The sun had risen, logically I knew that, yet I looked up at the full moon. Panic set in as I realized I was outside, my pups nowhere near me. That panic calmed as a soft voice flooded my mind.
“Easy child. They are fine.”
I looked around, searching for the owner of the unfamiliar voice.
“Who are you?” I asked, though my mouth didn’t move. I was a wolf, I realized, using a pack link. My thoughts were voiced as they would be, though the link wasn’t there.
“Someone who’s here to help. Those pups need to shift.”
A small whine left me. It was something that had been weighing heavily on my mind since Easton brought it up. We didn’t usually have access to our wolves until eighteen, would my pups be stuck as wolves for their entire childhood?
“Your fears are unnecessary.” The voice said, the owner still unseen, as were my pups.
“How can they shift? They’re not even a day old.” I’d ask, looking around for someone, anyone.
“You will guide them. You carry blood deeply rooted in the old magics of the moon.”
My mind whirled with questions, but I quelled them. My pups came first, then the curiosity.
“What do I have to do?” I asked, ears pinning back in worry.
“Forge a link with them, you are an alpha, the magic of a pack is yours to command.”
That answered none of my questions. Sure, Father could accept a rogue into the pack and allow them to join in the pack link, which he never did with my mother, but I didn’t know how to do that. I assumed it was something you learned when you took the alpha title, like some innate knowledge that passed through the ranking ceremony. Thinking through that logic, it didn’t make much sense, but I had no reason to think too deeply into that. I hadn’t been destined to be Alpha.
“How?” I’d ask.
“An alpha is not made by being handed the answers.” A cryptic response that left me puzzled and frustrated.
“I’m not an alpha and I won’t be. I just want my pups to live a normal life. Please.” Desperation began to seep into my voice. I couldn’t be given hope just for it to be taken away. That wasn’t fair.
“The link starts and ends with the Alpha.” Another cryptic response that didn’t help me.
This line of questioning wasn’t getting me anywhere fast. I had to come up with a different angle if I wanted any real answers. Whoever owned this voice wasn’t going to just hand me the answers I needed, although why she insisted I was an alpha, I wasn’t sure. I held alpha blood, but that was as far asI had to an alpha claim.
“Okay…What blood do I have that gives me old magic?” Maybe if I asked a different question, I could get answers that I could use to question the elders. They might be able to give me more straightforward answers to the questions I actually wanted to know.
“Your blood has forged the path ahead for all shifters to use.” Again, that gave me absolutely no useful information.
I could feel my frustration rising, and my nails dug into the soft dirt beneath my paws. How could I word my questions so I could get answers? The voice filled the silence I left as I scrambled to twist my questions to fit this cryptic style.
“Follow your intuition, you are more powerful than you realize.”
“None of this helps me!” I ended up barking out, my frustration starting to boil.
I knew I had to reign myself in, but I was growing agitated. My pups needed me to figure this out but I had never been good at solving riddles and my desperation was making it hard to keep my temper in check. The last thing I wanted was for my pups to be stuck in their wolf forms. They would be so developmentally behind if they did, they’d never fit in. I just wanted them to have a normal life.
“Listen to your instincts, child. They have not led you astray.”
Mist began to rise from the ground, swallowing my paws. It was thick, impossible to see through even though it was only a few inches from the ground. Whatever this was, it was starting to disappear. I wasn’t done though, not yet. I still didn’t know how I was supposed to guide my pups to shift.
“Wait! Please! I-” I was interrupted.
“You know everything you must, trust in yourself.”
The mist rose faster, swallowing my legs, then my chest. I wasn’t done yet, there was still so much I had left to ask. What bloodline was this voice talking about? Who even was this voice? How did they know so much about me?
As my vision was obscured, the white mist turned to darkness.
I awoke quickly, looking around with wide eyes. I was still in my wolf form, my pups snuggled against me, sleeping like the little angels they were. I let out a deep sigh, lowering my head onto the blankets around me. My mind whirled with what I assumed was that dream. If it was anything like the mindscape I visited when I first shifted, I should trust what that voice said, whoever they were. How though? How was I supposed to get my pups to shift when they couldn’t even hear me, couldn’t even see? I closed my eyes, trying to think back to anything I remembered about my father and the pack link. I had never questioned how it worked or the magic behind it. It had always just been something I used, something I grew up with. Now I wished I had asked a few more questions. Not that those questioned would have been answered, it was like I wasn’t even his child anymore once Brycen was born.
My door opened slowly, the scent of cooking meat swirling around me, beckoning me to follow it. I didn’t, my pups too defenseless without me. I couldn’t just leave them here alone, what if they needed me? Sure, this house was safe, and warm, and full of people I trusted, but my instincts told me to stay.
