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No Plagiarism!DWk47Wv9ZdwPETIMdXl2posted on PENANA 這三個月來,我斷斷續續地向她傳送着信息,可是收到的只是「未讀」這個狀態。盡是虛無和寂寞,彷彿那些説話都被丟到海底似的,毫無回音。不堪回首的對話被我迅速滑過,時間回到五月的初夏。8964 copyright protection123PENANAWFBLbCSHE7 維尼
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回想起記憶中的細節時,就已經讓人頭昏欲裂。我一路向便利店走去,又帶着幾支酒回來。步走的那幾百米,又被人拉長了許多倍呢,我走回去記憶中滿滿的痛和苦,走了整個初夏才回到海堤旁。一邊吞下那冰酒,一邊和意識迷糊的自己對話。8964 copyright protection123PENANAXYnLPuvFtq 維尼
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「那個啊,她不是早就不在你身旁了嗎?」我反問着自己。8964 copyright protection123PENANAqtEQCgG0qG 維尼
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那,剛才和我的只是...8964 copyright protection123PENANAa2jVbP0FUV 維尼
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腦中記憶逐漸迷糊,思緒雜亂,早已傻傻分不清現實和虛幻了。拿着又一支新開的蘋果酒,恨不得把自己灌醉。坐在堤壩上,獨自把悶酒一口氣灌下肚中。不管她的苦澀和刺口了,喉嚨滾得發燙,直入腸胃中。眼淚不由自主地流下來,久久未能止住。8964 copyright protection123PENANATxlJlz1EnA 維尼
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她的身影多麼遙遠啊。8964 copyright protection123PENANAHZSVNIaEbe 維尼
127Please respect copyright.PENANAWgcygN5UmB
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「哈哈...哈哈...」我用了好一會兒才用淚水回答自己。「也許,這些都是我的南柯一夢罷了。」摸着臉龐,幾滴淚水弄濕了手心。「明明看上去一點也不痛苦的説。我不是在笑着的嗎...」8964 copyright protection123PENANAh6EDdXVXy7 維尼
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喃喃自語。酒精也很快起了作用了。8964 copyright protection123PENANAS6RTs8z4Yc 維尼
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「她最後還不是離開了而已,還在裝作甚麼東西呢,笨蛋。」8964 copyright protection123PENANAuj1ASD7Yit 維尼
127Please respect copyright.PENANAotfaIlXreb
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到頭來,我就是個被心理機制扭曲自己的人罷了。妄想着甚麼幸福的橋段,還真的嘔心至極了。8964 copyright protection123PENANAbaQPUMR9zJ 維尼
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甚至連一呼一吸,都在勾起我和她的回憶。可是如何屏着呼吸都沒有任何作用。8964 copyright protection123PENANAvG3wrzrs9Q 維尼
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「【不痛苦】這種假話,不又是否認自己的防禦機制而已。」8964 copyright protection123PENANAOlHBpUqx7u 維尼
127Please respect copyright.PENANAaslhCxhf2t
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更何況你不能改變過去啊。8964 copyright protection123PENANAvkMgAmJI35 維尼
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任我如何妄想,都走不出殘破的世界。8964 copyright protection123PENANAeZoNSkyyyn 維尼
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在我面前的只有鬼打牆的每天;對無法改變的現實感到無力;腦海中全是無法遺忘的過去;可是未來還是不得不面對。8964 copyright protection123PENANAaMVhGf9dGT 維尼
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萬般回憶,如潮水拍打着思緒。浪聲和她離開的那天一模一樣,盡是煩躁的聲音。8964 copyright protection123PENANAdEvtv8NoTY 維尼
127Please respect copyright.PENANAlCtMJaGhDM
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話説啊,那天是盛夏初臨的那時。可是她的道別,只有輕輕一句在聊天室的「晚安」,無聲無息。8964 copyright protection123PENANA5BuzRPLdHB 維尼
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之後她便頭也不回地墮進彼方了,沒有回來,也沒法回來。8964 copyright protection123PENANAttOveNgxBD 維尼
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明天的太陽仍然初昇,唯獨黎明中不見她的身影。8964 copyright protection123PENANAmVs4fr3rjj 維尼
127Please respect copyright.PENANAloSTOVg6nu
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她遺留下來的,只有那張姍姍來遲的書信而已。我已經喪失表達自己的能力了,只能自顧自的哭。8964 copyright protection123PENANAXjacO3ZW01 維尼
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這些月來,不斷用藥物迷醉自己,或是阻止自己去想關於妳的事情,或是欺騙自己。假想着妳還在我的身旁,掩飾自己無能的事實。8964 copyright protection123PENANAXU2vSojEfZ 維尼
127Please respect copyright.PENANAxoNvqQ1bC8
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一直如此,直到現在。靈魂早已被剝奪,丟到不知何處了。明明活着卻裝成死掉的模樣。只是,人終歸一死,明知結局奈何,對此悲痛淪落到如此,不是很可笑嗎?8964 copyright protection123PENANAB6X5ml8hw1 維尼
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那夜晚的天空飄來一盞天燈,拉扯着我早已被淚水模糊的目光。8964 copyright protection123PENANALm62GIovjx 維尼
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及後,是萬千的天燈緊隨其後。天空不再完全暗淡,被那繁光點綴着。燭光柔和,燈紅之火也總算在漫漫長夜中給予了一絲温暖。燈火猶如回憶的碎片段,在一次又一次的思憶中才得以窺探過去。窺探過去,又勾起思縷萬千的情感,然而我現在真的累得無法再去思考了呢。8964 copyright protection123PENANAAb1lU74iMM 維尼
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在燈海的微光下,在酒精的薰陶下,在回憶的思緒下,我躺在岸邊,昏睡了過去。8964 copyright protection123PENANAZMbzDN412w 維尼
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星海真美呢。可我卻迷醉於過去中,只懂得泣淚。渴望有人能在黑夜中為我指引着前進的道路,然而我無法再次等待到她了。8964 copyright protection123PENANAOVJV1XFH3P 維尼
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若能永遠在燈海如星之夜中待着,黎明永不到臨,那該有多好呢。8964 copyright protection123PENANAzvzDGOI0gP 維尼
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「是吧。夏祭如夢,説不定自己只是在另一個夢中而已。」8964 copyright protection123PENANAVTgz3HiLCL 維尼
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——第一章完——8964 copyright protection123PENANAVjFAN14Rhe 維尼
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