Blakely approached River slowly " how deep is our love?" He asked, touching her face. She smiled looking down
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"I'd die for you" she replied "you make me so happy" at this point she wouldn’t make eye contact with him she wouldn’t be able until he made her.
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He sat down on the bed, " why don't you sit down,my love?" She looked down, scrunched her face and took a seat next to the tall dark haired man, the one that’d she’d give her life for but knew he wouldn’t even think about doing the same. When she sat he stood looming over her. .
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" My love, who the hell is that?" She asked. He looked at her
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" River ,my dear, you must know. Who else is in this hotel room with us?" He asked as he looked around the empty room, nobody else was in the room with them. She knew he was upset by the first question he had asked when they had first walked in. And now he was being overly sweet to her which typically was right before he would hurt her.
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"Nobody." She felt defeated as Blakely smiled down at her. 'Why must he do this? Why does he make me feel this way? He's just using you. He'll leave you when he's done' the look on her face told him that she was scared especially as the tears started to slip down her cheeks. He didn’t question why she was crying instead he just simply walked across the room to a small bedside table on top of which had a record player.
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A slow simple rhythm played ‘The Way You Look Tonight’ he approached her again from across the room. "The same song played when Mason introduced us." He took her hand " why don't we dance?" She stood,as she did he took her waist gently.
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Her body tensed, "Don’t touch me" she whispered
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"my dear, you didn't seem to care when Mason was sticking his tongue down your throat. Have you forgotten that you’re my fiancè and not some whore? " He whispered into her ear, grabbing her chin. 'oh, that's why he's mad. You fucked up river. He hates you.' she stood on her tiptoes in order to be eye to eye with him. She kisses him,he instinctively raises his hand to hit her, ‘Do not hit her it's not that serious, find something else to do’ He thought to himself, he placed his hand on the back of her neck and intertwined his fingers into her hair as he kissed back. He pulled away from her "River, I thought you didn’t want me to touch you?" He questioned her.
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She shook her head "I changed my mind… I have to make you happy." He removes his hands from her body
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" I'm not Jon, you are not obligated to make me happy or pleasure me. You can consent and you can take consent away." He spoke slowly to her "I promise you that. We don't have to continue if you don't want to. I'm a big boy. I know how to use my hand unlike that bastard your dearest mother married." She laughed slightly and it was pained. He was used to her changing her mind but this was a big moment for her and he didn't want her to hate him. He had plenty of other girls doing that right now.
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"I want to continue." She spoke with a slight confidence. She was still scared he had raised his hands to her. His hand grazed her exposed midriff, causing tingles to go down her spine. She looked down to see a slight bruise. The look on his face said that he was so sorry and like he hated himself. He had grabbed her sometime during the party tonight but for what,what was it? What had she done? The bruise was only exposed due to the slit in her dress. Some nights she wouldn’t be able to sleep, and would think of him to be able too. The thoughts of being able to be held in his arms, the thoughts of what they could be. The thoughts of him protecting her from the trouble that would arise. 'I wonder how he always looks like he doesn’t have anything on his mind.You can tell something is wrong but it's only if you get close to him.’ she thought to herself, face slowly brightening.
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“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?” Lucien whispered in her ear and she shivered. “A thousand stars could never shine as bright as the light that used to be in your eyes. Your smile is so fucking pretty River and I know you’ve had a lot to take away that beauty but I need that beauty back.” he held her face, again making sure to be gentle with his touch.
(switch in point of view)
‘I need you to be the happy river again’ . The one I always watched from afar wondering how she was so well put together and was happier than I was. (switch back) She was in many of his classes and was always so good at them. Her eyes lit up when the history teacher would ask her a question and she would blurt out the answer with such certainty. That all stopped in 11th grade, she started dressing with more of her body covered. Her smile was gone, her friends gone, and she always stood by the front of the building with nobody around her. I had tried to speak to her a couple of times but she had shied away. (switches again) And now I was sitting in a hotel room with her, after a party.
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“What do you mean you always gave me judgemental looks?” she said tensing up “You thought.” She looked at my eyes, I kind of looked down not wanting
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“Fuck, I paid more attention to you than i probably should’ve, River I watched you because I wanted you. No, I needed you. I wanted to make you happy again. I wanted to be the reason you smiled again”
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I watched her as she sat up in front of me and stared blankly at my face “You needed me? You the popular guy needing me, the girl who didn’t have friends” I smiled a little bit.
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“Yes, you always interested me. You were something mysterious that I couldn’t figure out and I wanted to figure you out.”
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My smile faded a little "I leave tomorrow, River. Love, I don't know what I'm going to do without you." I grabbed her chin again and made her look at me “I need you to make a decision.. Do you want to come with me or are you going to stay here?” her eyes were focused on the floor “I want to go with you but is that good for us?” I looked at her “No, nothing is good for us River? Just because I’m not good for you? I’ll never be good for you. But even though we’re not good for each other, I love you and I’ll never stop loving you” She stood up and wrapped her arms around me.
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“Blakely, I love you so goddamn much but I’m not coming with you I can’t, and I think this would look better on someone else” She took the ring off of her finger and grabbed my hand placing the ring into my palm. I felt my heart sink, “Keep it, you’ll come back” I know I sounded cocky but I knew she would, we couldn’t stay away from each other. I walked out of the hotel room and down that stairs into the crowded lobby. That was the last time that I saw River Cunningham, in fact that's the last time anyone saw her. It was ten years ago, she was just seventeen
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