I don't know how to write about love unless
I write about unrequited love
That one friend whose smile brightened my day
Until i had accidentally convinced myself she felt the same
And she hadn't, didn't, it had been a mirage
That left me wishing I had stayed silent
Like I do with most who I gain feelings for.
Silently love them the ways they're open to letting me, while harboring
Vague fantasies of what it might mean to
Matter more, carry more weight in their narratives
But I don't demand that weight.
I love from afar, from the safety of shore
Friends mermaids I'm unwilling to ask to trade their voice for legs
Knowing in all likelihood my soul was signed away a long time ago
And I gain enjoyment out of nourishing theirs, letting them blossom
Even when it leads them further from me
To their own destinies
My hope is that eventually I too may swim the ocean currents
To far away waters, to my own destiny elsewhere
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