以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQg76yPt3vH
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRgadWt6r4
感謝參與～135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfxsAVTMSAp
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWwdnB2gup
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ684bpGrPbB
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQa0bGBFZW
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetv438SrFh
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUAKdLVj1u
～～～～分隔線～～～～135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpL1py3O6F
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLDMrbtCYL
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgXB1TqVxt
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfpJGYSw8Zr
〈限制和自由〉135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUHTKv238a
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmgmBOxmq4l
penana.com/article/1024895135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQREzlaEGKk
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7v87Ko347
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4vL8TdO7cZ
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOEwIbIo28
詩度 0。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6S4ybv44q
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3C1sybM8N
～～～～分隔線～～～～135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3dF2fwGV9
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO0fxC0ZjN
〈問〉135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbGHo5V3QC
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH7qBCYSgL
penana.com/article/1024944135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XlBrSC734
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwHAhanR5b
詩度高一點。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKf1TpYH1dY
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJL5rs9KZd
～～～～分隔線～～～～135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRwX3m8Xgg
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZHzf72FAD
〈摩天之輪〉135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjmwlcV1Gz
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgQiRfegL4
penana.com/article/1045705135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjkNgBEUj2
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYj0zfmqhWd
詩度再高一點。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhO25drucWW
～～～～分隔線～～～～
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoX61Qol0En
〈蝴蝶酥〉135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ayce5Ea7u
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eKcK1A63f
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgYm2CFaJJu
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2NepPxSOU
詩度比前三首都高。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAYLkAXk0H
～～～～分隔線～～～～
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZen90MKJ0
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3euxfaYxv
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpThAy3SF7
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacLzdB8HtK
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2o3K89iY3Q
跟你分享。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReZYMU8B2S
～～～～分隔線～～～～
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGSkzDYm83f
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKB0q1RPan
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4FwRu9FRL
【認識新詩的基本元素】135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThDAO0Ax75
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUITEhG6S3P
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJQ5URxZ0o
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb6ojcoF2J
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLCFksZAuR
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojMuXisHyh
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99jQknzXaM
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUieLFOG2D8
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZtSwcFqAm
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsbB1I9uY2z
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5pLUMnoCWw
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9gcrFxGW4
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MJp5IHjRo
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfOamUg0zr
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGcuGiKPbT
【這次全新寫的感想】
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9w2bpRcHCS
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉作例子：
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguHhLmFT8c
〈詠栗〉
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAf5m45cX2
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMHbcJgoJN
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxX7Ms6bwP9
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7khQnPEr8
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cmeHUbimo
如果寫成
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYa9tQiRM6A
〈詠栗〉
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn41BqcwJhn
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7UmVAwApRl
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYHpGzQVmz
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiuZp4BIad
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhAEbL3aSt
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA672Rekmtj
當然，現代詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
135Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiroLL1Dp6n
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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