打斷我的同時下了不人道的命令。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvaSrNvnk3
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQ5upksvWl
我不解為何要讓出我的床，怎麼說都應該是她睡在客廳吧…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28TMooJn9C
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfTGnjDMwl
「瞓廳啦你。」她擺出欠打的表情說。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNei8FpGwqm
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkdKvtZPi9
「你都痴線，我今晚老虎蟹都瞓房。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTeK7rl6xP
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpowQlHkXod
我絕不退讓，可是強硬姿態敵不過她下一句…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ76rAqNi55O
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCreG9PSeN
「今晚想同我同床瞓啊?咸濕仔…」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡast2ZFN4Ta
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNmrJrYuct
我不知道她是故意挑逗還是隨口說，換著別人恐怕早就把她吃掉，可是我在這方面是個廢物，面對這種事情就當機不懂反應，她看我呆掉便說:200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFfZlyYBvlI
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ji9bHyEjl
「你唔係真係想啊嘛?發夢啦你，同我死出廳瞓!」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVP1Whj4dK
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOR41CyiGVU
砰!房門大力關上，就這樣我與我的床相隔一道門，只好認命的睡在沙發。唉，我究竟做錯了甚麼落得如此下場，果然與女生同居就不會有好日子過…200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8DUxZlfGJ
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