Zack came in, each step quiet and careful. When he noticed me watching him, he waved.
“Hey, just checking on you. Ma has food ready when you’re ready to eat.” He whispered, keeping his respectful distance.
I looked down at my pups as hunger clawed at my stomach. I was starving, I needed to eat, but I didn’t want to leave them alone. I knew logically they were safe, but I was reluctant to go, especially when they were in wolf form. What if they rolled off the bed and hurt themselves? What if they cried for me the moment I got up? There was so much I found myself worrying over.
“You’ll be gone for like five minutes to eat. I’ll stay and watch them for you, okay?” Zack tried to coax me, and I could see the kindness in his eyes. He really didn’t mean any harm.
I looked down at my pups again, watching them sleep for a moment. I trusted Zack, and it wasn’t like I was leaving the house. I let out a soft sigh, shifting my weight to prepare to stand. My movements were careful and slow as I attempted to not wake either of them. I stepped out of the nest, carefully hopping off the bed. I looked back in the nest to check on them, still sleeping peacefully. I watched Zack with caution as he walked over to my bed and sat on the edge of it, looking into the nest before smiling over at me with a thumbs up. He had this under control, I just had to trust him…which I did. I trusted everyone in this house with my life. That was my life though, did I trust them all with the lives of my pups? I shook my head as I turned to head out of my room. What was I thinking? Of course I did. They were family and family protected one another, not hurt each other. I was just being paranoid now.
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I remained in my wolf form as I walked down the hall, following the scent of cooked meat. My stomach rumbled in hunger, and as I walked I realized how thirsty I was, and weak. My body would take a while to recover and every muscle protested with each movement. I came upon the kitchen and was greeted with the family. El turned from the stove to greet me, and I could see the slight disappointment in her eyes. I knew she was worried about me, but as long as my pups were in wolf form, I refused to shift back myself.
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“Hungry?” She’d ask me, taking a plate stacked with bacon, sausage, and fowl and setting it on the floor for me.
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I nudged her hand in thanks, walking over to the plate and starting to hesitantly pick up each piece of meat and eat it. I wasn’t used to living in wolf form, each action a little difficult. My wolf was exhausted, and I controlled the movement, but that didn’t make anything easier. I was awkward in this form, but I had always been a stubborn girl, and I refused to allow anything to force me to change. I’d figure out that cryptic message and we’d live as a normal family…I just had to access my alpha side. Great, exactly what I had been avoiding doing every day for the past seven months. I could only see this going over poorly, especially with Easton.
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A sigh escaped me with that thought. I just wanted to smooth things over with him. Easton was the only one who seemed to dislike me still, and while I knew not everyone would like me in my life, I wanted my brother to. That’s what he was now, my brother. El had taken me in as one of her own ages ago, and I truly saw them as my family. Was it wrong for me to want to be liked by my new family? I didn’t think so. Maybe it was too much to ask, to have Easton like me as well. I already had the others on my side.
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The plate was gone before I knew it, my thoughts distracting me to the point I barely noticed I ate everything. El reached down to pick the plate up, and I took a step back. I looked up into her face and caught the brief look of concern. She hid it quickly, giving me a brisk smile.
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“Let me get you some water dear. We need to keep your strength up.” She’d state, bringing a bowl of water down to my level.
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I lapped up the water, the cool liquid refreshing against my parched throat. Thirst was something I hadn’t noticed before either, until I was quenching it. I had to focus on myself more, my health was important in order to keep my pups healthy. That would prove hard though, with how worried I was over my twins. Maybe it was a new mother thing. That had to be it, I wouldn’t always be paranoid over them, would I?
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As I finished the bowl of water, I walked to each person in the kitchen, nosing them to let them know I appreciated them, before turning to head back to my room. I knew Zack was watching over them, and I hadn’t heard anything from them yet, but I had that lingering anxiety anyway. Padding into my room, my eyes landed on Zack, sitting on the bed and looking into the nest. My steps were slow and quiet as I approached, earning Zack’s attention but not waking my pups. I peered into the nest, my anxiety easing and my heart warming at the sight of my sleeping children. I nosed Zack in thanks, and he smiled and stood up to leave.
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“They were fine.” He whispered as he walked out of my room and closed the door.
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I hopped back onto my bed, stepping into the nest and curling around Artemis and Apollo. They barely stirred, grunting slightly as they settled into my fur. I lowered my head by them, letting out another sigh and closing my eyes. I’d get some more sleep, maybe I’d get another strange dream that gave me more answers this time.
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